Broken Fates
by Chibirini1
Summary: Broken then reunited, twins from a royal family strive to keep their lives together. A princess and her brother end up falling in love at the time of desolation and uproar. How will they survive, and will they ever really be together? RinxLen, Twincest.
1. Chapter 1

Rin POV

The sun was rising into the bright, cloudless sky. As I stood at the window, I felt a small pang in my chest as I realized the new day.

From behind me, I hear footsteps and a yawn. I turn, and see my daughter emerge from her small bedroom from the back of our home. She stretches as she pads into our main room, a sleepy smile already on her face.

"Good morning Mama." She greets me, kissing me on the cheek. At eighteen years old, she is tall, with long hair and fair skin, a true beauty in body and spirit. For she is kind, a gentle and loyal soul. As she shakes out her braid from last night, I am reminded again how often it is remarked that she looks like me, a comment I always shrug off for various reasons.

She turns to me and smiles again, a smile that always lifts my spirit. She is my angel, after all, my little daughter.

"Do you think the weather will last till tomorrow? It's beautiful, and perfect for a wedding!"

I nod to her. Of course it shall last; my daughter deserves the most perfect wedding. How happy she is today, the last day before she becomes a wife to such a kind man. He reminds me of another one, and I know that he is good and will protect and love my daughter.

But as joyous as she is, the weight of what rests on my mind is heavy like a storm cloud. Leave it to me to put a damper on things, but it must be done.

I slide my hand over her head gently, and she peers up at me from her seat. I inhale, struck by the expression on her face. It is a comfort and a knife at the same time, and reminds me of what needs to be done.

"Come, Rinna. There is something I must tell you." She gets up to follow me to our sitting corner eagerly. She expects me to tell a tale, but I know it is not one she expects, but still yearns for.

We sit in the thinly padded chairs by our other window, and she picks up her knitting, but I put out my hand to halt her.

"No, it is a different story today, one that I should have told a long time ago. It is important you listen." Slowly she lowers her hands to her cream nightgown, eyes wondering.

"What's wrong?" She asks, already concerned. I smile to reassure her and unfold my hands from my own lap. But I am unsure of where to begin.

"It's nothing, just the weight of the story upon me." I reply carefully. I am unsure of where to begin.

"What is this story, and who of?"

I turn my head towards the window to the pale morning sky and consider her question. And then I know how to begin.

"It is not the tale of one, as would be expected." I say. "It was always two. From the start, two, never just one. Even when apart, the fates wove them together to make such a tale, for without each other, there would be none." I pause, just for a moment, for strength.

"It all started in a kingdom on a bright spring day, the day it all began…"

"Can you believe it?"

"Who would have thought there would be two…?"

All eyes were on the two small infants in the yellow cream bassinet. Born only hours ago, everyone and anyone of noble blood had swiftly gathered to the castle to view not one, but two babies.

"An heir at last." One whispered, for it was true. A small infant with a tiny fuzzy crop of blond hair lay in the cradle, his eyes not yet open. He seemed to sleep peacefully, curled up to the other child's side.

The other baby, a little girl, was quite awake. Identical in looks to her brother, she pursed her pink mouth as she gazed up above with wide, startling blue eyes. As a hand reached in to stroke her sleeping brother's soft cheek, she gave a small cry. Her twin nestled in closer, not alarmed by the sound even in his dreams.

All looked down on the children, but it was the sleeping boy they were interested in. And strangely enough, neither of the twins had any interest in the crowd. They were more concerned with each other.

"Ah, such a pity…"

"Pity?"

"Well, I mean there are two… and only the boy can inherit."

From my place behind the chair, I suddenly halted my playing, listening in instead. At eight, I was small for my age and able to fit into small places for good hiding spots, but wasn't really perceptive enough to use them to their full potential.

But today was different. I had heard remnants of a similar conversation elsewhere, and my curiosity had risen. I put down my doll into my silk-covered lap and delicately pressed my ear against the velvet cushion of the chair I was currently behind.

"Well you know what they say. An heir and a spare!" Chuckles from beyond. I felt confused, but my brow dipped down as I concentrated. Inside, I felt a little sick, sensing a dark meaning.

A nudge at my knee broke my focus.

Sitting across from me was my twin, who I had almost completely forgotten about. He was quieter than I was, and had been listening for longer as well. His eyes conveyed worry, and in my mind I could practically hear him, like I sometimes could.

_Do you understand?_ I shook my head lightly, blond strands tickling my neck. He frowned and scratched his neck.

_Len. _He glanced up. But before I could finish my thought, I was interrupted from our target.

"Well, the girl will be married off soon enough anyways, to some other country on the bridge of war."

"Aren't they only eight?"

"Yes, but betrothal starts early. Soon enough she will be shipped off to adjust to her fiancé's country and their customs before even being married."

My throat ran dry as I grasped some type of understanding. I glanced across at my brother.

His young face was in shadow, but it gave me chills to look at him, for he gave off waves of emotion, feelings of fright and anger that were strong, and only confused me further.

As if sensing my own feelings, his head shot up to me, and in a flash his face changed, from one of angry realization to the one I knew best, an expression of calm with a slight smile. He smiled more as if to reassure me, so I smiled back, but inside still felt unease.

Later, as the day drew to a close, Len and I were getting ready for bed.

We were a bit old for a nursery, but still slept in one because we liked sleeping near each other. If one of us had a nightmare, the other was only a few steps away.

It was a large, clean swept room with many books and toys for us. Large windows made one end of the room, and Len and I's beds were pushed on opposite walls in the back. Our governess had an adjoined room, but since we had gotten older she had begun to close it at night since she wasn't needed. In the corner of the room was another plain door that led to a staircase for the servants. They were all over the castle, making it easy for servants to slip in and out of places discreetly.

On this particular night, the moon was bright as it peeked through heavy velvet curtains, making thin strips of light on the thick rug across the tiled floor. I jumped into bed even though I wasn't cold; I just liked the comfort of a blanket wrapped around me like a hug.

I nestled down and looked across where Len sat, in his nightclothes on his bed. He hadn't touched the sheets.

"Len?" I whispered. He didn't look back, only turned his head towards the window. I sat up too.

"What's wrong?" I questioned the incident from earlier still stuck in my mind. He said nothing. I jumped out of bed then, flinging the covers away before dashing across the floor and jumping onto his bed, bobbing up and down on the mattress.

At this he showed no reaction, and still didn't look at me, which made me scared. What was so awful that it had rendered my brother speechless? I grabbed his hand.

"Rin…" He finally said. I looked where he gazed, at the green fields, dyed navy by the dark as the grasses waved gently in the warm wind.

"Yes?" I probed.

"You know what they were talking about earlier, right?" So it was from earlier. I bit my lip, not wanting to seem stupid at not understanding the conversation.

"Kinda." I replied, ready to defend myself. But then he turned his blond head to me, his eyes dark and serious.

"They're going to separate us, Rin. Marry you off to someone far away." My heart skipped a beat as his hand clenched around mine. They had been talking about us? About me? My lips parted in a sort of attempt at speech, but my words were gone.

"And why? Because I'm here. Because I'm a boy. They just want me to be king. That's all. Even though we are twins." He sounded miserable, his voice riddled with guilt and anger. Len was always more serious, even at eight.

"No." I managed. "They can't. I don't want to get married. I want to stay here with you." Everything said earlier slipped into place. Yet a part of my brain noted that I should be happy I had such a perceptive brother.

Len turned towards me, grabbing me tightly into a hug, one even better than the ones from my blankets. My arms went around him as well, but my heart ached so that I was on the verge of tears.

"They will! They can and they will." Len swallowed hard. "I don't think mother and father would have done such a thing, if they were alive, but there's nothing we can do."

I buried my face into his shoulder, heart pounding. I bit my lip harder, holding back tears, those were for babies. I was a princess, I must be strong. But to be without my brother, my only real family and constant companion… he was the only person I loved and who loved me. Everyone else, even our governess cared for us and did what we wanted for the most part, but didn't love us. They saw us as future rulers and pieces in the county's well being, not as children who craved affection and love. Luckily, we had each other. For now.

I felt Len's breathing increase, and I knew he was panicking. As calm as my brother was, he sometimes worried so that he worked himself into a fit. In those times, only I could calm him.

I drew back and placed my small palm on his cheek, looking into his eyes closely, our foreheads touching.

"Shh, shh." I soothed. I rubbed his back, trying to calm him. He looked at me, into my eyes, and held onto my forearms tightly, tight enough to leave small marks. But I ignored the pricks, still trying to soothe him.

"They won't." He said tightly. I nodded a bit, trying to assure. He tightened his grip.

"I won't let them, Rin." He said, his warm breath brushing my face. I felt unsettled at this; this was unusual behavior from Len. But I could only nod, lest he become more upset. He relaxed his hands, sliding them down to take a hold of my hands.

"It's ok, don't worry." I cooed. His breathing was more normal, deeper, calmer. I looked away, scared at my thoughts. If Len was this upset, it must be inevitable. Tears again pricked at my eyes until Len squeezed my hands. I met his steady gaze.

"Rin." He said. I parted my lips, but was too caught in the intensity of his eyes. In them lay something bright.

"Rin," he repeated. "I'm not going to let them send you away." I nodded, breathless, even though my thoughts objected to that as they swirled around in my head.

"No." he asserted, reading me like a book. "I mean it." This immediately caught my attention. This was not Len simply making a promise to console; this was Len with a plan.

"Len, what do you think you're gonna do?" I said accusingly. After all, we were only eight years old, and royal blood doesn't go that far when you're young.

His eyes held steady and burned brightly. "I'm leaving." He announced.

For a moment, everything was still. This entered my brain and came to rest. I could hear the chirping of insects outside the open windows, could feel the breeze that brushed aside the curtains curling across my neck. And then it all slammed into reality.

I jumped, jumped in my skin and off his bed.

"Excuse me?" I stammered. "You think you're going to what? That the answer to this problem is to leave?" My thin chest heaved up and down. Now I was the one having a fit. I felt my body become hot with anger, my cheeks flaming with indignation, fists balled. Len slid neatly off the bed to put his arms around me.

"Shh Rin, you'll wake them up." He whispered into my ear. "Calm down." I shook my head, speechless.

"You can't leave." I fumed in an angry whisper. He stroked my back peacefully and looked at me sadly. I shook my head again, whipping my blond hair back and forth. He sighed.

"Listen to me." He drew me back to his bed and sat. After a moment of hesitation, I too sat. He turned to me.

"If I leave, they will have no other heir but you, Rin. They can't marry off the last of the Kagamine blood. You'll rule alone. Once it's been long enough, I'll come back, and we can be together again."

"Len! I-" He shushed me, and I lowered my voice. "And what would you do? Starve to death out there? And you think they're not going to look for you?" My voice rose again. "We would still be separated!"

"Shh, calm, Rin. I would do fine. We both have some money; I can use that to start myself out fine. Other boys out there are getting apprenticed; I can surely find something as well. I'll go far, and be careful, they won't find me." He reached out and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. "And I know we'd be apart, but we would be in control. I could come back and see you, it wouldn't be forever. And what other choice is there?"

My breath hitched. Why did Len have to be so right? Sitting around here and waiting for something else to happen would never work. This was a better alternative, no matter how unseemly it seemed.

"It doesn't seem fair, for us to be separated and for you to have to be alone out there." I whispered. He stroked my hair absentmindedly.

"I'd miss you, but I would do ok. Don't worry." I shook my head anyways. He stood.

"Len!" I gasped, my head bobbing up. "You can't mean tonight." I felt angry. He expected me to get used to such an idea in mere minutes? To be ready to say goodbye to my brother practically in an instant?

He looked away. "There's no time like the present." He said quietly. I stood to go to him as he pulled on his clothes, but he held out his hand.

"Don't, Rin." His voice sounded husky. "Just lay down. Go to sleep."

Frozen, I watched him as he pulled on his boots and fastened his hair back. He dug around in our chest for our small bags of coins we had for spending and play, tucking it inside his jacket.

I began to feel it, welling up inside me. I stood there, gasping like a fish, my legs shaking. Len looked up and his eyes grew misty.

"Oh, Rin. Don't cry. Please, Rin." He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. I cried into his thin shoulder like my heart would break. He gripped me tightly.

"I have to Rin. We have to be strong. We'll be together." I shook my head. This was bad, why would he go and leave us both alone?

"Shh. Don't cry." He soothed, but his words sounded choked. Inside, I knew I was being selfish. He was doing this for me, and I was crying and begging him not to leave. Stupid girl. But I couldn't stop my cries, even when I tried.

I buried my face into the crook of his neck and shoulder. Len always had a special smell that I loved, and at the moment, was comforting. He sniffed and hugged me closer for a moment before releasing me. I tried to put on a brave face again, but I saw his face, and with a hiccup I was crying again.

"It's ok." Len said, and led me to his bed. "Just lay down, alright? Go to sleep." My heart began beating fast, because this was it. He was leaving. I locked my arms around his neck even as I laid on his bed. He struggled a bit, but managed to remove my death grip. Before I could try again, he grabbed my arms.

I whimpered. "Len, please…." I whispered. The words lingered on my lips. _Don't leave me alone._ He inhaled and exhaled shakily.

"No Rin." He replied. Then he removed one hand from restraining me to the table beside his bed to grab something. He held his out to me and opened it. In it lay his signet ring, the one with a small engraved "L". It shone gold with small rubies, our birthstone. It was a little too big for him, but he wore it almost every day. I looked up into his deep eyes.

"Take it." He whispered. "If I have it on me, I can be recognized. And I want you to have it until I return." I saw his hand tremble, so I carefully took it. He sat up and untied my ribbon that I wore. Taking the ring, he threaded it onto the ribbon. I sat up as well.

He reached his arms around me and tied it carefully. I touched the ring, still warm from his palm, and almost burst into tears. Seeing my look, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead softly, lingering for a moment before sliding of the bed. I gasped, and he quickly turned as he took up his small bag.

"Shh. Don't wake the others." He whispered, nodding towards the governess's door. I gazed after him as he approached the door. At it, he hesitated and turned.

"I'll be back soon." And with that, he slipped into the door and was gone.

My lungs had no air, my legs were lead. My head shook as it pounded and I realized he was gone. Suddenly, I leaped out of his bed, ran to the door and flung it open. My eyes saw nothing but darkness, and I heard no footsteps. My legs shook and I closed the door. Turning my eyes to the window, I caught a glimpse of a moving figure, about the size of a small boy cutting across the yards.

It was almost out of sight when it stalled, shifted, and raised an arm. I pressed my hand against the glass in farewell and yearning, and watched the figure disappear.

I found the glass shifting, moving up as I slid down to the floor. Tucking my knees to me, I sobbed quietly, stuffing my nightgown to my lips to stifle any escaped sounds.

Eventually, I crawled back to Len's empty bed, and gripping the bedcovers, managed to pull myself into it, collapsing onto his pillow, which still smelled of him. It was there when I fell into a deep sleep, haunted by the image of a running boy.

**A/N**

**Hey! if you don't know me, I'm Chibirini!**

**Yes, I finally uploaded my new story XD For others who have read my last story, (Remember), I apologize for the wait, I told you guys a week! **

**However, I realized I wanted to write a lot of it out before uploading, because this is going to be a long story, and it's hard to keep it all straight in my head! So I wrote at least three chapters, and am currently writing more. I think this may be 15+ chapters, and I'll try to upload regularly. **

**Anyways, yes this is based off/inspired by Story of Evil. Unlike all my other RinxLen stories, this will only be told from Rin's point of view, except for a few bits. I want to stress that I know that some things have been changed from the storyline/videos, but I did so because that's the way I imagined it! I did do a lot of research, watching many versions of Servant of Evil, Daughter of Evil, Regret Message, etc. And yea, I cried for each one XD I am pretty wimpy! **

**Anyways, This is my own interpretation of the story, and I apologize if it is not to your liking! As my Synchronicity story was, I will change things, add things, and go farther than the videos. **

**Another thing is that I am not writing this story with chapters in mind. I am writing it as more of a fluid piece, so I apologize if it leaves off strangly.**

**As usaul, feel free to leave me a review or comment, I will always respond in the next chapter in the A/N. Feel free to leave suggestions, predictions, questions, etc. Although the story is pretty set in my head, I always consider them and love to hear what you guys think will happen!**

**Another warning is that the rating may eventually change due to violence, death, etc. Just a heads up!**

**So thank you for reading, and I'm sorry for such a long note, I don't usaully ramble on so much! I hope you all enjoy it, and I am looking forward to writing the rest of this very, very much. See ya!**


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning erupted into chaos, beginning with me waking to my governess's scream. Over the next few months, I was questioned and kept under close guard as the entire castle looked tirelessly for their heir. But Len had hidden himself well or had gone far, for he was not found. Rumors escalated and I was well scrutinized and petted as they realized I was the remaining heir. Eventually the searches ceased and Len was pronounced gone. I kept his ring well hidden; only bringing it out to look at when I missed him most, usually at night.

Time moves slowly for a child. Days seem like months, months; years, years; ages. I too looked for my twin. He was every boy my age. He was the flash of yellow in the corner of my eye. I looked for him every time a door opened, every time I heard someone laugh. I would gaze out the window for hours, erupting into fits if disturbed. But as the days, months, then years ticked by, I stopped looking for him. But I missed him no less.

It was an ache always present, that even in the happiest of time was always there, as a reminder that he wasn't. In the worst moments, I was seized by darkness, by feelings of complete solitude and emptiness, that I could barely control myself. I'd find somewhere alone where I could grieve, sobbing and clutching onto every memory I had left. I never lost faith he would return, but as I grew older, it became harder to think of it.

In my mind I would imagine it. Him appearing out of nowhere, smiling as if he had never left. Or being returned to me by some wonderful stranger, who realized who he was and where he belonged. I thought of it a million times, all different, but almost all the same. Always he would return to me whole and perfect, with a smile and words of happiness on his lips.

I grew older to my own surprise, losing baby teeth and growing taller. With each change noted I wondered the same of him. Had he too lost his last tooth? Was he growing bigger, as I was? I pictured him as I grew, examining myself in the mirror, trying to imagine my face as more masculine, with the same eyes and coloring, but different.

When our father died from disease, our mother followed soon after. Unexpectedly, I didn't feel the same way I did when Len left. Sure, our parents paid me little attention, even when I was named heir, but I always loved them. I felt loss, but it was nowhere near the wound in me from my twin.

Puberty shocked me, not only for being warned little after my mother had died, but also with realization. Realization that Len had been gone for so long, and that somewhere, he looked different then I did. When he left, we were the same. Short and skinny, flat chests and short blond hair. Now I developed curves and breasts, and felt loss.

The day I realized this, I looked into the mirror and was angry. Angry that he had not returned, that so much time was gone. Angry we weren't the same. And maddened, I grabbed a pair of sewing shears and cut off my hair, grown long after Len had left. Now my hair was as short as his was, only long enough for a small ponytail like he always wore. In this way, we would be the same. Short, glossy blond hair.

I smiled to myself in the glass and felt thrilled at the gasps of servants and ladies in waiting. They were horrified, for a woman's pride was her long hair. But now it laid in choppy pieces, the longest to my chin. And although there were great protests, I grasped that they could not make me grow it out again. I was filled with the feeling of power for the first time. And I smiled to myself still. No longer would I be their pawn. And when Len returned, he wouldn't be as well.

I had grown bitter and somewhat spoiled over the years, furious with everyone for not being Len, and for ultimately driving him away. They were all at fault in my mind, and I was completely Id, only desiring to have my wants fulfilled with no sense of moral. All I wanted was my brother, but I could not have him, they could not give him to me. And with the feeling of power, my temperament grew worse.

By age seventeen, I was a lady and a princess. Groomed and educated in all "important" things, I knew how to command a room, stitch, and talk and walk quietly. I was an accomplished dancer, singer, and could play the lute. I wore fine clothes, talked elegantly, and was established in mathematics, writing, reading, and geography. But I knew nothing.

Because of my young age, I was still a Princess, not yet a queen. I would be crowned as such at the age of eighteen, and until then would remain a "daughter" of our country rather than a "mother." Inwardly, I wondered if they were still holding out hope that Len would return. I had no care for politics, economics, or social conduct. I held only disgust in the court and anyone who was overly kind to me, as to win my favor. Those were the ones I hated, for those were the ones who had surely whispered about me and my brother.

The day started with a disturbance.

"Please, may you send something to the western city? There is a drought and the crops-"

I yawned. I felt for the people, but they all bored me so, so much. And every time I tell the chancellor to send them something, they always come back.

I stood, interrupting the woman's speech. I gazed at her for a moment. She was taller than I, but not statuesque. She had brown hair clipped close, and a very curvy figure with a large chest. I felt myself grow warmer in embarrassment for staring, so I turned away.

"Chancellor, handle it." I directed, and began to walk across the tiled floors to the door, my ladies trailing behind me.

"Wait!" The red woman called after me. I heard footsteps and turned to see the guards rushing to restrain the woman, who had begun to follow me in pursuit. She struggled against their hold.

"You have to help us! They're starving and-" she was cut off, muffled by a guard. I stepped back hesitantly.

She had a desperate look in her eyes. They seemed to struggle as her body did, and her whole form radiated a strong emotion almost like anger. I bit my lip and grasped a fold of my dress, lavender today.

Swallowing dryly, I licked my lips. "Please, just deal with her." I said shakily. That something in her eyes reminded me of the one thing I did not want to think of.

I rushed out of the room, throwing my arm back to halt my company.

"I want to be alone!" I commanded. Apart from a single guard, they dispersed as I fled.

My tears blurred my vision as I passed open windows, windows that let the fresh air that rolled off the fields in. The green and blue of the sky blurred together as I glanced through them while passing.

Once I arrived in my room, I closed the door firmly, pushing my weight against the glossy indents of the wood so I could latch the iron lock.

I leaned against the door, breathing heavily. I commanded myself to calm, I could not keep getting worked up over every little thing. _Calm, calm,_ I thought, as my brother used to. Eventually I gained control over myself and stood. Kicking off my bothersome slippers, I dug my toes into the thick carpet, relishing the feel of it.

The carpet was actually a gift from the prince of the neighboring blue country, Prince Kaito. Although we had never met, he had sent this as a gift for my birthday almost two years ago, my sixteenth. Although it had faded a bit since then, I loved it. It was primarily gold and rose, and depicted the sea at sunset with a border of yellow roses, my favorite despite their rarity.

I walked across said carpet to my window seat, carefully setting myself down on the russet pillows. The sun was still high in the sky.

A knock at my locked door startled me. I padded across the room quietly and slipped on my shoes before opening the door. A very distressed servant stood there, a look of disdain etched deep into his face. I recognized him; he was one of the many castle keepers who were in charge of all the servants and the household. He sniffed haughtily when he saw me. Inside, I felt something harden in anger, for I knew that all the servants thought me weak for my unwillingness to perform all of my responsibilities and for running off when distressed.

"Mistress, a boy is here, sent to become a serving-man." He announced. I wrinkled my nose and opened the door a little further.

"What is that my business? Hire whomever is needed." I was hardly bothered with these things; I wasn't usually consulted about anything, especially not mere servants.

He sighed as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "I would, Princess, but he demands to be seen by you before being hired!" he leaned closer and hissed; "And he demands it alone, your highness. I think it is a plot! I would turn him away, but we need the help for the ball…"

I sighed and straightened. I highly doubt it was an assassin or some other suspect. _Maybe_, I thought wryly, _it was some man who had heard of my immense beauty_. This caused some stifled laughter in me, further confusing the distressed man.

I cleared my throat and stood tall. "Send him here. I will meet with him in private." _At least it would be some sort of entertainment_, I decided. The man gaped, but nodded. He backed away respectfully and I closed the door. I sat back down, and idly wondered how long it would take.

I glanced across the room to the door. Nothing. Next to the door, the light from the window shone on the crème and gold wallpaper. It was embossed with roses and quite pretty in the light, but I sighed and let my eyes travel idly across the room.

A large, four post oak bed, complete with yellow comforters and pillows. My writing desk, a large mirror, and a matching oak wardrobe lined the walls. I yawned slightly and turned my head to the window. Down below was an expansive garden, a large marble wall, then faintly across the fields, a village. Lining the outline of the plain village was a strip of shining blue: the sea.

I loved the sea, but hadn't been there since I was little. No time anymore, and after Len's disappearance, I haven't been out of the castle at all. To keep me safe and all that. But I loved to play in it before. To run along the warm, damp sand, with Len trailing behind me. He loved to crouch over and scan the beach for smooth rocks, shell, and other treasures. After finding a few, he would run to show me, and together we would examine them. To wade into the water and feel the cool water on your legs, I always thought that was the feeling of freedom.

So absorbed in my thoughts did I not notice the first knock at my door. Startled, I composed myself, and turning back to the window, called:

"Enter." I stared out the window, feeling that same tingle of excitement I felt before a ball. I heard the door close behind me but didn't turn. I wanted to appear careless and powerful to this bold stranger. I smiled to myself as I reached out to pick up my fan from my side.

"Rin."

My hand halted, my heart pounded. Frozen, I replayed that sound again and again in my mind. Was it my imagination? A memory? It couldn't be.

I turned swiftly, forgetting composure. My eyes met the man before me, and I inhaled swiftly.

He smiled, a small smile that I could have recognized anywhere.

**A/N**

**Woo! Chapter two~ I changed the title cuz I didnt like the other one~**

**Not much to say except I promise the story will get going now... Mostly been backstory, ya know?**

**Anyways~**

**SheWhoLeavesCrappyReviews~ **

**That sucks! I'll be ehading off to college in the fall, and i hope our internet isn't weird... But thanks! I'm glad you like it ^^**

**Len has always been clever ;D Rin will be a mix... She will still be kind of evil, but there will be more reason behind it... So kinda the best of both worlds!**

**Thank you TAT youre so sweet! I look forward to hearing what you think!**

**So thanks for reading, see y'all next week!**


	3. Chapter 3

He smiled, a small smile that I could have recognized anywhere.

"_Kasha umi te_?" He asked. My mind, which was already such a blur, was initially confused by these words. I knew the feeling, the familiar sound, but couldn't place it. Then I suddenly understood.

_Remember me?_ He had asked, in a language only me and he knew, since our simultaneous birth. I opened my mouth automatically, thoughts still swimming.

"_De tremi se sa." _I replied. Of course I do.

He smiled a bit wider.

"Len?" I whispered as if I didn't know.

But I did. He was exactly the same, yet different, like each wave in the ocean. His golden hair was pulled back, his sapphire eyes shone beneath bangs. His face, although thinner and more masculine, was like before. He was tall, taller than I, and he was dressed nicely. His smile and gentle look was what I recognized the most, from seeing it many times before. A look of love I had sorely missed.

"Hello, Rin." He said quietly. My legs trembled at the sound of his voice, but somehow they were able to move me. For suddenly I was no longer standing at the window, but rushed towards him, my arms around him, my face buried into his firm chest.

His arms came around me as well, but he stumbled back a few steps before regaining balance. He laughed, a warm sound that I felt resonate inside.

"Still small, but strong." He chuckled. At this, I felt my eyes blur, tears welling, throat closing. A sob escaped me, my tears overflowed.

I cried. He held me tight, rocking back and forth slightly to soothe.

"Don't cry Rin…it's ok." He whispered, which only made me cry harder.

All the loneliness, all my worries finally floated to the surface. All the sadness filled me, topped with relief so strong it continued to supply my eyes with tears.

But here he was, in my arms, holding me, here. I wouldn't be alone. I'd never let him go. He was the only thing I had ever wanted, and I was keeping him. For the feelings that surged now would surely disappear with him.

When I became calmer, a thought came to me. I straightened and pushed him away.

"I waited for you." I told him angrily. "You didn't come back." His look softened further, and he took a step closer.

"I know. But I was afraid… I had to make sure. If I came back too soon, they would…" he trailed off. He looked back at me, stepping closer, arms out. "I'm sorry, I-"

I pushed him again, angry. "No!" I shouted. My throat choked again. "No…" I managed. He wrapped his arms around me as mine dropped to my sides.

"I wanted to keep you safe, Rin." He whispered in my ear. I buried my head into his shoulder.

"Don't you know how much I missed you?" I whispered.

His arms tightened. "I missed you too, Rin. More than I can say."

I breathed in deeply, smelling his familiar scent. Although the pillow I had kept of his had long lost his smell, I was instantly taken back by its familiarity.

Len pulled back, but kept his hands on my waist. I held onto his arms, and looked up into his eyes.

"Don't cry. We won't be apart again." I nodded, my hands tightening as I leaned closer.

"Never." I replied fiercely. His smile faltered for a moment, and he slipped his hands back.

I too released him, despite the strong magnetism I felt, tugging my heart closer. I wiped my eyes with my flowing sleeve and laughed.

"How will we tell everyone? We will be so busy, for I'm sure your return will-" Len shook his head, interrupting me.

"Rin, I don't think that's a good idea. I think it would be safer if I really did work as a servant." I stepped closer, my skirts dragging against the rug.

"What? But why? And we would never see each other! I will never allow it!" I cried, flinging my hands down.

His eyes looked worried as he placed a hand on my cheek softly. I leaned into it automatically, closing my eyes for a brief moment. It had been a long time since anyone had touched me so affectionately.

"Shhh, calm, Rin." He soothed. "Listen to me." He noticed my skirt, trembling from my legs, which were still reeling from the shock. This wasn't exactly the excitement I had in mind.

He took my hand and sat me down on the window seat. I immediately moved closer, clutching his shirt with my small hands. He couldn't leave me. No.

He placed his hand on my wrists and leaned forward, brushing his lips on my forehead.

"Calm." He reminded me. I let my grasp weaken, but only enough so he could take one of my hands to hold in his. The rougher pad of his finger moved against mine in a comforting way.

"Listen." He repeated. "You are still not of age, Rin. We are only seventeen. Once you become queen, will it be safe. And if you want us to stay together, I could be a personal servant."

I inhaled and exhaled deeply. He looked out the window, out to the edge of the sea. "But… I couldn't wait any longer to see you. It had already been so long, and… I fear it's not safe for you." I leaned over to grab his attention. When his eyes met mind, I searched them.

"What do you mean? I am perfectly safe. Especially now…" I wanted to finish with _"because_ _you're here," _but my lips shook his head, bangs shifting.

"I don't know. People are angry out there, there are so many taxes and shortages."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?" I recalled the woman earlier, but it already seemed so distant in my mind. Surely it wasn't true.

Len frowned. "Rin, people are starving out there because the taxes are so high and there's not enough food to begin with." When I did not reply, he exclaimed: "How could you not know? It's all over the country!"

I pushed back his hand and stood. "Well I'm sorry I'm not perfect! I was a bit preoccupied, wondering if you were even alive! Besides, how am I supposed to know if no one tells me the truth?"

He stood. "Rin-"

"No one cares about me; no one will even tell me the truth!" I yelled. "I am alone, alone…" I knelt down to the carpet ion a puddle of dress fabric, suddenly reminded of the emptiness I had felt inside.

Hands grabbed mine, pulled them back gently. I looked up as Len knelt beside me, face full of concern.

"I'm sorry." he said quietly. "Please, forgive me." I nodded briefly as he pulled me up.

"I can't do it. I never could." I admitted. "It was always your path."

His fingers brushed my fallen bangs, tucking them behind my ear. He smiled.

"Your hair is still short." He noted. I nodded.

"Like yours." I answered. I gave a small laugh, albeit choked. "It made them so angry. A princess should have long hair."

Len tapped my nose. "Not this one." I scowled.

"Well I'm not much a princess anyways." Len sighed and looked at me. Suddenly, I grabbed onto him in a close embrace, feeling lost for a second, only being able to be reassured by his close presence. His hand came to gently rest on my back.

"You won't have to worry anymore, Rin. I'll protect you."

**A/N**

**Hey! I just wanted to thank everyone who's reading, cuz I know this part isn't very exciting~ But it soon will be! So thanks, and I'll see you next week!**


	4. Chapter 4

I couldn't help but delight a little in the amount of distaste others had for me "hiring" Len as my personal servant. Many ladies thought it scandalous, that a man be so close in waiting on me, and that I "hired him off the streets." A scandal from the start, I could tell. If only they knew.

I immediately had the quarters next to mine emptied and turned into a bedroom for Len. Despite the plainness it had due to Len's insistence, it was still comfortable. A door joined his room and my sitting room, making for easy, private access. It made me happy, so happy that he had returned, but sometimes I would notice him staring at me with a funny look I hadn't seen before.

That night I excitedly dismissed my ladies, eager to talk to Len. They left immediately, but with looks of confusion. I smiled as they left; sure they were shocked by my expressions and actions. But I could not keep them in, not with my beloved brother finally here.

Fitted into my nightdress, I fidgeted with the yellow ribbon and waited. Exasperated with waiting, I flung myself back onto my comforter and waited. I had not even let the ladies turn down the bedcovers or warm the sheets, so they were still smooth and cool. I shivered a bit, for it was way too early for fires, but I didn't want to get into bed.

As soon as a heard a noise from my right, I sat up and skipped to the door through my sitting room and bedroom. Once at the door, I knocked gingerly.

Although Len was now my personal servant, he had been taken away all day to be instructed with protocol and to be fitted for new garments at my instruction. I instead had to sit through meetings about treaties and legislation, meetings so boring I could have fallen asleep if it had not been for the thought of Len.

The door opened, and there he stood. How he had changed! Although it had been almost ten years, I was surprised every time I saw him. He was just so tall! Bigger in general, but at least not too much bigger. I could still rest my head on his shoulder, if the occasion ever came up…

He smiled. He was still dressed in his regular clothes, but his cuffs were unbuttoned and his cravat was loosened.

"Hello, sister." I smiled at that, and then blushed as he cocked his head.

"I'll leave you to change," I stammered. "Then you come in, Ok?" He nodded and I closed the door.

I trailed away from the door back to my bed. I fingered my nightgown nervously, but what was there to be nervous about?

My nightgown was very pretty, I admit. White linen made into such a garment, with short sleeves and a pink ribbon threaded through the top that I adjusted for growth. The overlaying skirt was sheer, with a strip of wide fine lace at the bottom. I had many like it.

I heard the door open behind me, and I turn. Len walks in, closing the door behind him. He too is in his nightshirt, with white knee breeches underneath. He still had his hair up though, which made me want to pull off the band so it wouldn't be.

Pushing myself off the edge of the bed, I ran up to him. I stopped short, suddenly feeling shy. I wanted to embrace him, but…

I settled for grabbing his hand.

"Come on!" I said, disrupting the odd silence. We sat on my bed, and peered into his face.

I really wanted to hug him. The urge was pretty damn strong, and I was finding it harder to repress it. The need to be held was sudden, and intense.

"Len…can I…?" I stopped myself. Why appear so weak? Len stared at me, waiting for me to finish. As I pondered how to finish, he let go of my hand.

"Wha-" He embraced me tightly, just as I had wished. Just as I had remembered, my brother read me all too well. I clutched him tightly and stared past his shoulder at the wall. I bit my lip, thinking.

When we finally parted, he grinned at me, but I couldn't wait. "Tell me all about it Len." I urged. It had been bothering me the whole day. What had he been doing? With who? Where? I burned with curiosity. Not to mention that this was quite the unexpected break from a long time of boredom.

Len smiled. His hand curled around mine, and I squeezed back.

"Well, it's a long story. I don't really want to keep you up, Rin." I frowned at him and grabbed his arm.

"Len. I have been here alone for years, worrying for my dearest twin, and you deny me this?" I said a bit dramatically. Len chuckled.

"Fine, but don't blame me when you cannot perform your royal duties tomorrow." I rolled my eyes, and nudged him to urge him on.

He leaned back against the bed pole, and started.

It had been a hard journey for him. He had ran for a long time, then hid in a pile of hay for about two days. After that, he stole a ride on a chicken cart that brought him over the nearby border into the smaller Green Country.

He lived there, working as an apprentice to a blacksmith, then from his master's brother, the art of sword fighting. He assured me that he had been taken care of, and had not suffered to hard, for they were kind people.

At 14, Len enrolled into school and studied for two more years, becoming quite knowledgeable. He admitted that was harder, for he was poorer than most, but he managed.

When he was 16, he bid farewell and ventured back into the Yellow Kingdom, exploring the land for a while before returning to the town by the sea, right outside the castle.

"I worked there for about two months before coming here, just to check out the local gossip and make sure it would be safe." He finished, staring out the window thoughtfully.

I had become tired and was leaning against him completely, my head on his shoulder.

"You needn't be so cautious…" I murmured. He glanced at me, and smiled.

"Looks like you're nodding off, Rilianne." He whispered playfully.

"Don't call me that." I whined. "And I'm not tired, Allen."

He chuckled. These were our formal names given at birth. Technically, Len was Allen IV, and I Rilianne II. But we had long had our nicknames, so that they were used throughout the entire palace. The formal ones were really only used on documents and announcements, and I detested mine.

"You should sleep, Rin."

"Maybe I don't want to." I mumbled.

He sighed, his eyes meeting mine. "Why are you so stubborn?" He remarked tiredly.

"Because I feel like it." I cursed myself for the less-than-clever retort. I felt myself being laid down as Len took a hold of me and covered me up. My arm flew out automatically, to grab his shirt.

"Rin?" He asked, surprise flickering in his eyes.

"Sleep with me?" I murmured tiredly, eyes barely open. I saw him smile, then fall.

"Not tonight, Rin." I frowned and tried to muster up some anger. Why was he rejecting me? But I was really too tired to make a fuss.

He took my hand and placed it back by my side. I closed my eyes as he smoothed a lock of hair from my forehead. I was drifting, trying to stay awake, but failing miserably.

"Goodnight, Rin…" Was there something else he said? Sleep was coming in waves, beckoning me, and I only felt his hands slip away before I did.

The light was irritating and sudden, much too bright. It made my mood turn sour instantly, and I could feel anger rising within me. And I hadn't even opened my damn eyes.

When I did, to see this light-perpetrator of mine, the one who dared wake me up in such a manner, I was left nearly breathless.

"Good morning, Rin."

I smiled, my mood lifted by singing birds and the feeling of fresh air that suddenly appeared in my mind. Len stood, tray in hand beside my bed. He must have been up ages ago, for he was dressed already. I smiled up at him and stretched.

"morning." I yawned, then held my arms out. Len carefully put down his tray on my bedside table before embracing me, letting me nuzzle in close for a brief moment. He sat down at my request, then handed me my tray, which was full of delicious breakfast foods.

"I hope you like it. You used to love all these things, remember?" I nodded, gazing at the delicious fare before me. I dug into the golden pastries first, delighting in the orange preserves that it was filled with.

Len smiled at me happily. "What?" I mumbled, with my mouth still full. Not very ladylike.

"I like seeing you happy." He said simply. I blushed and tried to brush the crumbs aside.

"Oh! Have you eaten?" I exclaimed suddenly. "Eat some." I urged. He shook his head.

"A servant never eats from his mistresses plate." He teased, standing. I frowned.

"But you're not really-" The door burst open with a few ladies in waiting, obviously not informed of Len's appointed occupation. They halted and stared at him obliviously. He bowed to them, but they still gaped. Finally, one of the most outspoken grasped at a few words.

"What are you doing in here? With the princess in her nightdress-"

"It's fine, I requested him to wake me up." I interrupted. "And I will not be needing your services in the morning. I will call for you when I need to get dressed."

They stammered their apologies as I turned a steel eye towards them.

"And I would highly suggest not entering my room without knocking first, as well as questioning my decisions." I ordered coldly. "Remember that the next time you decide to enter my presence. I stared at the stupid loudmouth girl the hardest. Why could I never get a moment alone?

They quickly took their leave, and Len turned to me, a peculiar look in his eyes.

"Sorry." I said brusquely, still angry from the interruption. I tossed my feet to the side of the bed, my beautiful breakfast forgotten. I didn't have the appetite for it anymore.

"Are you all right, Rin?" Len asked softly. I stood and turned to him, surprised.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

He blinked. "You just seem…different." I stared at him as he shook his head a bit, busily arranging the tray again.

Somehow, I felt bad. Like I had disappointed him. I wanted to ask, but something made me hold my tongue. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. There were so many things I wanted to say to Len, but I kept feeling… I don't know. It was incredibly frustrating.

He turned to me, and I saw something in his eyes that was carefully concealed.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat anymore?" he asked. I stared at him fixedly. He cocked an eyebrow as I stepped closer.

"Rin?" I stared closer, into those mysterious depths, trying to find what was hidden there. I stepped closer.

"Stop." Len took me by my shoulders and pushed me back a few steps. I blinked.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, startled. His face suddenly turned pink.

"You were too close." He stammered. Now I blushed. Had I been too close? This whole time, when I hugged him or sat next to him, had he thought I was too close?

Perhaps that's why he refused to stay with me last night. Maybe he was already tired of me. God, what had I done wrong? We were only siblings. Why was it wrong to want to be close to him?

It wasn't wrong to feel like this. It wasn't.

"If you're tired of me, then I won't bother you anymore!" I proclaimed.

Len looked taken back, and I looked away angrily, my hair swishing against my cheek.

He drew me into his chest tightly. I let my arms hang limply for a moment in defiance, but they could not stand it for long.

"I'm sorry Rin…Do not take it the wrong way." He mumbled into my ear.

I was confused. What did he mean? But he released me and I could not say anything, for he turned away.

"You better get dressed and ring for them." Len suggested as he moved back towards the door. I felt my heart sink.

"Am I so repulsive that you no longer want to be near me?" I blurted out.

He turned to me slowly. "Never. I will always want to be with you. And whatever you are, I will be the same. I will return as soon as you are finished."

I bit my tongue. Why was there always so much feeling in lens words?

Len was always one to never waste his breath, which really contributed to his more serious nature. His words were always filled with meaning or passion, never a careless remark. Unlike me, because when we were younger, I would always fly into a temper and say things I didn't mean. I still do.

But I often shrug of the guilt, because I get tired of shouldering it. I didn't know that from the moment Len returned to me, he was the one who would carry it instead.

I did as he requested, ringing for the intolerable ladies who dressed me. I noticed the one who had spoken out earlier was missing, and I was glad she had been taken care of. I hated people who objected me.

Once I was dressed, I instructed one of the girls to fetch Len for me, then dismissed the others. They fretted a bit at such a change of schedule, but soon left. I basked in the silence, for those ninnies brought chatter with them like a pack of birds. I tossed my head as I slid on my earrings.

Remembering Len's ring, I went to the bureau and retrieved it, but didn't put it on.

When Len arrived, I held it out to him.

"Fasten this for me, will you?" I asked him sweetly. He nodded and tied it as I lifted up my hair. Stepping away from him, I twirled slowly.

"What do you think?" I probed. He was watching me with a strange, amused expression.

"Lovely." He said quizzically. I tilted my head slightly and stared at him.

"Well, I think you look much prettier without such elaborateness." He said softly. Slowly, I smiled at him, then threw my arms around him. As I squeezed him, I felt him gently put his hands on my back, returning the gesture.

Soon though, he cleared his throat awkwardly, and I backed away, embarrassed. He held his hand out.

"Shall I escort you to the meeting hall, milady?" I giggled a bit at that.

"Of course." I said flippantly, feeling very floaty. Ever since Len had returned, I had very…light. Happy.

For days it was a happy time. They were really the same as before, more or less, but Len was by my side. I not only delighted in his presence but also the fact that I had someone to talk to, really talk to. At night, we spoke at lengths until I fell asleep. He always returned to his own bed.

It was simply wonderful not be alone. To have someone out there looking out for you, on your team. I trusted Len more than anyone else I had ever met. I felt safe, and he made me happy.

But still somethings disrupted my happy time. Protocols, seeing peasants, and meetings with the detestable council.

"Your highness, it is in your best interests!" the minister of commerce thundered.

"Absolutely not." I said coldly.

The minister of agriculture stood, pushing back his chair.

"How dare you defy the council? Of course it is not ideal, but this is what must be done! You cannot tax the people anymore, and we are out of options!"

I slowly turned my eyes to him, glaring.

"I would remember your place, Minister." I said, trying to control my anger. "And do not speak to me in such a tone."

He blanched, then sat, but yet another one looked towards me.

"Your highness, it is obvious that a lady such as yourself would not find this desirable, but you must consider the outcome." He said smoothly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Len, who had been standing by for the entire meeting, frown. He stood with a few other servants, in case something needed to be fetched, but I could tell he was listening intently. And watching me.

I smoothed my dress with this thought and turned my attention back to the minister. It was the minister of foreign affairs, a sly yet handsome man who seemed to be the quiet backbone of this preposterous suggestion. Gakupo was his name, I think.

He was easy to remember because of his long, silky, purple hair. He always tied it back and dressed quite elegantly. I assumed he was a bachelor, for when he was not travelling for foreign affairs, he was hanging around here. He had tried to win my favor a few years back, but I had rebuffed him quite easily. Perhaps too easily, for now he seemed like a snake in the grass.

He smiled. "If the lady was to marry, the treasury would be full once more. Money would be easily spent, people would be happy. Her highness' land would be expanded."

I scoffed behind my black lace fan. Their proposition was that I appeal to the Prince of the Blue country, Kaito, for his hand in marriage and the union of our countries. However, this was quite unpleasing. I cast a look at Len and wondered what he would think. To be married to someone was really strange in my mind, especially someone I had never met.

The whole thing was wrong. It would jeopardize Len's future, and despite solving the money problem, it would be such a bother to have to be linked with some man I had never even seen!

And the fact that these men were practically ordering me to do this, why the very thought of it made my blood boil. I was the one in charge here.

I laughed, but to anyone who knew me, it would be a warning sign. Why, I saw Len raise his eyebrows at the sound of it.

"You men think you're very clever." I purred. "Coming up with this plan, to solve all these problems."

They all shifted at my tone. Most had encountered it before.

"But perhaps you have forgotten your positions." I stood and fingered a shiny dinner knife that was at the table from my lunch.

"Perhaps you thought I wouldn't know that a marriage between to monarchs would instill the groom as head monarch."

I drifted around the corner of the table, coming to a picture of myself on the wall, one that was painted at age fifteen.

I turned to the group of men and clenched the knife in my hand. After a silent beat, a raised my hand and thrust the knife into the picture, burying it deep in my painted arm.

"This, gentlemen, is your leader!" I shouted. "Do not ever forget it!"

I looked out into the crowd and narrowed my eyes. "I could dissolve this little group at any moment. Strip you of your titles and send you to the gallows."

They all looked thoroughly shocked, with the exception of that smooth Gakupo. I licked my lips.

"All of you." I whispered, and with that, left.

Len trailed after me in silence as I sailed through the hallways, with many groups of ladies and lords milling about. When I had found my sitting room, I left my dignified air and threw myself down onto a plush couch.

"How dare they!" I cried furiously. "I am the princess!"

Len had quietly shut the door behind us, and was now pouring a cup of tea. He did not bother to give it to me, but rather sat it down on the polished table before me.

I glared at it, and then up at him, waiting for a response.

He quirked an eyebrow as he stood across from me. "Don't upset your tea, Rin." He said coolly.

His dismissal of my anger made me furious. I swiped my hand across the table, throwing the tea cup and saucer into the air until it crashed against the wall then down to the floor.

Len didn't move, and neither did I. My cheeks burned as I slowly realized what I had done. Immature, like a child wanting attention.

"If you didn't want it, you should have just said so." He noted after a long moment of silence. He dabbed at the stains with a cloth, kneeling to pick up the broken pieces of china.

"Wait, don't do that," I protested. "I'll get a servant to-"

"I am a servant." Len interjected coldly. I blushed more.

"I mean a real one." Len, having cleaned up the mess, stood and looked at me, hard.

"Rin." He said quietly. He sounded disappointed again.

I stood hesitantly. "Don't…Don't do that!" I cried out. He stopped and looked at me.

"Do what?"

My eyes filled with tears. "Don't be mad at me." I said. "Please."

His eyes widened as he took this in, and I covered my face with my hands as I cried.

Carefully, he took my hands in his. I looked up at him, startled. He kissed my fingertips gently.

"These hands aren't meant for throwing things."

With that, he put my hand down and brushed a lock of hair from my cheek.

"Sit." He instructed. I sat, and he looked me in the eyes.

"I know you're angry. But…" he trailed off, as if thinking, then started over. "You haven't really considered it."

I frowned. "Of course I have!" I blurted out. "I don't want to get married! I want-"

I left off there, embarrassed. _I want to be with you._ He's your brother!

"But if you were to be engaged, don't you think it would give you more freedom? And it would really help a lot of people, Rin."

I looked at Len, really looked at him.

"You really care about others, don't you?" I asked suddenly. His eyes held surprise, but he quickly concealed it.

"Of course I do I lived among others for years. The kindness I was paid I wish I could return."

He gazed out past the couch, out the window. I suddenly had a strong feeling of longing, longing to be out there in the world, to see so many others. To be free. I wondered if it was my own emotion, or Len's.

"I guess I should do what's best for others." I said in a small voice. I so desperately wanted Len to be proud of me, to smile at me. He returned his gaze to me and did smile, lifting my heart.

"I do care about this country and its people. But I care most about you, Rin."

I inhaled sharply, for it felt an arrow through my heart. But not one of pain, but of warmth.

"Do you mean it?" I pressed, breathlessly. "And why?"

He smiled widely and scratched his head nervously.

"Sure I do. You're…you're my own flesh and blood. My twin, my sister. I'll always take care of you." He cocked his head to the side slightly.

"I…" I wanted to say something else as equally meaningful back, but I couldn't think. Len stood.

"I better go tell them what to make you for dinner." Len said, walking towards the door. He hesitated and faced me once more. "Unless you require something else?"

"You do so many nice things for me, but I can never seem to return it." I told him. "What can I do? To thank you?"

Len chuckled. "Just smile. Be you, the sweet, happy girl you are. "I flushed as he turned to leave.

"And consider it, will you?" He called back as he left.

**A/N**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while! That's why this chapter is doubly long, to make up for it! I still think it's a bit boring, but the thing with Kaito will make things interesting!**

**I kinda like it when Rin's angry. It's kinda like a little kid throwing a fit. XD**

**Theres not a lot of twinny love yet, but there's good reasoning. I wonder if you guys can tell what it is yet~**

**Anyways, So I'll be updating soon, hope you all enjoy!**

**Anyways~**

**Hatsunemikuvocloid01~ Aw, thank you! Thats so sweet!I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I will!**

**Miharu1111~ Mine will have some sort of happy ending, they always do! And thank you! I promise to update soon!**

**Happiness Sunshine and Gum~ I always do too! But I appreciate you remembering this time ;D Means the world to me!**

**And thank you!**

**Breaking6883~ Im glad you enjoyed :) Hope it wasn't too cheesy XD**

**Guest~Thank you! I'm glad :)**

**Thank you all for reading, especially for reviewing, it means a lot! I'm glad someone enjoys it! XD**


	5. Chapter 5

I sat back down and did think about some things. I thought about Len.

Len was my brother. My twin. My other half.

I frowned. Ever since he had returned, things were different. I mean obviously, we were older, Len was posing as my servant, it had been a long time…but…

He acted different towards me. I remember his caring gestures and holding hands with him as normal behavior. Sure we were children, but I missed it.

It occurred to me that I acted different as well. I used to be with Len all the time, but I never felt like this. But this couldn't just be from growing up, right? Maybe my longing for him had become something…more.

I gripped a fold of my dress tightly and quickly stood. I removed my shoes and walked around and around the room as I thought.

"He's your brother." I announced to myself. I was startled by my own voice, ad stopped. The only sound came from the swinging pendulum of the grandfather clock in the corner.

I angrily started pacing again. So what if he was? What mattered the most, I decided, was if he felt the same way. Sure, my feelings could be strange, or naturally… wrong, but if he felt the same way back, would it matter as much? What use was it for both of us to be having these forbidden feelings and never acting on them? If you had the feelings, you had them. Just because I didn't act on them didn't make them good.

But let's think about this for a sec. If Len did love me back… it still wouldn't be accepted! How would this ever work out?

This was so frustrating.

Len came in suddenly, closing the door behind him. I looked at him in a new light.

He was very handsome. His hair shone, his smile luminesce. Through his bangs, his eyes shone out at me, like crystalized blue flames.

How could I not love him?

"Len." I said suddenly. I gestured him closer, and he came, silently.

I stared up at him hard, searching for some hidden emotion.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him.

Deadpan and automatic, he instantly replied: "You look very pretty today, but I like you better in yellow."

Surprised at what seemed like genuine honesty, I looked down. Today my dress was a fresh pink, one I hadn't particularly noticed today. Elbow length sleeves with them opening at the bottom to float around me, white trimmings as well as a light gauze fabric over the underskirt portion that showed. It was a nice dress, a bit too pink for my tastes, but sweet. I looked back at Len. He wore a faint look of amusement, a small smile playing at his lips.

Len didn't smile like that a lot. He always appeared pleasant, but I knew what his real smiles of happiness looked like. I wondered if I caused this one, or it was merely some thought he had.

The desire to know and understand his feelings was killing my impatient mind. I wanted to know now, but you simply can't come out with such things!

Brashly, I stood tall on my toes, leaned forward, and pressed my lips to his.

I know I was disrupting him mid thought, and that it was hardly more than a peck. But I felt something, and the flame I had recently discovered flared bright in that few seconds. As I pulled away, I examined his expression intensely.

He was shocked, his eyes wider, his lips slightly parted. They had felt soft, I thought, and put that away to think about later.

"You…" Len was at a loss, but what had he begun to say? You kissed me? Maybe…You too?

I licked my lips nervously and rubbed my thumb lightly against my fingers as we stared at each other. In a single moment, Len snapped back, his shock washed away, eyes guarded.

He leaned forward and barely brushed his lips against my cheek. Returning to his stiff position, he smiled a bit too wide.

"I'm glad I'm here too." He said quietly. "If you will excuse me…"

He left quickly, returning to his room without waiting for my response. After the door closed, I sank onto the couch.

He had interpreted it as a sisterly peck, a mere token of my gratitude? My face burned, I had never felt so foolish. He had barely even returned the gesture, he felt so awkward.

But if he had seen it as only that, why had he looked so shocked? For a moment, his eyes held something I didn't recognize. Could it be the same thing that burned in my mind? Did he perhaps think I was the one oblivious to his affections?

If it was, I just hadn't been forward enough! I had to show him my true feelings, so he could feel like he could reveal his! And if he hadn't realized his feelings yet, surely my forwardness would help him discover them.

But the ever present problem presented itself: we were twins. I could not foolishly throw myself at him all the time. Firstly, He would see easily through y act. I would have to be subtle. Secondly, I would be condemned if such a thing was public. Everything, even if he revealed his feelings, would have to be private. It would be easier if I was not a princess, even easier if he wasn't trying to hide his own identity. But such a web fate had made for us, I must fight through it.

My mind buzzed as a servant came to bring me to dinner. Len must have requested her, since he usually escorted me.

As I mindlessly ate the many types of food presented, I made plans. I had so many ideas, and there were so many barriers.

I picked around the china plate, dragging the tableware against the surface of its elegance. I did not care, such things were of little importance to me. I wondered if Len was angry at me, perhaps that's why he stayed away. Or embarrassed. Would he come to me tonight?

I pondered this as I got ready for bed. After the maids were dismissed, I waited for a few moments, alone.

I tired of this quickly, and made my way to the glass on the far side of the wall. I carefully placed a candle on the marble topped table beneath it, and stared into the mirror.

My cheeks were flushed, my hair mussed. I straightened it, and tried to breathe easily. I bit my lips gently, to draw color into them, and picking up the candlestick, made my way to Len's room.

I knocked gently, my stomach fluttering with nervous pricks. My whole body seemed tense and excited, and I tried to look relaxed as he opened the door.

"Rin?" His eyes were dark, face shadowed. I blushed.

"I…I wanted to talk to you." I said quietly. "I was lonely."

I stole a glance at him, but couldn't really read him.

"Of course, let me…"

"No!" I blurted as he tried to close the door behind himself. He stared at me.

"I mean, we can talk in your room." I said nervously. After a long beat, he reopened the door, holding it for me as I passed.

He took my candlestick as I looked around. He hadn't done much to it, there were little personal touches except for a few books and a very dried wreath of flowers.

"What's this?" I asked him curiously, touching the petals gently with my fingertip.

He cleared his throat. "Ah, well, you made that for me when we were younger, and I found it in my bag the night I left. I guess I had left it in there."

I smiled and turned back to him. "And you saved it." I concluded. He nodded somewhat embarrassingly, even though I had done a similar thing with his ring.

He sat on the bed as I strolled around, touching the books. They weren't dusty, and well used.

"And these?"

"Books my tutor gave me before I left, as a gift. One is of poems, another a novel." He smiled at me, a real smile. "Both beloved."

I sat down next to him, close enough so our arms touched lightly. "I can see that." I replied.

We sat in silence for a few moments before I reached for his hand. He stiffened, then relaxed.

I turned to him. "Why didn't you come?" I asked sadly. He looked down, running his tongue against his teeth noticeably.

"I wasn't feeling well."

"Oh." I could tell he was lying. He was a good liar to most, but bad to me. He always felt guiltiest if it was me.

I ran my thumb over his hand gently. "I was worried about you." I said gently. Even in the darkness, I could see his composure unraveling. He must like me. He must!

"I am fine, I was just…" I could tell he was torn. He didn't want to lie.

"May I sleep in here?" I asked abruptly, seeing his reluctance to finish.

He sputtered. "R-Rin… you're not afraid to sleep by yourself, a-are you?"

I had enjoyed seeming such loss of his mighty self-control, but this made me defensive. I was no child!

"Of course not!" I protested. "I just am worried about you!"

He laughed, and I glared at him, my lip already pouting from his tease. His face changed to one more tender, and he cupped my face gently.

"Whatever you wish." He said quietly.

Despite being the one who had felt in control moments ago, I felt myself blushing. His intensity was always so…much.

I let go of his hand and crawled away from him, to the other side of the bed. Putting myself under the covers, I patted the spot beside me.

"Come on, I'm cold." I instructed. He smiled and slid underneath.

Shyly, I watched him as he adjusted himself, lying on his back. His eyes stared off dreamily, giving me the chance to stare openly from my side.

Suddenly his eyes flicked to mine.

"Did you think about it?" he inquired unexpectedly. For a moment I was confused, and then realized I hadn't. I had been thinking of Len from the moment he had said that. Strange.

"Um, kind of." I tried. He closed his eyes and rolled onto his other side, away from me.

"Well, you should." He replied, a bit muffled. I sighed. My romantic plans, disrupted by thoughts of an impending marriage.

I nudged myself closer and closer until I leaned against his back. He jumped a bit as we came onto contact, so I swiftly closed my eyes. I could feel his eyes on me as he peered from his shoulder.

"Sorry…" I mumbled sleepily. "I'm cold." I kept my eyes shut and relaxed my body.

Len sighed, and I felt him sit up. He pulled the blankets closer, tucking them around me. I breathed evenly, trying not to blush. He was really sweet.

He laid back as before, drawing me to him. I continued to "sleep" until he fell asleep, his breathing even and slow. I cracked open an eye, and seeing him so out, put my little plan in action.

I crawled in very close and arranged his arms around me to cradle me, just as I had dreamed of since he returned. I leaned in close to him and closed my eyes, feeling very, very happy. Sinfully happy. But I was willing to pay that price.

I prayed he wouldn't move too much in his sleep and with my mind slowing, I fell asleep. In the morning, my plans would continue.

**A/N **

**Now things get a smidge bit more interesting. And just wait until Rin ACTUALLY thinks about the engagement idea. And more of her "plans" XD She's a tricky one, kind of oblivious in more than a few ways...**

**I hope you guys enjoyed! Any ideas, comments, mistakes, etc, just let me know! I just finished a summer class, so I'll be writing a bunch more now!**

**Anyways...**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ Yep :D I try XD Oh, I always respond! I love talking to everyone, and its the least I can do for reading and reviewing! It means so much to me TAT So thank you! **

**TheSapphireRose~ Hey! You commented on my last story, _Remember_, right? Good to see ya ;D Aww thanks / I will! Thank you again~**


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, I woke up in my own bed, just as Len was setting me down. Instantly my arms clutched at him tightly, my body becoming alert at the desertion.

"Len?" I mumbled. He paused and smiled.

"Good morning." He said courteously. "I was just about to go get your breakfast."

Now I smiled. He removed his arms from me, and just as he was about to turn away, paused. Turning back, he lightly laid a kiss upon my brow, and as he pulled away, I noticed a certain glint in his eye.

"Thank you." I called after him.

"For what?" He said lightly, not looking back.

I blinked. "For well…Letting me sleep with you." I licked my lips, struggling to sit up.

Turning to me, he gave a brilliant smile, slightly bowing his head. "It was my pleasure."

When he was gone, I basked in the warm, pleasant feeling he had left me with. Often left, actually. No wonder I loved him, no one else could make me feel so happy and…floaty.

But I must continue my plans. His words hung in my mind. Should I consider the proposal?

I didn't want to get married to a stranger, and no one could measure up to Len. I couldn't marry Len, even if he was posing as my servant. Such things aren't done. But even if Len did announce himself as who he really was, that would be even more taboo. I could never marry, but this would cause intense problems. We needed an heir to continue the line.

And the money problem! If I didn't marry, the money problem would continue to get worse. This was all so…frustrating! I didn't even understand the depth of the problem until Len told me! I could have solved it earlier if those bastards had told me.

I smoothed out my rich bedcovers, trying to imagine life as someone else. To be poor, starving. Without money, without title. What purpose did they have for themselves? For some reason, I could not see it. Perhaps I just didn't want to.

Ashamed, I cast those thoughts away.

If only there was a solution for all the problems. Wasn't there someone who could solve this for me? This was not a way to keep my warm, happy feelings.

Luckily, soon Len returned, and I ceased such thinking.

As I ate, I asked Len a few questions, slyly of course. If I told him the whole thing…well, then I'd have a whole new batch of issues.

"Len, Have you ever met the Prince?" I added casually into the conversation as we ate.

Len's lips quirked, hiding a smile. "So you've been thinking about it?" He assumed coolly.

I pouted. "Perhaps. It crossed my mind." I tossed my head, my hair swinging against my bare neck, tickling it. I smiled, hidden over here. That warm feeling was very enjoyable.

"No, I haven't. But the people near the border have, and they say he's wonderful, very kind." Len looked at me sideways. "Handsome too."

I blushed, and Len's face changed a bit, hardened. This was interesting, but he looked down at his plate to eat, hiding his expression.

"Hm. Like how handsome?" I pondered, eyeing his face intensly.

He looked up a bit. "Very. Blue hair, shorter than mine, light skin, tall, muscular. He's twenty-one." He sounded distant. "But this is just what I've heard." Len emphasized.

I smiled. Was he…jealous? I was thrilled, absolutely overjoyed. I tried to contain it.

"And, do you think he would make a good match for me?"

Len scowled, something that made me almost burst into happy, insane laughter. If only he knew.

"I don't know, never met him." Len mumbled. "But I also heard he wasn't interested in marrying, only his parents!"

This last part was interesting, useful. Even if Len did say it to discourage me. If it was true…

Len picked at his food, but I was lost in thought.

Kaito didn't want to get married, but I didn't either. Perhaps, we could marry, but only in name. I would be free to secretly be with Len, Kaito with whomever he wished. It was perfect! Council gets the money; I get the fancy marriage, and most importantly; Len.

Now it was all very clear. I had to get Len to announce his feelings, get Kaito to marry me, and somehow do it all soon. Time was running out for the money, and Kaito probably wouldn't be single for long, not with what I was hearing. He probably had women flocking to him.

"That's it!" I gasped loudly, upsetting my breakfast. Len quickly rushed to pick up after me as I sprang to my feet, still on the bed.

"Rin?" Len was obviously confused by my sudden upheaval. He looked up at me, precariously perched on my soft bed as I wiggled with excitement.

"Len! Fetch the ladies immediately! I have much to do!" I exclaimed, jumping off my bed.

Len stared after me, at a complete loss for words. It was to be expected, for I had always been dour and grumpy when it came to my duties. This was quite a change from reluctant and lazy.

But there was hardly time to contain my enthusiasm. I ran to my wardrobe and opened it, pulling out multiple dresses, trying to find a suitable one. Len carefully went to the door, and called a nearby maid to fetch the ladies so I could get dressed. As I tore through them, he then hesitantly began to pick up the breakfast mess.

"Len, call the dressmaker. We both will need new outfits. Also find out how much is in the treasury." I babbled. I suddenly paused, my mind flying.

Len stood nearby, tray in hand, watching me silently.

"Oh! And remind me when the next meeting with the Council of Ministers is." I began brushing my own hair. I wouldn't humor the ladies today with their traditions; I could brush my own hair.

"Two days." He said quietly. I turned to him, setting down the heavy brush. It was silver with inlaid mother-of-pearl.

"Len." I rushed to him, placing my hand over his. "Don't worry, I have everything under control." I leaned forward and kissed his nose, ignoring the shocked look.

"All our problems will be solved!" I cried gleefully, spinning happily so my nightgown flared out at the bottom. Seeing how confused he was, I reached out to place my palm on his cheek.

"I'll tell you later, at bedtime." I whispered. He nodded, and I had just turned away when the ladies and waiting burst in. Some were in disarray, for I usually spent more time with Len before calling them.

Len left quickly, breakfast try in hand. As he left, I took a small moment to admire him, composed now even in the confusion. He handled the tray like an expert, not a silver spoon sliding off as he swept it away. But then the door closed, and I turned to get dressed.

I picked my own gown today, a yellow one with a cream underskirt and lace trimmings. The sleeves were tight to my elbows today, with a lower neck than usual. The underskirt was embroidered with gold thread in the form of roses, shining unexpectedly when the light caught it. A gold chain with a diamond pendant finished my look, and as usual, I left my hair down.

As I was getting laced up, a girl called Claire shyly caught my attention.

"Princess," she began hesitantly. My eyes flew to her.

She was a year older than me, with very light blond hair and warm brown eyes. She was a pleasant girl, exceptional at embroidery. Not as chatty as most, which is why I was intrigued by her words.

"Yes?" I replied. She swallowed and smiled weakly.

"I though you should know…" she bit her lip and glanced away, towards the others.

"I thought you should know about Marie." She finished, quieter this time. I raised an eyebrow.

"Who?" I answered quizzically. Claire blushed.

"She was a previous lady in waiting; she was dismissed a few weeks ago." Claire tried. "Outgoing, brown hair, purple necklace?"

Ah, the loud one. She had been dismissed right after Len had arrived, and I had not seen or heard of her since, good riddance.

"What about her?" I stated disagreeably.

Claire fiddled with my hair. "She left when dismissed, and I heard she was spreading rumors about you, of ill will." Claire dropped her hands and backed away respectably. "I thought you should know." She murmured.

This was unfortunate and angering, but not too alarming. Who would listen to one girl? I dismissed the worry, but smiled assuredly at Claire.

"Thank you Claire, it is very appreciated." I told her. She lit up, the fear melting away.

"If there's anything you ever need, don't be afraid to ask me." I urged her. She was a sweet girl, why not be kind? She had certainly done me a service, something the wretched others hadn't.

This aside, I was very excited, and had many things to do. Dismissing the ladies, I sat down to do my usual work, reviewing new laws and taxes. I did this quickly, not procrastinating as usual, so much that when Len returned with the dressmaker I was finished.

"Ah, Madame Lounier." I said pleasantly. "I am so glad you are here."

Madame Lounier was a middle aged woman, but of great style. She made it her business to know every fashion in every country, and was not only fashionable but incredible an incredibly talented seamstress. However, I did not usually call her except for her usual calls every new season.

Today she was dressed impeccably as usual. A short, curvy woman with dark brown hair, swept elaborately up in a jumble of perfect curls with the ends trailing down her back. Her hair was always as beautiful as her clothes, but I think she dyed her hair for there were occasionally brown streaks on her neck and smudges at her eyebrows. Otherwise, she was the face of fashion. Her waist looked slim due to the thin triangle of her front's ribbon lacing, and her lavender blue skirts were wide. Surprisingly, they were also shorter than usual, revealing the deeper underskirts elaborate fringe trim. A new trend, I suspected.

She removed her large hat and handed it to Len, who took it solemnly. It was well trimmed with feathers, not fruit as it had been last time. Regardless, it was huge in Len's hands as he peeked over the plumes, and if I had not been expecting such spectacles I would have had to stifle laughter.

She smiled at me before walking over, and I braced myself. Brashly, she began feeling my waist with her hands.

"Too thin, still. Aren't you eating?" she scolded. "You must be proportionate, Princess! Thin is as thin does, but curves are a wonderful thing for a girl your age!"

I flushed at her familiarity and scolds. Len didn't smile, but I knew he was holding them back.

"Ah, yes." I stammered. "I shall keep that in mind." She nodded firmly, satisfied, and then sat in the plush chair in front of my desk, waiting to hear my reason for her call.

I came and leaned against my desk, facing her. She was an old acquaintance, and absolutely harmless, so I didn't have to be as formal as I would with most.

"I need a magnificent dress." I began. "I am trying to catch a prince. Prince Kaito."

She nodded and took out her sketchbook immediately. I knew she would keep this private, so I didn't even bother to remind her of secrecy. She was a pro.

"A ball gown. I need to outshine any others." She nodded, hastily sketching.

"I'm thinking… Pink." I continued, vaguely recalling a pink dress some pretty girl had worn at a dinner a few weeks ago.

"Princess," Len interrupted. "Do you remember what I said yesterday?"

I frowned. We had spoken about many things. About dresses? Len looked pointedly at my dress I was wearing. I looked down at the yellow fabric, confused.

Ah! He had said yellow; he had liked me in yellow!

"Scratch the color." I told Madame. "Make it…Gold. But not gaudy."

She nodded, then paused. "Would silver lace be too much?" she commented.

"Yes." I decided. "We want it elegant, but with a certain subtly." I am a princess, not just some commoner!

I knew that needn't give her further instruction, she could take it from there. She had excellent taste, and I had great faith in her.

"I will also need suitable clothes for my personal servant, Len." I instructed. "He's new, and sorely in need of clothes."

She stood, flipping briskly to a fresh page. "Ah, Yes, we met earlier." She proclaimed. She circled him like a hawk, and color rushed to his cheeks.

I smiled, amused while I leaned against my desk. I crossed my arms and watched as she drew. Len stood stock still, arms pressed against his sides. He appeared a very stiff board.

"I will need your measurements." She told him briskly. He nodded, and then looked at me.

"Perhaps after lunch?" he suggested smoothly. She nodded.

"The sooner the better!" She announced, closing the book with a snap. I smiled, everything was going to plan.

As we walked to the dining room, she walked with me.

"So, you will be having a ball?" She inquired coyly. I nodded.

"You will be invited, of course." I said politely. She smiled.

"I assume it hasn't been announced yet. All the girls will want new gowns. I suppose I will be in quite a state." She smiled happily, for I knew she loved to be busy.

"Yes, but you will make mine the best, yes?" I pressed. I had to get Kaito. And Len while I was at it.

"Of course, Princess."

Len had been walking ahead of us, so I assumed he hadn't heard, but as he held the door for us as we entered the hall, he discreetly gave me a look. I defiantly had some explaining to do.

**A/N**

**kind of frustrating to have to split this and the next cha[ter up, because they just go together but...If I didn't it's be waayyy to much! So I guess I'll post the next cha[ter in a few days instead of waiting a whole week of whatever. It's got lots of RinxLen so everyone gear up XD Plus, Rin's plans will totally come to light! She's not that mysterious though XD**

**It's finally coming together, but theres still so much of the story to be written TAT I try not to think about it XD But don't worry, I won't rest until this story is finished! The tail end of this story is what makes it the best part...**

**Anyways...**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~**

**You're not an idiot! I promise XD I love twincest too, or else I wouldn't always be writing these stories, right? XD o.o That does sound a little perverted. Oh well! XD And I liked your review, for the record~**

**Guest~**

**Aw thank you! that's so kind of you TAT**

**Ah, I know your pain, I do. Some stories make me wonder about how well some people are educated XD Or they just make me want to spellcheck things, really, REALLY badly. Thats sounds so mean...But I agree... There are some really good writers for Kagamine fanfics, don't get me wrong...Then some other ones XD So I know exactly what you're talking about! I just always remind myself that everybody starts somewhere!**

**Aw thank you! I hope it doesn't get too mushy... I love writing things like that XD Ah the proposal! Rin has quite an interesting take... She's got so many plans, crazy girl! **

**Trust me, Len is NOT happy about any of that, as you can see XD He's got a good jealous streak! He's a bit better at hiding his emotions though...**

**I love long reviews, and definetly this one! Thank you~**

**TheSapphireRose~ **

**I thought so! I try to remember XD Oh yay! One more converted to twincest and I get a free toaster XD Nah, just kidding. But I'm glad you like! I know it's not for everyone, but I'm glad you enjoy it! Another chapter will be up in a few days!**

**Exorcist-Dono~**

** Thank you! Aw, thank you again TAT I'm glad you liked them! I'm always worried about how others are going to perceive it, thinking maybe it's too cheesy or mushy or something XD And trust me, it gets twistier XD**

**Valkyrievampire888~**

**Aw thank you! I'm so glad you like! He will, trust me!**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, guys... They really inspired me! That's probably why I wrote so much XD Anyways, expect a quick update! I'm super excited to write more now that things have gotten more... interesting :D Thank you for reading, favoriting, reviewing, anything! It's very appreciated! See you all soon~**


	7. Chapter 7

That night, it was Len who was waiting for me. I came in late and had my ladies help me change, so when I knocked on his door he was already waiting for me.

"Rin." He said as soon as he opened the door. He looked tense as he walked past me.

As he approached the doorway of the parlor, he turned to me.

"Are you coming?" he said irritably. I smiled to myself and nodded, skipping to catch up with him.

As we walked together, he unexpectedly slid his hand into mine. I tried to calm myself without looking at him; I just went on pretending I had hardly noticed.

We sat on my bed, and he looked to me, still holding my hand tight.

"Are you going to tell me what this…plan of yours is?" He asked tightly. I nodded, trying to read further into his strange demeanor.

I scooted closer to him, shifting my body so I almost completely faced him. He looked down at our hands, silent and waiting.

I inhaled deeply. "I'm having a ball." I announced. "Kaito will come, and I will speak to him and get him to marry me."

For a moment, Len was rigid, his hand a death grip. But the moment was gone as fast as it came, hardly noticeable. If it wasn't Len, I would have thought he had merely squeezed my hand.

Len was good at being quiet, though. He said nothing to this, and his face was smooth even though he kept his head bowed.

I ran my tongue against my teeth. This kind of silence from him made me nervous.

"It will solve a lot of problems." I told him softly, wishing I could tell him _all_ the problems it solved. "We can lower the taxes, and since I have the bigger land and am the sole ruler here, I can live here."

Len inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"Excited at getting married, little sister?" He asked me dryly. I bit my lip.

"Not really." I told him. "I don't really want to marry him. In fact, I was hoping that he liked someone else, like you said…So our marriage would be one of convenience, with certain…liberties."

Len looked at me, full on. His eyes bored into mine, so intense and sharply blue that I inhaled and straightened my back at such a gaze.

After a moment, I smiled, lifting my free hand to smooth back a piece of his hair. His bangs were always blocking his serious eyes.

"Len, you'll always be the most important man in my life anyways." I stared into his eyes now, praying he understood.

_Come on Len, understand. I love you. _He removed his eyes from mine and scratched his head absentmindedly.

"Well, don't worry." He babbled awkwardly. "Big brother will always be here to protect you."

I sighed. Was he just dense or deliberately avoiding my feelings? Or was he really just that shy?

I grabbed his other hand, forcing him to turn back to me.

"Len." I snapped, and then bit my tongue. I just was running out of patience.

"I love you." I announced loudly, despite the embarrassment that crept forward into my cheeks.

He turned pale, but smiled weakly. "I love you too." He replied, obviously not in the same way.

I leaned closer, narrowing my eyes. Was I really going to have to spell it out for him?

"No." I exclaimed. "I _love_ you." Len suddenly looked panicked and dropped my hands.

"No, you don't." he stammered. I grabbed his hands again.

"Yes, I do!"

He flung my hands down and began to turn red, just as flushed as I was. He quickly stood.

"No Rin, You don't. You're confused!"

I hopped up and grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to look at me.

"Yes I do! I love you!" I screeched.

Both of us froze, because I had been very loud, enough to startle a maid. After a tense, silent moment of listening, I sunk back, drawing my hands to my chest.

"Don't you love me too?" I whispered. Maybe I had been wrong. I averted my eyes. He had looked so angry. I was foolish, silly. In love with your brother, believing he loved you in return… I bit my lip, but I tear escaped and slid down my cheek. My shame for the whole world to see.

Suddenly, he grabbed me, both hugging me to him and pushing my back up against the bedframe. His face only an inch from mine, he whispered:

"Of course I love you. I've loved you…for who knows how long. But you, a beautiful, precious flower… How can I soil your white petals with my feelings that are…wrong?"

I breathed in small pants, shocked by all this. He held me gently, but I shook with emotion as it overtook me.

"But…I love you too." I breathed. "Can't we be wrong…together?"

He leaned his forehead against mine, shutting his eyes briefly. He appeared to be in pain.

"It's my fault, Rin…Somehow you must have gotten this from me….I tried to keep them from you, keep my distance… I'm sorry."

Of course. So he had known all along. He didn't need to realize his feelings; he was holding them from me. Because he thought it was wrong. He really was the best brother.

"Don't be." I told him. "I didn't catch anything from you. They're my feelings. So… please…."

He opened his eyes and looked at me in a different way. His whole posture radiated tensely. Then carefully, our lips closed the suffocating space between us.

Everything erupted in white as his lips moved against mine, pressing, coaxing. I couldn't breathe even if I had wanted it. The flame in my chest erupted into a huge open flame, putting my whole body on fire. I wanted him, to be close to him, I hated everything else in the whole world. It didn't even exist. Every portion of my body lacked something, and it begged for his touch, the only thing that could douse such a fire.

His hands pressed my back to him; my hands went up into his neck, his hair as I pressed him closer. I felt my head against the bedframe but didn't care; I wasn't even sure how long it had been.

Finally, we parted, my lungs on fire from lack of air. I breathed it in hurriedly, but felt to hazy to care about such a trivial thing.

Len's eyes were on fire, and I wondered if mine were too. I had never kissed anyone before, so I wondered if it always felt so…perfect. Like you had been waiting your whole life to find that other half of you, and finally I had gotten a taste of what it was like to be whole.

He cupped my face, kissing me lightly again and again.

"Len…" I mumbled, caging my arms closer and tighter.

"Hm?" His lips moved to my neck.

"Don't…ever leave me…" I begged. Any moment without him, I could not imagine. I wasn't even sure how I would get dressed in the morning.

"Never." He vowed. He traveled back up, but didn't kiss me again. He simply looked at me, like he was taking me in.

"What?" I asked softly. He smiled, a perfect, real smile before clutching me close, my face suddenly meeting his shoulder blade.

"Mine." Len murmured. "I can't believe…" I pressed my face into his neck as I felt tears forming.

This was what it was like to feel real, true love. How…attached I felt, like any emotion he had I shared, and vice versa. My heart ached for the loss of time, all the time we had been apart, for every moment I had not felt like this.

I wanted to take him in, wanted him to hold me like this forever. No words would ever have to be said. I just knew. I would never lie to him; I could never see him hurt. I felt jealousy without a cause; I felt care like I never had. He was…my heart and soul, and I loved him.

Len seemed as overtaken as I was, if not more. He had held his feelings for longer, I suppose, and the holding back must have killed him. Just a fraction of this longing despite the fact that he was right here was enough to make me cry.

I pulled back a bit and stroked his cheek. "I'm sorry." I told him. He smiled again.

"Don't ever be." He stressed. "You're perfect."

I flushed. The way Len saw me was like no one else; the way he touched me and listened to me was like no one else.

"Len." I said in a small voice, looking down at my lap. Len took my hands in his slightly larger ones.

"Yes?"

"I wanted to marry Kaito so I could still have a relationship with you." I admitted.

Len smiled, and gave a funny sort of laugh. "You have no idea how happy I am right now." He exclaimed. I was enthralled with such loud emotions from Len; I liked them much better than the silent, mysterious Len.

"I do know" I argued. And then, in a quieter voice; "I'm sorry I made you jealous."

He smiled again, more smiley than I had seen in years. "I was very, very jealous."

I smiled smugly at this. I was Len's, and he was mine. The thought of this tickled my stomach with happy butterflies, making me laugh. I felt absolutely light headed with such happiness.

Len laughed too. "Why are you laughing?" he asked, and I leaned my forehead against his.

"Because I'm happy." I stated simply. He made me so happy. How could I ever feel unhappy?

His lips turned up, and he rolled his shoulders to release tension.

"Hey, Rin."

"Yeah?" I answered.

Another smile. "Promise me something."

I breathed out. "Anything."

He leaned forward, his lips brushing my ear. I waited with baited breath, feeling the warmth of his breath against my skin.

"Promise you won't kick me in your sleep anymore."

I turned pink immediately, and pushed him away. He laughed almost hysterically, covering his mouth with his hand to try and control himself. I crossed my arms and turn away, embarrassed.

He saw my face and stopped laughing, reaching out for me.

"Aw, Rinny." I pouted and rebuked him. He still smiled and sidled up to me, laying his lips against my cheek.

"You know I was just teasing you."

I felt his fingers creeping up to my sides, and I suddenly convulsed, dissolving into giggles as he mercilessly tickled me.

"Len! Stop!" I gasped, trying to roll away on the cream sheets.

"Not until you tell me you love me." He said calmly, but I saw his wicked grin.

I didn't want to give in, but I could barely breathe, so I surrendered. "I love you! I love you!" I shouted.

He halted, and I breathed easy for a moment, relieved. He chuckled lowly and scooped me up easily. I tried to catch my breath and let him. It was nice to see him so relaxed and…happy. He was as lightheaded as I was.

"You ruined our serious moment." I scolded. This didn't seem to bother him, so I straightened and brought my face close to his, our noses touching lightly. He inhaled sharply as he saw my mischievous face.

"What are you going to do to make it up to me…?" I cooed, kissing the edge of his mouth to tease him.

"Hm…How about this?" Len pondered, and pressed his lips to mine, immediately creating the feverish heat I so desired.

I gasped for air when we parted and laid my head on his shoulder.

"I forgive you. For now." I decided. He snickered quietly and lay down, bringing me with him. We landed among the down filled pillows with a thump, and I blinked, surprised.

I looked to him, and his eyes were closed. I popped up, leaning over him.

"No sleep!" I ordered. He groaned and opened an eye.

"Come on, we'll have many more nights." He promised. I thought about this.

"You're sleepy too, Princess. Now let's get in a few hours before daylight, ok?"

Although I disliked such sensibility when I felt so giddy, I had to admit I was tired. And there was still so much to do! I sighed and lay down in his arms, and listened to his easy, steady breathing.

I hoped it would always be like this, forever.

**A/N**

**I liked writing this chapter XD The mushy stuff is always my favorite, but I try not to make everything too fluffy TAT**

**Anyways, Rin has revealed that she is having a ball to win Kaito over! And has her secret romance with Len owo The ball will be quite an event, I assure you~ **

**So I hope you guys like this! Tell me what you liked, didn't, what you think's gonna happen, etc! I like to hear predictions, it's so fun!**

**Anyways~**

**Guest(Cookie)~**

**Yup! I always reply! The least I can do for such kind words!**

**Heehee I enjoy being a fangirl XD You should! It's a bunch of fun, even if you don't post anything!**

**Aw thank you / Youre so sweet TAT So thank you, really.**

**Ehehe I looovee a jealous Len 8D He's cute like that~**

**Ah, Rin will ahve a kink in her plan, but it will come farther down the line... A big problem, but nothing for the Kagamines, eh? I swear, this is probably the most drama filled story I've done so far XD**

**Thank you again /**

**Oh no! I didnt mean to imply that, I'm sorry TAT I didn't think you were flaming at all! I was just trying not to insult anyone TAT I completely agreed with you, and I thought you put it rather nicely! I apologize!**

**Anyways, thanks for the review~ I hope you like this chapter as well!**

**Valkyrievampire888~**

**No problem! I love talking to you guys! It really makes my day ^-^**

**Heehee I'll try to keep them long, cuz I like reading long chapters too! Rin's plan has gone well...so far!**

**Thank you!**

**Thanks to everyone for reading and stuff! I really appreciate it, and hope not to disappoint you!**


	8. Chapter 8

It was different after that night.

Nothing really changed. Len was till the perfect servant, composed, diligent. I was still a princess, attending to my duties the best I could.

But everything was different.

I could feel his eyes on me, and it burned me, happy warmth that made me smile and sit taller.

As I ate, as I circled the gardens during my riding lessons, I felt those eyes of his, watching me. They devoured me happily, watched over me possessively. And burned with the fiercest love that I could feel to my toes.

I watched him too, when he was not aware. Watched him speak to the maids, watched him lay down the plate in front of me. The way his fingers handled things. The way he smiled gently, so kind to anyone. I was often jealous for little to no reason, only reassured by the thought that he was really mine. It was distracting in the most pleasant way.

My thoughts hardly strayed from him. When he was absent, I wondered what he was doing, who he was with, what he was thinking of. When he was present I wondered what he thought of. I thought of him when deciding what to wear, how to do my hair. I planned my days around small moments of privacy we could share, even if it was just to drop the act for only a few moments.

It was even more different when we were alone. We acted different, talked different, even moved different. Did different things.

Of course we still spoke, at great lengths, but no longer about the past or about the day's events. It was about each other, the future, our likes and dislikes. We laughed; delicious moments that made my heart flutter and made me feel light. He told me things I had never seen, describing each one like a great painting, each experience. So we could share it, he said. I told him things I had never told others, even told him of my jealousy. He revealed he had that too, and dismissed it as us "Both being protective creatures." How I loved him.

He enjoyed my embarrassed reactions to his compliments, and even further enjoyed it when I got mad at his teasing. He knew I would never stay so for long, but always apologized profusely.

Meanwhile, preparations for the ball were well underway. The invitations had been dispersed; the ball had been formally announced. Madame was fully occupied with orders from every end of the country. Extra staff was being recruited, decorations were being designed, and the whole castle was abuzz.

Claire confided to me that rumors of why the ball was being held occupied most of the courts time. And then a special letter came.

Sealed with a royal insignia stamped in rich blue wax, the thick cream paper was immediately brought to me; perfect and unopened.

"Your Highness! From the blue country." A page gave it to me carefully, and I took it just as gently. Grabbing the gold and ruby encrusted letter opener on my desk, I slid it delicately through the wax seal. A few of my ladies who had been loitering in my office inhaled with anticipation. I opened it carefully with my perfectly shaped fingernails and scanned it.

_The High Prince Kaito III would like to graciously accept your invitation_

_for the Yellow Country's ball. The prince and his attendants shall arrive_

_On time for the ball and stay until reasonable departure._

I smiled and placed the acceptance gingerly down. I folded my hands and looked to my little audience.

"It seems that Prince Kaito has accepted an invitation to the ball." I said casually. The ladies squealed excitedly, and the page beamed. I tried my best not to smile smugly, but I caught Len's eye.

His smoldering glance warmed me, and I smiled secretly at him. He gave me a subtle look in return; one I knew held both jealousy and pleasure at the letter. He turned away then, and I folded the letter back up, revealing in my own cleverness.

Later on, I had a fitting for my dress. It was mostly just folds and folds of beautiful gold fabric, brought from a faraway nation, the Green Country. Madame fluttered around in my parlor like a fast ant, pinning and measuring and adjusting. As usual, she left scraps of fabric and thread everywhere, and her arrival upset the staff as usual. She demanded constant drinks of lemon and strawberry, and directed many maids to fetch her things.

I didn't exactly enjoy this fuss, but it was entertaining to watch. She tried once to ask Len for something, but I cut her off immediately, telling her that Len stayed with me.

She only nodded, but I saw a familiar gleam in her eye. I tried to keep my mouth from pursing into a little frown, but it really did worry me that Madame was so perceptive. Len also noted it, giving me a warning look when her back was turned.

I didn't worry too much about it. My dress was coming along smoothly despite other orders, and everything was going swimmingly.

So swimmingly that I took a day off, to the insistence of Len.

It all started one night. I had fallen asleep while we were talking, and woke up moments later to discover Len upset.

"Rin, go to sleep." He ordered with a troubled expression.

I lifted my hand up to caress his cheek. "I'm sorry I was listening, really!"

He sighed and kissed my hand tenderly. "You are running yourself ragged with the ball stuff. Sleep."

I opened my mouth to retort, but I looked closer at Len. He seemed paler, and I saw that the circles that had appeared under my eyes had appeared under his as well. He had worked harder than me; he must be exhausted as well.

I traced the bruised skin, and he turned away.

"Len…" I whispered. "I'm sorry." I was ashamed of myself. Len had run himself ragged as well.

"Don't worry about me." Len said, ever self-sacrificing. "Just sleep." He smiled sweetly at me, but I frowned.

"I'm sorry." I repeated, lying back on my pillows with a thump. I sighed and stared up at the canopy.

"I wish things were as easy as they used to be." I whispered. Len lay down beside me and took my hand, staring up as I did.

I turned my head to look at him.

"Do you remember going to the beach?" I asked him. He turned his head and nodded.

"Yes…" he said quietly with a slow smile. "It was wonderful."

I rolled over to slip into his embrace, laying my head on his firm chest. I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted and relaxed at his touch and the memory of the slow crashing waves.

"Rin." Len said suddenly. I opened my eyes again.

"Hm?"

He sat up, upsetting my using him as a pillow. Sitting up as well, I stared at him, his face suddenly alight.

"Let's go to the beach."

I blinked, and then laughed. "Don't you think it's a little late for that?" I teased.

His lips held a little smile, ignoring my tease.

"On a trip, for a day. A day off." He explained.

I smiled, reaching out for him so he could hold me close like I loved. Suddenly my heart was light, free of constraints and worries.

"A day off… do you think I could?" I asked breathlessly.

He nodded. "They can manage without you for a day. You can rest, we can go together."

I smiled wider and gave a little squeal. "Oh Len! It's perfect!"

His arms gripped me tighter, kissing my head lightly. "I can't wait." He admitted.

I glanced up at him, and he kissed me. I was shocked at his intensity, and felt a small flame of hope fly in my chest.

For you see, Len was a gentleman. Ever since we had first kissed that night, every night was an adventure of its own.

We always kissed. He held me, his hands gently caressing my skin like it was a butterfly's wing. He liked to look at me, just stare as if he had never seen me before. Sometimes, he was playful, but more often serious. Examining my fingers as if he was to paint them; kissing each fingertip tenderly.

But he was always the one to stop us from going too far. Even as I continued to press on, vying for his lips, his touch, he would gently stop me. His hands would halt on my leg, his lips on my shoulder, always withdrawing himself hastily as if burned. He was a gentleman, and it frustrated me.

"Len, why do you always stop?" I frustratedly asked him one night. I had been busy all day and was cross, wanting his attention, his love more than usual.

He eyed me as he tied his hair back again, mussed from a passionate kiss. "Because." He answered.

I nudged him with my foot. "Why?" I pressed. He grimaced.

"Because I don't want to go too far." He stated carefully. I frowned, feeling distaste in this.

I licked my lips nervously. "What would be so bad about that?"

His eyes regarded me seriously. I forced myself not to toy with my nightgown, but my stomach began doing flips. We had never had a conversation like this before.

"Rin…" Len sighed, fighting some inner battle. "We can't."

Crushed, I turned away from him. "Oh." I said shortly. Perhaps he thought because we were twins… Or because I wasn't pretty enough…

He sighed again, and reached out to me, drawing me into his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, cheeks burning.

"Rin. I love you very, very much." He started, his fingers lightly grazing my arm. "But we are young, and if we did… I don't want to endanger you. What if your plan with Kaito doesn't work?"

I closed my eyes, pressing my head against him. He was always so solid.

"Len, it would be ok."

He frowned. "Rin, if the man you married discovered you weren't a virgin, it would be disastrous, and your life could be in danger."

I knew this, but I honestly could not imagine being with anyone but Len. The thought scared me, despite the fact that practically every royal marriage was arranged. You were lucky if you got someone your own age that you had met before.

"But…" I didn't have a lot to say to win this argument, but I at least wanted to try.

I looked down and grabbed his hand, examining it. "But don't… You want to?" I asked innocently.

He was silent, but began to shake. When I looked up, he was laughing silently.

"What?" I scowled. He calmed himself and kissed me lightly.

"If you don't know the answer to that, you must not be paying attention." Len stated smoothly.

Embarrassed by this whole conversation, I turned my head into his shoulder and playfully bit him.

He jumped at the bite, and then caressed my hair lightly.

"You can bite, but I'm not going to give in." he teased. I let go, smiling.

"Well, what if I do this." I said slyly, turning myself to face him, wrapping my legs around him. He smiled, confident as he placed his hands on my waist to steady me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and leaned forward, kissing his cheek.

He smiled wider. "Mm, I don't think so." I smiled determinedly and kissed his lips, short but firmly.

He placed his forehead to mine. "Nope." He whispered.

"Hm." I pondered. I moved my hands down, caressing his firm chest through his shirt.

"Are you sure?" I asked him again, just before kissing him deeply, pressing myself closer and closer. After I leaned back, I glanced at him shyly.

"Well…" he moved his hands up then down, sending shivers up my spine. He leaned in, and I felt myself become hopeful.

Then I noted the playful look in his eye. "No." he announced.

I huffed and gave him a little push with my palms. He laughed and barely moved, so I climbed off him and laid down, glaring at the wall.

"Aw, Rin…" He lay down with me, sliding his arm around me and pressing himself against my back. "Don't be angry." He murmured.

"I can be if I want to." I proclaimed. He sighed.

He moved his lips to my ear, pushing aside my hair.

"Maybe." He whispered.

I jumped a bit at his warm breath against my ear and flipped over to look at him, still encased in his arms.

"Do you mean it?" I stressed. He nodded.

"You're too beautiful not to at least consider it." He teased, making me blush.

Ever since then, I hadn't mentioned it, but sometimes wondered. I loved Len so much… And I was often jealous. I fired pretty maids that flirted with him, but didn't tell him. I didn't want to seem petty. I only hoped he wouldn't catch on.

But tonight he seemed in a different mood. I sighed as we parted, relishing in his presence, his taste. Len was… so special. I loved him like he was a piece of my own heart.

He smiled at me and kissed each eye gently, making me giggle.

"Now, sleep." He instructed. But I leaned forward and pushed myself up by my palms to kiss each of his eyes as well.

"You too." I reminded him. He nodded and we both lay down, falling asleep to the memory of waves and warm sand.

"Len!"

I tripped over a dune of sand, shoving my hands in front of me to break my fall onto the hot sand.

However, my arms flailed wildly as I was caught by capable hands that not only pushed me up but held me close.

"Be careful."

I open my eyes cautiously to a small grin from Len as he holds me. A small breath of relief escapes my lips, but soon his lips cover mine, no time for breathing.

The sea is beautiful. The sky is beautiful. The day is beautiful. Everything is peaceful, calm, and perfect.

Len did make the arrangements, and after I approved a few things and set out orders while I was gone, we were on our way. We had high security until we reached the secluded part of the beach, where the guards were ordered to stay away. So we could be free.

It was so strange, like being in two times at once. It was very familiar, being here with Len. The same smells, the same wind and sound. I was a child, leading the way with Len tagging behind.

But here we were. No one else, just us. We were definitely grown up. The feelings I had when I looked at Len… they were much more thrilling.

Len's laughing eyes held the blue of the sea's sparkling waters as he held my hand. I couldn't stop looking at this laughing man, my twin brother and only love. The deepest feelings in my heart rose and swelled like the waves.

He had stopped me at the edge.

"Take off your shoes." He demanded. I let out a chortle.

He looked at me seriously, letting go of my hand and plunking down on the small bank. He began unfastening his boots.

"Len!" I burst out. "You're not serious."

He gave me a look. "It's just me here. And I've seen more than your ankles."

I blushed. "But, it's improper. Suppose someone came along?"

He pulled off his right boot and rolled up his pants.

"Then I guess we'd be in trouble anyways."

I sighed and bit my lip, scowling. Len finished and draped his arms across his knees.

He squinted up at me. "Do you need me to do it?" he asked placidly. I shook my head furiously and sat down beside him.

I tore off my own shoes and then silk stockings, throwing them aside. Len placed them carefully in my shoes as I rolled up my white bloomers. Today I was wearing a filmy white dress with lots of layers and a wide yellow sash that made me look girlish. No hoops and only a half-corset, one that was looser and easier to move and breathe in. I liked it much better than the others.

I stood defiantly and shoved my hands onto my thin hips.

"I'm ready." I announced. Len stood, and I took his hand immediately. I felt the rough tiny grooves of his skin and how warm it was. It held mine securely as he guided us down the mounds of sand towards the water.

The sand was warm but not burning, and I suddenly spotted a shell.

Pausing, I let go of his hand to look at it. Len continued onto the water as I bent down, examining the pearly shell.

I stood and watched Len after my shell was examined thoroughly.

His back to me, he reached his hands out and breathed deeply, a smile spreading across his face. His fingers were widespread, his face tipped to the sun. His firm body made an X, his feet firmly planted in the damp sand even as water swirled at his bare ankles. I ached to join him, but he seemed as if he had grown wings in the sunlight, his arms spread out so far as if to welcome in the world. He was so open, so free, so full of joy.

I felt a raw spot inside as I watched him. I felt…lonely. Like I was missing out. Like even if I stood up to the sun that way, it would not embrace me like it did my twin. I wanted to feel the freedom he did.

Len turned to me, holding his hand out now exclusively to me.

"Come." He said smiling. I took his hand, feeling the contagious happiness just from his gaze.

We waded into the water, and I inhaled sharply the moment the foamy sea water touched the soles of my feet. A chill ran up my spine to the top of my head, making my hair stand on end. A fresh gust of wind gently blew across the water to jostle the tips of our hair and to gently caress our fair cheeks.

It was just as before. I felt a surge of free energy, and laughed as I suddenly ran into the waves. Len followed me into the deeper water, grabbing ahold of me from behind and swinging me around and around.

We both laughed and smiled widely, and feeling the water on our skin was invigorating.

"Len!" I said suddenly. Len stopped and looked at me, the wind blowing his glossy blond hair around.

I smiled. "I love you." I told him. "More than anyone else. Ever."

He took his hands, cold from the water and cupped my face.

"I love you too." He told me. "More than anything."

We kissed, right there in the water, in the middles of the beach. My white dress thrashed around my legs, and my cold hands clung to his shirt as we embraced. It was perfect.

The whole day was peaceful and filled with happiness. We searched for sea glass and shells, smooth rocks and small sea creatures. We picnicked under a tree on the bank on a soft blanket, and I forgot to eat delicately and not laugh while eating.

Len held my hand almost the whole time, even as we ate. We took a long walk along the beach after we ate, and came across some empty bottles rooted in the sand.

Len's eyes lit up.

"Come on, let's put messages in these bottles!" he shouted joyfully.

I tugged on his hand and frowned a bit.

"Len, they're in the sand and musty. Let's go do something else."

But he was determined. He dropped my hand and began digging at the sand, unearthing the glass treasures.

He held one up to the light to examine it. It was shiny with grains of sand stuck on it, and although it needed washed appeared to be a good bottle.

Len grinned. I scowled, crossing my arms as he dug out another.

"What are we gonna do with some old bottles?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

Len fished out the other bottle. "We are going to rinse them out, then put a wish in the bottle. If we put it back in the sea, our wishes may come true someday."

His voice was light and far-away, his eyes misted with those memories I never knew. I wanted him back, with me.

I laughed cruelly. "That's a hopeful thing. Where did you hear that, Len? From peasants, no doubt."

Len frowned and turned away, walking to the edge of the water to rinse out his bottles. Inside, I burned, angry with myself for saying something so scornful. I had just driven him away.

Len tore out a piece of paper from a copy book he had brought for drawing. He sat down next to his bottles and thought hard, his eyes furrowing at the paper in front of him.

I sat down next to him. "You're really serious about this aren't you?" I asked.

He looked at me and nodded. "You want to try?" he asked, a note of hope light on his voice.

I shook my head, looking away shiftily. What did I need?

Len's face fell a bit and he looked away. I bit my tongue.

"Well, you grant all my wishes already, don't you?" I said, fingering a shell still sticky and damp with sand.

Len looked up, surprised. Then his mouth curved into a smile.

"I suppose." He replied softly, and I kissed his cheek happily, remembering his startled smile.

I leaned over him, trying to peer at his paper.

"What are you going to wish for?" I asked suspiciously. Was there something Len desired that he could not have?

"For you to have a bigger chest." Len answered smoothly.

"What?!" I screeched, jumping up, my face pink with embarrassment. I struggled for his paper, but he held me back.

"Calm down," he laughed. "I was joking."

He tried to draw me close, but I swatted him away. I looked down; was I really so flat?

Len chuckled and I tore my head back up, blushing again. Len put his paper into his bottle and corked it.

I stalked off with my hands crossed tightly across my chest, but I watched him release the shining bottle into the water.

He brushed his hands off and walked towards me, past my empty, unused bottle.

"Rin…" he coaxed as he reached me. "I was teasing you. You're perfect."

I stuck my lip out defiantly and sniffed as Len slid his hands to my waist.

"You're not mad." He whispered. "You know I think you are the most beautiful thing in this world."

I felt my cheeks turn warm, but for a different reason. I looked away to avoid his intense gaze, but his lips met mine and I sank into him, my arms coming up to cage him to me.

He was pretty easy to forgive, I decided grudgingly.

We walked along the beach a bit more, but the sun began to dip into the west, ready to turn the world dark.

I slowly put my shoes and stockings back on, rolling down my bloomers and doing my best to shake the sand from my dress. I looked damp and dirty, but somehow Len still looked clean. A bit wrinkled, but not like me. I sighed and tossed my hair, feeling the weight of the world settle back onto my shoulders.

Len kissed my pouting face knowing that I, like a child, would become irritable now that the wonderful day drew to a close.

We paraded through the throng of guards to the waiting carriage. The guards, who had simply been relaxing in the shade all day, jumped up and readied the grazing horses.

Len and I sat in the carriage snuggled together, our hands intertwined. Len held one hand on the basket that was now full of shells we had discovered.

Bored without the excitement I held this morning, I pulled the curtain from the carriage's window to peer out at the passing land and village in the dying light.

For a while it was nothing but empty fields, dry and waving with the breeze. But soon we entered the village, and I sat up excitedly having not seen it since I was a child.

It was in great disarray. The straw thatches that covered the cracking walls were dirty and rotting, and the streets were not bustling as they used to. People ambled around in the streets, but stopped when we passed.

It was no surprise, for the carriage was a royal one, decorated with gold and white. Four auburn horses pulled the whole thing, and we had two guards riding on horses beside it.

I disliked the carriage, because it was so bumpy, and often got hot inside. There were glass windows and satin plush seats, but I liked riding my own horse better. More freedom.

However, as I waved to the on looking people, I began to feel uneasy. They did not wave back, or even look astonished. They looked…angry.

As we rode through, more and more people flocked to the streets to watch us pass. It got so that we had to slow down for safety.

Suddenly, something hit the carriage. I gasped and leaned back abruptly into Len, who gripped me tightly.

More sounds of things smacking the carriage continued. A sudden sound at the window revealed the objects to be rotten fruit. They were throwing rotten produce at the carriage.

I shrank back, and Len closed the curtain hurriedly.

"It's ok, Rin. Breathe deeply." Len assured me, but I only let out a small whimper. I had no idea they were so angry. But to throw things at me?

Len rubbed my back soothingly, and I tried to restrain myself from peering out the window in morbid curiosity. We seemed to keep slowing.

My heart beat fast as I heard shouts begin to escalate. Len was mumbling things to himself and holding me a little too tightly for comfort. Then suddenly, the whole vehicle came to a shuddering halt.

Len stood and banged on the window separating us from the two guards that were driving.

"What is the meaning of this!?" He shouted. A guard looked down, frowning at us.

"We can't get through! They are completely blocking the area!"

Len gave a small groan. My heart was seized with fear.

"Are they going to hurt us?" I asked. Len gave me a startled look.

"Don't worry about it." He told me. "I'll take care of it."

He went to the door and swung it open, and people began to push at him and the carriage, rocking it. I held onto the seat as I gaped at Len and the teeming crowd.

A guard suddenly rode up beside Len, and gave him room to crawl to the driver's seat. The guard pushed the door closed to keep the people out, leaving me alone inside.

I heard more shouts as Len directed the crowd.

"Unless you want your children to be trampled, you must move! Unless you want to fight with five trained swordsmen willing to die for the princess, I suggest you step aside."

Len's voice was steel; hard and cold. The words themselves did not seem so much against so many people, but his tone gave quite the impression. I shivered hearing it myself.

I waited with baited breath, praying we could get through. I just wanted to go home… how could things turn so ugly?

The wheels began to creak as we began to move, slowly but surely through the loud crowd. Still things smacked against the carriage walls, but we kept moving.

I glanced out the coverless window for a moment, seeing the sea of ugly, disgusted faces. Twisted with anger, they began to chant as we slowly passed them.

"DAUGHTER OF EVIL! DAUGHTER OF EVIL!"

I felt bile rise in my throat. What was this title they had bestowed onto me? One I had earned? Never.

I was too frozen with fright to reach up and pull the curtain close or to even look away. So I was forced to watch them shout and press against us again and again. Eventually I just focused on my own reflection in the glass, relieved to look at something else, even if I did look sickly and pale.

Still they chanted, their angry voices echoing in my head even when we left them behind, crossing into more farmland once more.

I realized I was hurting my hands because I was holding onto the seat so tightly my knuckles turned white. Unclenching them, I winced at the soreness.

I felt faint and leaned my head against the glass, reeling.

The door opened suddenly and I sat up to see Len enter then shut the door.

He was now in disarray, and there were pieces of trash still in his hair. He was as white as me.

He sat down, exhausted. I reached out to take his hand, to stabilize us both.

Finally, I spoke. "Why were they so angry, Len?"

He sighed and looked away. "They're hungry Rin."

I frowned, and seeing this, went on.

"Taxes are too high, and there's been a widespread drought."

I noted that he no longer sounded surprised I didn't know or remember this, just tired. My heart felt fearful again, for a different reason.

"Len…" I tried, scooting closer to him. Why did he not embrace me? Comfort me?

"It's ok, you're safe now." He reassured, but only squeezed my hand.

Feeling drawn back, I leaned back in my seat, watching him as he looked out the window. Soon, I turned away to, and rested my head against the glass once more.

For the first time since he had arrived, I felt lonely again. But what had changed? Even with his hand in mine I felt uncertain and sad.

I felt a hard seed of anger in my heart form at those people. If they just fended for themselves Len would not be like this. Surely he thought this was my entire fault. That's why he was acting strange. It was their fault, not mine.

I fostered these feeling s for a while, enjoying the relief they provided. Of course it wasn't my fault. They were babies, not being able to take care of themselves. Peasants who had been coddled and now expected the same when times were hard. And look at all I did for them! Ridiculous. Blaming me for all their problems. I hated them.

**A/N**

**Hey guys! Sorry for the late update, I have just recently moved into college and started classes! To make up for the time missed, Here's an extra long update! Hope it's ok! I will try and get back to the regular schedule~**

**Anyways~**

**ValkyrieVampire888~**

**I loved writing the ball, so I hope you like it too! Should be out in the next few chapters. And hehe, they're quick huh? Good thing they haven't gotten caught yet!**

**Rilenchan3700~ Thanks! Yea, I take a lot of creative freedom with the storyline. Ive got a big imagination! Thanks again, I will!**

**ChocolateFantasies~ Love your username! Chocolate is amazing~ Anyways, thanks! Hm...Well, if you have read one before, thanks! Thats sweet . Thank you again, I will!**

**Hihihi~ I will! I have a lot more written already, almost 100 pages! And thank you!**

** ~ Thank you so much! I will! I used to avoid SOE because it made me cry, but obviously I've gotten over it! XD **

**Cookiexo~ No problem! I'm a longwinded writer, I think. Sorry if this chapter is so long, I probably should have split it up... anyways!**

**You make my day better~ Fluff attack woo! I love fluff, it's so cheerful~**

**Aw thanks! I try TAT Ah Math... An enemy of mine XD I understand completely~**

**I love talking to you too! I will update soon as I can!**

**XxKurenoAoichixX~ Thanks! I'm glad you like, hope you like this update too!**

**Exorcist-Dono~ No problem! Sorry for the late update XD**

**I hope your move went well! I've moved around a bunch before, so I know it can be rough sometimes! But new Anime is definetly A wonderful reason not to check your reading list XD **

**Im glad it's not too predictable! I know everyone already knows the story, but I try to liven it up the best I can! I hate that too~**

**Aw thank you! I'm so glad, I'd hate for it to be hard. My brother has ADHD, so I know how hard it is for him too. Thats why he loves manga so much XD**

**Ooohhh yes. I am an English major in my college, so I like to keep everything spelled right and (hopefully) grammatically correct. I see those too and it breaks my heart. The story/idea is good, but the writing gets distracting! Spellcheck really does amazing things TAT**

**XD No problem. This is so late, you've probably thought I've forgotten to update forever! I hope to get on track soon, so hopefully we dont miss each other XD**

**And please, my remote gets out more than me too! I usually like it that way, gives me more time to write. XD And I love rants and talking to you, so no worries!**

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, guys! They were so encouraging, I really really appreciate it! See you guys soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

That night, things were quiet between Len and I. I brushed my hair quietly, over and over as he read. Usually when he read at night I would snuggle up with him and just cuddle, but this new space between us made things seem awkward.

I was as tense as my stays before riding. Tight and quiet, I heard every turn of a page as I monotonously brushed the gold strands again and again. Finally, I set the brush down on the glass with a resounding clink.

I slipped into bed, careful not to get too close to Len. He didn't look at me hardly at all during dinner. If I hadn't known better, he would simply be another efficient servant.

He didn't look at me now. He continued to read, his blue eyes sweeping across the page fast.

Len read differently than I. I was a capable reader and writer, being taught by the best, but never taking an interest in either.

But nowadays I realized Len was a reader. His eyes devoured the pages before him, sucking him in and capturing his senses in a way that made even I jealous. Len was interested, no, enamored. He loved his books, even reading them again and again. I had tried one, thinking I would enjoy them as well. I mean, maybe the problem was that all I read were reports and legislation and military issues. But no.

I simply could not get into it. They were harder to read, always saying something that didn't seem to fit in the situation. Metaphors, Len had tried to explain.

And focusing on one thing! One book had a page just describing a piece of bread. All about the bread, how it looked, smelled, tasted. What it reminded the character of.

Symbolism, Len said. The bread stood for something else, he explained. I asked him why they didn't just say what it meant instead, but Len just shrugged. So I decided I didn't want to read anymore.

Now, he was concentrated solely on his book again. I sighed. We usually talked before sleeping. Not tonight, I guess.

I slid down and turned my back to him and closed my eyes. After a few moments, I heard Len set his book down.

"Rin?"

I bit my tongue irritably. Now he wants to talk to me?

"What?" I answered, trying not to sound cross.

He placed a hand on my shoulder. "You didn't even say goodnight." He sounded hurt.

I sat up, brushing off his hand.

"Goodnight? You've barely looked at me all night and you are upset now because I didn't say good night?"

Len frowned and straightened up, his broad shoulders setting back. I glared at him indigently and continued.

"I know you're mad at me. You think what happened today is all my fault!" Len tried to say something, but I kept going.

"I know! You can't evens stand to look at me! You're disgusted with me, just like _them_!" I choked out. I began to cry.

Len tried to draw me into him. "Rin…"

I shoved him away, startling him. "No! Leave me alone! I hate you, you're just like them!"

There was silence. I instantly regretted my words, wanted them back, to stuff down my throat and swallow them down and let them settle in my stomach. Where they couldn't hurt anyone but me.

Len moved, and I jumped a bit.

"Len?" I asked unsurely as he slipped off the bed.

"As you wish." He said quietly, sadness and tight control evident. I reached out for a moment, feeling horrible. I just wanted him to come back, take me in his arms again. Tell me he loves me. That's all I wanted.

He paused and kissed my hand gently.

"Goodnight, Rin."

I slowly lowered my hand as he rounded the bed and left, tears gathering in my eyes as I watched him leave.

I cried. Looking over to the empty spot beside me, I realized Len had left his book.

I picked it up to hold, considering that maybe I could return it to him and apologize. Maybe he would talk to me again. But as I picked it up, it's delicate binding strained and then tore right off. I stared at it, the horrible sound of it bouncing off the walls of my mind. My hands shook and I dropped the cover and began to weep. I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't know how to fix anything.

The next morning I woke up sore and weary. My eyes felt puffy and looked it too. And worst of all, I woke up to my own accord. Len almost always woke me.

My heart was gripped with cold hands. He couldn't…he wouldn't have…

I threw the covers off me and flew across the floors, holding my breath of fright. Throwing open Len's door, I stood in the doorway and scanned the room.

He slept in a large lump underneath his blankets, very alive and very present. He hadn't left me.

I swallowed a sob and rushed across the room, jumping onto him.

"Len! Oh Len!" I cried. He awoke immediately with a start as I gripped him.

"Rin? What's wrong?" He asked, bewildered. He sat up and pulled me close to him while fumbling for his pocket watch.

"I thought you had gone away." I mumbled. "I know I told you to, but when I woke up without you I was so scared… Oh, please don't leave me Len. I didn't mean any of those things I said!"

Len rubbed my back and laughed quietly. "Rin, it's six. I wake you at seven. You just woke early, that's all."

I opened my eyes and pulled back, staring incredulously at him. Six! I felt like a fool. Of course. Why had I rushed to conclusions?

Len tenderly brushed my cheek. "And I told you: I will never leave you. I know you were simply angry. But even if you did hate me I wouldn't. I love you too much."

I felt my mouth turn up into a wide smile, stretching more and more. Then I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you Len." I said, muffled by his shirt. Len squeezed me back for a moment, but then held me back from him.

"Rin, I need to talk to you though." I tilted my head to the side. He twisted his mouth as he tried to think of how to begin.

"Although I don't think it's really your fault, you need to think about how those people are."

I scowled. I didn't want to hear about this.

He continued: "They don't know any better than how hard things are. They don't know you're trying to fix things, and they don't know you were kept unaware."

I sighed and felt my patience growing thinner and thinner. Why were the people so important to Len?

"They're starving! They need help! Honestly, if there's anything you can do for them, instead of putting it towards the ball budget-"

"What!" I interrupted. "The ball is supposed to help fix everything! And you don't want to have it?"

Len shook his head wildly. "No, that's not what I meant. If just a little bit was given back to them, just instead of flowers or something-"

"Len, every ball has flowers! People will know we are bankrupt if we throw a half done ball!"

Len sat up straight and a cold look settled into him.

"If you don't do something, you won't even be able to afford food never less a ball if you don't do something!"

I burst into tears. Why did everything fall on me? I didn't know what to do. And flowers were already paid for! I was clueless, simply clueless. It sounded so easy falling from Len's lips, like a few waves of a wand would fix things, but it was so hard!

Len pulled me to him. He firmly pressed his forehead to mine while his hands held me gently.

"Please, don't." Len tried. "Don't cry."

I continued to cry, closing my eyes. "Why do they m-mean so much t-to you?"

Len sighed. "I…They need help."

I sobbed. "I don't know what to do. I never know what to do."

Len caressed my cheek and determinedly pressed his lips to mine. I didn't struggle, but I felt listless.

Len kissed my cheek, then near my ear. Down and down, pressing his lips to my neck and collar bone. I was distracted as he adjusted me suddenly, laying me down on his bed.

"L-Len?" I stuttered as he ran his hands down the sides of my body.

"I love you, Rin. First and foremost. You are…" He hovered above me, his lips grazing mine as he spoke.

"You're everything." He whispered, his warm breath caressing me.

His hands were moving, and I tensed nervously. He lifted me up to him, kissing me deeply. Then, his hands traveled down to my legs from my sides. Sliding his hands underneath my nightgown, he grasped my waist and had me kneel on his legs. He pushed the bottom of my nightgown up, exposing only my stomach. He moved down and kissed the smooth skin of my stomach. I let out a small squeak, but his fingers softly moved across as he placed gentle kisses all over it.

He replaced my night gown after a bit, but after lowering me to sit on his lap he began to kiss my neck again, his strong hands holding me against him. I struggled because it tickled, but when he kissed my mouth, I practically melted into him. The simple taste of him was enough, and he was so warm. Len had certain magnetism to him that caught me every time, made me want more and more.

A familiar chime of the clock in my room could be heard, and we parted at its sound.

Len looked at me, and I stared back for a moment. He moved, and the spell cracked enough for us to relax.

"Better get back in there." Len said softly. "I'll bring you your breakfast."

"Yes. Thank you." I responded back, but my mind seemed a whirl.

As I made my way back to my bed, I rehashed the last hour. What had even happened?

What Len had said…I had never even responded to. And he never really said anything after I cried, just that he loved me. What did all this even me? That he loved me, but his opinions were the same?

He didn't tell me what to do either. Maybe he didn't know what to do either.

I was so confused. So, so confused. Everything was a mixed up mess, and even when Len and I were together it felt tainted. Why was this happening? What had gone wrong? My life was unraveling.

I spotted Lens book upon returning, and a wave of guilt flooded over me. I held it carefully in two hands and waited.

When he arrived with breakfast, I held out the book wordlessly.

"Oh no…" He choked out, gathering the remains from my guilt-ridden hands.

I bit my lip. "I'm so sorry… It was an accident. I know how much it meant to you."

Lens eyes were filled with hurt as he brushed his hand lightly over the torn cover.

"I'll buy you a new one." I tried. "It won't replace the old one, but…"

"No." Len said quietly. "No thank you."

I grasped his hand that held his broken book.

"Len." I stressed, begging him to look at me. "I am so sorry."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Please, please forgive me." Please.

I felt faint lips on my forehead and my eyes flew open. Len gave me a small smile.

"I do. It's alright." He alleged. I leaned forward.

"But it was one of your most _prized possessions_." I exclaimed. Would he really forgive me so easily?

Len and I had had discussions about _prized possessions_ when I had asked him why he had brought so little with him. Len had explained that although he didn't have a lot, it didn't feel that way because these things were extra special. They had meaning and memories. Like my ribbon and his ring.

I was surprised. I had never thought of things like that. Almost everything I had was replaceable or simply held little meaning to me. Even my most valuable jewels were just decorations I used. Except for the few things I had from Len, nothing I had was a _prized possession_.

Len smiled again at me. "It may have been, but as long as I have you nothing else really matters." He explained. I blushed.

"Why?" I asked. Len placed his fingers underneath my chin, lifting my face up to meet his.

"Because you are my most prized possession." He purred, kissing me firmly before turning away.

Inside, I warmed. I was Len's, and to be given such a title… made me feel special. Len would have laughed at such a thought, but I thought it appropriate. He was definitely my most prized possession as well, I decided. He was better than all the jewels in the world. Priceless.

**A/N**

**Hey guys! Here I am, just as planned! Woo! Homework and stuff has been increasing, but I've got this ;D Weekly updates shall always be on time!**

**Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this. It doesnt seem to important, I guess but it is!**

**Next week will be a very exciting chapter... and a little long too. Things shall be happening...**

**So thanks for everything, see y'all next week!**

**Valkyrievampiree888~ **

**I know she does TAT The ball wont be next chapter, but should start the chapter after that. It's quite the event, so it will last two chapters. Quitttteee the event *raises eyebrows mysteriously***

**Sorry, couldnt help myself XD Thanks! I love the beach a LOT, so I had a good time writing it. I'm glad you laughed, sometimes I feel I'm too intense or sad in my writing, so yay XD Thanks again!**

**Cookiexo~**

**It's funny, when I originally planned the story, Rin was going to be a lot meeker and less evil. I just couldb't picture it, but the more I wrote, the more she began to be more evil, like in the songs! Weird huh? It makes me a bit sad too, but I already know what happens so I'm not too sad XD You'll just have to wait and see...**

**Thanks! I'm glad you liked! I loves me some Len TAT I wouldn't die, but I would have to tackle him and rip his clothes off and lock him in some tower and... well, keep him forever XD Sorry, I probably just weirded you out XD Len fangirl over here!**

**Ahhh I'm not surprised someone finally asks this. Well, I don't want to give anything away, but if you've read anything else I've written, I often remark that I can't write lemons XD I literally can't, I get perverted little girl giggles and it's just over. However, I'm not going to make the story...unrealistic. Because come on, no boy likes to be patient, even the magnificant Len XD So although I can assure you there shall be no descriptive lemon, the rating for this story will probably change down the line(And trust me, youre no perv, and I dont mind at all XD).**

**I like to make things seem relatable. If I can. I cant really imagine what it would be like to be killing people left and right, bt theres got to be some motive behind it. Especially since it's Rin, not some heartless demon. But she definetly did the Kaito thing for selfsh reasons XD Her mind is Len Len Len!**

**I am! It's going pretty good. Trying to learn and all that XD I was homesick for a while, but it gets better. Finding friends isn't too hard, we've already made an anime watching club on my floor XD And thank you, I need all the luck I can get!**

**Your review is never crappy, it's usaully the highlight because it's so long and interesting XD I love all my reviews dearly, but I love talking to you!**

**Thank you TAT Youre so sweet TAT I shall look forward to that then! Now I'll have something else to look forward to!**

**I dont own anything but my own creative blurbs. Thanks everyone! Review if you care, and enjoy! **


	10. Chapter 10

Finally my dress was a finished, and only a day before the ball. I had seen it, unfinished of course, at my fitting. But it was nothing compared to the finished version.

I tried it on for Madame, to make sure everything fit. She was quite pleased, and my ladies fluttered around me like butterflies, adjusting and cooing over every tuck and pleat.

Finally, the mirror was brought to me, and I examined myself. After a moment, I smiled at the young girl in the mirror-no, the young lady. I turned to Madame.

"I love it." I gushed. She smiled wider, quite pleased, her hands fluttering around.

"It did turn out quite wonderful!" She allowed. "Thanks to you, Princess. You're figure really does compliment it."

Knowing she was genuine, I rushed forward and kissed her on both cheeks, as a thank you. She beamed, and all the ladies tittered with joy.

Later, I tried it on for Len, in between a meeting and lunch.

I emerged from my bathroom, feeling proud for lacing it up myself. I smiled at him shyly, and he rose from his chair.

"Rin." He said in a hushed voice. He smiled widely. "You look positively beautiful."

I did. It was a lovely, bright gold, with a triangular waist, making my top look bigger and my waist even smaller than it was. The sleeves were tight to my elbows, and a thin sash made me look older. The skirts were full and wider rather than bigger on just the side, the newest style. The hoops and waist were of thin strips of whalebone, light but strong. And of course it fit perfectly, every seam lying against me like a second skin.

The gold matched my hair perfectly and flattered my skin. And instead of silver, as initially suggested, the dress was trimmed with pure black. Black lace ran along the low neck of the dress and along the sleeves. I had a black underskirt trimmed in gold that showed when I spun even the slightest bit. I was a golden rose, just like the ones on my wall.

"Thank you." I giggled. He came to me, taking my hand.

"Spin for me." He said grandly, and I did, the skirt flaring out wide. I slowly stopped and smiled at him as he looked at me again.

"You really are magnificent, Rin." He murmured, drawing me close. "You will sure outshine them all."

His voice had a touch of sadness in it, so I leaned over the hoops and kissed him lightly.

"And all yours." I reminded him, which made him smile. He ran his hand along my cheek and set his mouth firmly.

"Be careful, Rin."

I drew back. "What is there to be careful about?" I scoffed. I moved my hands to embrace him fully. "You know I only love you."

He took my hands away gently, looking at me with his serious face.

"Not that. I mean be careful. People…people aren't happy out there."

I frowned. This again? I was so tired of hearing about all the others out there. I was doing all this for them, why couldn't I just be happy for once? I told Len so.

He frowned even deeper. "Rin, you don't understand-"

I cut him off. "Len, I don't want to hear about it anymore!" I turned back to him. "You'll protect me, won't you?"

He had reached for me, but drew his hand back. "Of course."

I smiled at him. "Then what do I have to worry about, hm?"

I sauntered closer to him, grabbing his hands. I hummed a little and lifted his hands so I could spin.

"Come on," I pled, "Smile. For me."

For a moment, he looked weary, worried. Then he looked at me and smiled, an almost real smile.

"Dance with me." I ordered playfully. He took me up properly, and leaned me back.

I inhaled sharply and grinned. "You're quite the dancer." I noted.

"I'd have to be to dance with such a lovely partner." He retorted, making me giggle.

After a few fancy steps, I leaned closer and laid my head on his chest, drawing him closer. He began to hum a slower song as we swayed.

"Len?" I said after a moment.

"Yes?"

I wanted to tell him what I felt, but held my tongue.

"I love you." I said simply, and I could feel him smile.

"And I you." He responded eloquently.

For a few more moments, we danced. Suddenly, Len stopped and pushed me away from him.

I stumbled, and snapped open my mouth, but Len put his finger to his lips.

I heard footsteps, and chatter. Maids, or those dreaded ladies were coming. I ran into the bathroom to change and looked back, seeing Len disappear into the servant's stairway, a passageway that I locked at night as to not be disturbed. It was useful for the maids to slip in and out silently during the day, but I valued privacy.

Just as I closed the door, I heard my main one open. As I unlaced myself, I heard them in the parlor. Close, too close. I laced myself up in my regular day dress, green today, and clumsily hung up the ball gown. I fixed my askew hair and left the bathroom elegantly to the others, who were eagerly waiting to escort me to lunch since Len was supposedly busy with errands for the ball. As I walked down the hallway with them following like chicks, I tried to breathe easier. I had hardly ever been so frightened in my life. Len and I needed to be more careful.

After a short lunch, I returned to my desk to finish a few papers. Len was really out this time, overseeing the types of flowers I wanted for the ball.

I worked alone, but missed his company sorely. I did get more work done, sitting by myself in the quiet room without distraction or temptation.

As I reached the bottom of the stack, I eagerly grabbed another smooth paper to stamp my approval on it. I hardly read them anymore; just glanced at the title before stamping or discarding.

However, this one caught my eye. It was a new tax. Looking it over, I tried to find the reason for it. Apparently, the commoners were being told it was for reconstruction of the roads, but we cut that project almost a year ago; too expensive.

I went back into my piles and rifled through it, looking for expenses. It usually stressed me to see such large sums, so I stamped it as soon as I recognized it. But as I looked it over again, and found the true cause.

The ball was costing much, much more than I had realized. The flowers, the decorations, the extra help, the food, even my own dress were vast on their own, and even more so combined. It was almost twice I had estimated!

I had never been good at figures and math, but I reckoned it based on what I had been vaguely told.

I searched back through, trying to find the statement for the treasury. Surely there was no reason for new taxes.

Finally, I found it, and scanned it quickly. When I saw the amount, my jaw dropped.

The treasury was empty, except for a few hundred which were apparently coming from sold furniture. Furniture from the palace!

I looked closer, comparing. Some jewels had been sold. A large pink square cut ruby, a smaller sapphire pendant. I felt my neck, recalling those very same jewels in my jewel case. They were selling my jewels!

I stood hurriedly, leaving the papers.

Without an escort or even a maid, I strode down the hallway purposefully. I ignored the polite curtsies and greetings, not even looking at the silly fools. To these courtiers, life was an endless stream of entertainment, whether it be balls, ballets, operas, or even myself. Watching me eat my meals, watching me get my hair done, watching me walk through the gardens. The fools.

Inside, a small mean voice questioned myself. Was I any better than them? Any less ignorant? Any less at fault, if not more?

Unable to disregard the voice, I marched into the room of cases that held the jewels, the crowns, the valuables. I immediately began to scan the room.

The keeper of the pieces was there, of course. A small, silver haired man named Piko; he was a calm sort of fellow, thought to be well trusted. His job was to watch over the pieces, to polish them and keep them in good order, and to handle them if requested by me. A fine jeweler, as I had thought.

However, he was very nervous now, something I observed immediately.

"Ah, Princess! I wasn't expecting you!" he wrung his hands before rushing over, bowing a few times for good measures. I wasted no time.

"Bring me the Rosen Ruby." I ordered coldly. He paled slightly, before bowing and backing away.

"Of course! I should have expected you would be here, for the grand ball is what, tomorrow? Of course her highness would like some jewelry!"

I said nothing as he rambled; only noting how his hands shook as he opened the case. I felt very little pity.

He carefully brought me the shining necklace, a strong gold chain with the large jewel hanging at the bottom. A flashier piece, but a gift from ages and ages ago, for my grandmother when she married.

I held the stone in my hand, letting the chain dangle to the side. I examined it with my naked eye, and felt the jewel in my hand.

In my hand, it grew warm. In the stone was a small bubble, hardly noticeably. Paste jewelry.

I threw it to the ground, and it being slightly softer than real rubies, broke. The jeweler gasped, but I already knew it was not because the stone had broken. It was because I knew.

"Paste." I snarled. He whimpered as I neared him, my fist tight.

"Please your highness, I did not mean to displease you, they said-"

"Who said? How long? Who said you could lie to me, you insolent maggot!" I snapped.

He cowered. "For years, Princess! It was Sir Gakupo and few others, Princess! Please, spare me!"

I narrowed my eyes as I felt the horrible feeling sweep through my veins, as if I was mad.

I grabbed his tie, bringing him closer. "You best be telling me the truth, sir." I whispered. He nodded and apologized profusely.

"I shall spare your life." I told him. "But you will spend your life regretting this."

He went positively gray as I released him and shouted for guards. A few had been outside the door, and came rushing in.

"Arrest him." I said coldly. "And throw him into the dungeon."

They dragged him out, him protesting all the time. I did not watch as he left, only walked over to the broken piece strewn across the marble. It reflected me back, and I smiled.

"I'm in control now." I whispered. "Things are going to change."

With that I left, the paste jewel crunching beneath my heeled slipped as I passed. It sounded like the sound of a chicken bone being snapped, a lovely hollow sound. It made me smile again, and I held my head high as I strode away, another new destination in mind.

**A/N**

**I own nothing!**

**Hey guys! Thanks for reviewing and all that~ I appreciate it dearly! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter~ Next chapter the ball shall begin! **

**College is going good, obviously I had time to upload this XD I hope to keep a steady schedule! My birthday is next Friday, so I'm excited because I'll be going home for my birthday!**

**Well, Anyways~**

**Valkyrievampire888~ **

**I know, doesn't homework just ruin all the fun? TAT I'm glad you got to read it at all, sounds busy! Hopefully it made for a good morning! Have fun in school XD**

**Cookiexo~**

**I know~ I love him TAT Please, join the club. We're all a little too obsessed with Len XD And well, it's good that they do, she's a little crazy here XD**

**YAY SHARING IS CARING! Especially when it sings Spice :D I think so too TAT Twins forever TAT**

**Yes, exactly. Painful lemon writing experiences TAT Hee hee, it's cool to see you try and figure it out~ good try...*runs off***

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**Thanks XD I try~ **

**It's definetly heating up now! I'm glad this story is so long, I'm really enjoying it! Talk to you soon!**

**Exorcist-Dono~**

**Ah High school. Don't worry, I know what you mean!**

**Thank you! I try to make it more realistic, I guess. Stay true to character and stuff XD**

**That's good! Oh, when I moved my dog did that too. It was awful, had to go and put netting all in our fence so she wouldn't get out TAT**

**Ah, a private school? I hope it's better! I heard they are usually smaller.**

**Thanks! I hope so too! I agree. I have a iPhone, but apple is just...eh. Macs are more confusing to me (and more expensive!) I usaully get alerts through email~ It usually works.**

**Thanks again!**


	11. Chapter 11

Gakupo was quite surprised when I strode into his office. In fact, he was shocked. I never bother to see the ridiculous council at any other time than meetings and the occasional meal.

A tall, large breasted woman sat on the edge of his polished desk. He long pink hair was mostly loose, and her low cut dress was a dark grey with pink trimming. She immediately stood and curtsied as soon as my presence was realized, her face as pink as her hair.

"You are dismissed." I barked. She mumbled a goodbye and left, obviously relieved.

Gakupo, meanwhile, had stood and started to recover from his surprise. His face was smooth once more, with a smile stretched across. His long hair swayed as he bowed to me.

"Princess." He greeted, his deep voice ringing in my ears. I tilted my head and placed a finger on my lips as I watched him.

"Sit." I said curtly, and he obeyed. I walked slowly towards him and smiled.

"I was just getting ready for the ball." I sang sweetly. He smiled hesitantly.

"I'm so excited! I have a new dress, you know." I babbled. He nodded, but did not say anything. I circled his desk, coming around to the back of his chair.

He started to turn, but my words stopped him.

"So I went to the jeweler."

He froze in his chair, his long back stiff and straight. I dropped the smile but made my voice sweeter.

"And wouldn't you know, the jewel I requested- was paste jewelry! A fake!" My voice climbed high, and he didn't move.

I pressed my hands onto the arms of the elegant chair and leaned forward to his ear.

"And I asked myself, who in the world would _steal_ my jewelry?" I dropped the sweetness.

"And then someone told me _exactly_ who it was."

He immediately flew out of his chair, smoothing back his hair.

"Princess, there are some things you don't have to understand, the country, it's in debt. We had to." He protested smoothly.

I laughed, a twinkly sound before narrowing my eyes.

"Oh, is it? The taxes were raised quite a bit though, and I noticed that despite the salary decreases for all staff, including you, councilor, that a few people had not only not decreased their salary but _increased_ it!"

He paled, and began to back away as I strode forward.

"You, you used me!" I screamed. "You lied to me, and raised your salary! And now we are out of money, and I am supposedly the perpetrator!"

His face turned red. "Is that so princess?" he snarled. "As if you are not at fault. Who wasn't paying attention? Who spent thousands on this ball, along with a million other frivolous things?"

I slapped him, but he only smiled. "It is not us who are the perpetrator of this, Your highness. We only took the opportunity _you_ gave to us. Yes, you."

It was as if he was the voice in my head, only right in front of me, proof of all my faults and failures. I felt myself flush deeper until I couldn't take it.

"GUARDS!" I shrieked, and they came barreling in.

"Arrest him!" I commanded, and they did. Gakupo did not struggle much, but as he left I heard him laugh.

"It will be you who pays, Princess! Not I, but you!" He screamed, laughing with a smile on his bright face, his purple hair escaping its tie as he moved. His face was flushed and his eyes wide as he laughed, laughed at me with those long silky strands of lavender framed his face. I turned away and glared at an approaching guard, his face wrinkled with worry as he watched me.

"Are you all right, Princess?" He asked me.

I stood straight, ignoring the laughter from the man being drug away. I looked the guard in the eye.

"Alert every councilor that the council has been dissolved, and if they come to me they will be put in chains." I ordered, my voice trembling.

"B-But-"

"Now."

He disappeared, and I stood in the hall by myself. Courtiers who had gathered at the commotion whispered and stared, and I felt their eyes on me, so I ran.

I ran down the corridors, twisting and turning until I finally found mine. I slammed the door closed and bolted every one of them, closing myself in. Locking myself in, and the others out.

My mind was like a constant spinning top, never pausing where I needed it to. I breathed heavily and sank down to the floor, pulling my knees to me. I willed myself not to cry, and my mind wandered to Len.

Where was he? I wanted him. I would have to wait for him.

And wait I did, slumped on the floor for a long time. Soon enough there was pounding on the door, and his voice.

"Rin! Rin, let me in!"

I pushed myself up, keeping a hand on the wall to steady myself. I went to the door and pressed myself against the solid thing.

"Are you alone?" I asked.

"Yes, yes!" he called. I unbolted the door and he hurried in, locking the door behind us.

He swept me up, and I immediately clutched at him.

"Len, they lied to me." I cried. He patted my back and carried me to a chair, sitting down with me in his lap.

"How dare they!" I sobbed. "My jewels, the treasury…"

"I know." Len cooed soothingly. I pressed my eyes against his shoulder, trying to block out the world from my sight.

"Did you know?" I asked him, my voice muffled.

"No, not really. Only suspicions." He told me softly.

"And I wouldn't listen." I whispered. I straightened and grabbed his arm.

"Len," I started, looking into his face. "Is it all my fault?"

His eyes softened and he pressed his forehead to mine.

"No Rin, It's not."

"He said it was." I argued tearfully. Len shook his head.

"You are young, and not raised to rule… you didn't know." Len explained. "How could you have known?"

I hiccupped and shrugged. Len wouldn't lie to me.

Len shifted. "Rin, you did a very dangerous thing." He pressed. I looked back up.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He frowned. "The council. They are there to supposedly make sure the monarchy does not get out of control. The people will see this as a grave threat."

I bit my lip, but narrowed my eyes. "Len, they were corrupt! I am in charge here."

Len looked as if he were about to say something, but hesitated. He stroked my hair and sighed.

"Alright. If it's what you want." He succumbed.

I nodded firmly. He looked around.

"Why have you locked yourself in here?" He wondered. I sniffed and toyed with my necklace.

"They are all angry at me, staring at me. I wanted to be alone."

Len nodded wisely. I sat up and put my arms around his neck.

"But Len, as soon as the ball is over, I'll marry Kaito and everything will be fixed! They'll like me again, and we'll have money!" I said brightly. Len nodded again, but he looked doubtful. I didn't pursue it, just happy to feel better again.

_I'm not in the dark anymore_, I reminded myself._ I'm no longer ignorant. I'm in charge._ Everything will go perfectly.

Finally, the day of the ball had arrived. Kaito was to arrive with his entourage, and in the excitement the dismissal of the council was mostly forgotten.

I was in a flurry the entire day, overseeing the preparations. Len followed behind me dutifully all day, but I hardly had a moment alone with him, which did not improve my nervous mood.

As evening drew closer, I bade goodbye to Len as I prepared for the ball.

I had a warm bath, and then it began as soon as my shift was on. My ladies swarmed around me, primping and polishing happily.

My nails were done; my hair was groomed and done in an elaborate way so it would be swept up off my neck. It looked quite elegant, and a few roses adorned it as well. I hoped they wouldn't wilt and leave petals all over my head.

Claire, the kindest of the ladies, did my makeup.

"Not too much." I instructed. She nodded purposefully and began, her hands moving smoothly, surprisingly skillful.

"Are you excited Princess?" she asked me.

"Yes." I answered, careful not to move. "The Prince Kaito is coming."

She pursed her own lips as she applied something on my own. "Yes, I heard that."

I raised an eyebrow without thinking about it. "What else did you hear?" I asked quieter.

Claire concentrated on applying some powder, but her lips moved inconspicuously.

"I heard he is bringing a woman from the Green Country. Supposedly he is in love with her."

This was interesting, and I was suddenly glad to have such a sort of confidante in Claire.

"Oh?" I said casually. "A mistress?"

She shook her head slightly. "No, not that I've heard. She is a sweet girl, lives in a village."

I thanked Claire quietly, and she finished quickly and smiled at me, content with her work. Then I was absorbed back into the throng of the others, to get dressed.

My dress was pressed and fussed with, and laid on my bed. I had gotten a new corset just for the dress, and it was brought out.

I placed my hands on the bed post and held it tightly as they laced me up tightly. I hated this part the most, because they were always trying to make me even tinier than I was, and I hated the squished feeling I had until my stays loosened. However, tonight I had to be absolutely fetching, so I gritted my teeth as I was squeezed into the steel trap.

After that was finished, the special hoops for the dress were tied on carefully at my waist. They were so much wider than usual that I'd have to be careful when sitting down, if I sat down at all other than dinner.

A million wide petticoats were brought out, but I denied all but two. It wasn't uncommon for women to wear as many as five, but I thought my dress was wide enough, and I didn't want to get hot. The ballroom was surely to be stifling with all the people anyways.

Despite this sad setback for the ladies, they excitedly gathered round as my underskirt, then finally my dress was slipped on and tied up. A simple gold necklace was fastened at my neck, a real yellow diamond as the pendant. I had kept it in my jewel box due to its smaller size, so it had not been exchanged for a false.

They all complimented me on their finished product, as if I had something to do with it. More like a doll, but I smiled and accepted it anyways.

A mirror was brought, and I was pleased with my own image. My cheeks flushed pink and my skin glowed; my hair was luminous under the lamp's light. I looked wonderful in my dress, and a princess from head to toe.

I smiled at them, for I was glad they were good at something. Then I dismissed them to the hall, so I could have a few moments alone before departing for the ballroom.

They quickly ushered out, and I closed the door behind them. Once they were gone, I breathed out in a sigh, glad to have this moment for me.

I went to my bedside and opened the drawer of my nightstand. In it I took my old faded ribbon and carefully unfolded it to reveal Len's ring.

I smiled at it fondly; for it had been long since I had worn it. Once Len had returned, I had hardly the need. But tonight, I wanted the reminder of him to be with me constantly; a piece of my love. Even as I tried to catch Kaito.

The ring fit on my finger nicely, and was slightly heavy. It shone in the light and looked very fitting. Its engraving was fine in its details, each small swirl perfect. The tiny jewels embedded in it shone warmly, winking like small smiles.

Kaito. I hoped his girl wouldn't get in the way. Hopefully, I could use their bond to my advantage.

A knock startled me, but it didn't come from the front. It came from Len's room, through the parlor.

I hurried over and opened the door, revealing Len.

I squealed and hugged him, for I hadn't thought I'd see him again for a while. He hugged me lightly, as to not muss me.

I drew back, looking at him. He was stunning. His waistcoat was of a dark gold color, his pants a spotless white as they tucked into his shining boots at the knee. His cravat was pinned with a shining pin, and his hair shone as mine did, but pulled back neatly. His clothes fit well, his jacket highlighting his broader shoulders.

I breathed out in a delighted sigh. "Oh Len, you look so handsome!"

He smiled at me tenderly. "You look even more beautiful than before, like a doll."

I rushed forward to hug him again, pressing as close as I could in these hoops. He chuckled and smoothed back a stray piece of my hair.

"I'm wearing your ring." I added, lifting my hand to show him. He took my hand and examined it before kissing my ring finger softly.

"Good, I like to know you won't forget me." He said, his eyes startlingly intense. I giggled.

"Don't worry." I assured him, and our fingers intertwined as he held both my hands.

I smiled at him until he smiled back. I remembered something, and was glad I had met Len here.

"Len, Kaito is bringing along the woman he is supposedly in love with."

Len looked surprised. "So your plan will work, you think?"

I nodded. "Perhaps. But see if you can speak to her, get some information. The more we know, the better."

Len raised his eyebrow, staring at me shrewdly. "You've become quite crafty, Rin."

I gave him a wry smile. "I have to be, to secure our freedom."

He gave me a funny look. "You could call it that." He muttered.

I would have asked what he meant, but he kissed me swiftly and began guiding me back towards the door.

"Len-"

"I'll meet you sometime during the ball. Be as wonderful as you always are, and do what you need to do." Len said shortly.

I nodded, and he ran his fingers along my cheek, smiling at me lovingly.

"Don't forget about me." Len repeated as he backed away, the meaning doubly clear. I nodded, and he left.

I turned to the door, breathing in deeply before placing a large smile on my face. It was time.

The ballroom was absolutely magnificent. Yellow roses everywhere, along with others scented the room and gave it a heady and intoxicating smell. Swaths of red, gold, and silver cloth were draped elegantly, thick red velvet curtains and carpet elegantly trimmed the room. Huge chandeliers hung suspended like snowflakes, each crystal polished to perfection. When lit, they appeared to be a thousand fragments of mirrors, shining their light across the huge room. The marbled floor was polished to a shine, and chairs sat on it like thrones. It was one of the greatest sights I had ever seen.

The dining hall was open as well, with shining silver at each chair. The table shone like rich auburn glass. Everything was perfect.

The room was already filled to the brim with swaying couples. The men were finely pressed and buttoned, each one like a trim figurine, erect and handsome. The ladies swayed like upside-down flowers, their skirts spread like petals across the shining floor. They floated from step to step, their towering hair and huge skirts seemingly weightless. I examined each woman with a far-off glance, and realized Madame had done her job well. Not a single gown held a candle to mine.

As I stood watching them all, I felt a great feeling of power and satisfaction, watching the small figures from above as they twirled. From the tall, hidden balcony, I felt as if they were ants, ants I had gathered and had complete control over. I had brought them here. If I said dance, they would dance. The fools.

This feeling was replaced quickly as I spotted a tall, blue-haired man, surrounded by an entourage of people. And on his arm, a slender, beautiful woman with long teal hair.

She had a lovely smile and a faint blush lit her cheeks. Her skin was white as a lily, and she looked delicate and fragile. She wore a pink dress that complimented her hair, and it was simple, with a white trim. She didn't necessarily draw attention to herself, but that didn't mean it didn't come.

People swarmed round her like moths to a flame, and I watched them, fascinated. She laughed and they all smiled, watching her. Her arm was held possessively by Kaito, and he hardly looked away from her, completely smitten. And as she turned to glance at him, she looked at him like he was a god. Love.

Suddenly, I felt a wave of hatred towards this girl. She was so pretty and dainty, with her long hair shining in the light. It was so long, it almost trailed to the floor. She disgusted me.

I eyed Kaito briefly. He was handsome, older than me but well built. His blue hair was mussed carelessly, and he wore a fine coat of deep green. He was very becoming, but didn't hold a candle to Len.

As my thoughts turned to my brother, I immediately turned my eyes from the happy couple to the rest of the room, searching for him. He was standing by the wall, serving drinks. His eyes were watching me, so I turned my face away, lest we both be seen.

An escort came to me then, and I gave him my arm. Trumpets were sounded and I was announced, and began to gracefully descend down the staircase. Music played and everyone bowed and watched. I kept my head high and my hand on the rail. I put a pleasant, detached look on my face and gave faint smiles to the crowd.

My eyes swept over Kaito and his lady. She was looking at me sweetly and expectantly, but I saw Kaito's eyes on his companion. I bit my tongue, and this almost disrupted my act. Luckily I caught myself.

If he only had eyes for her, how was I to even make my case? Somehow they must be separated.

**A/N**

**Hey guys! Sorry I didn't post last week, things were busy! This ones longer to make up for it. **

**So maybe you guys know where this is going, hm? Either way, things are definetly getting interesting... Thanks for the birthday wishes btw, I had a wonderful day and I appreciate it!**

**Anyways~**

**Cookiexo~**

**Thanks! Yes, It is definetly getting more intense! Thanks, I'm glad you like it!**

**Piko is so cute 3 Unfortunately, he will only be seen once more, briefly. :( He's too much Len's rival XD Just kidding~**

**Thank you TAT I try. You guys are great motivators! **

**Thank you! I had a great birthday! Oh, at least you don't have to go to school then! XD**

**Valkyrievampire888~**

**Thank you! Heh, you really think she will? XD Hope you enjoy!**

**Exorcist-Dono~**

**Thank you! Rin is slowly getting worse... I love the crazy ones too XD Although horror isn't exactly my style TAT I'm a big scaredy cat.**

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**Guest~ **

**Thank you~ Of course they do XD**


	12. Chapter 12

Luckily for me, they parted on their own. With a kiss on her hand, he strode away to converse with others, leaving her staring after him moonishly. At first I found myself puzzled of why, but it came to me. It would be impolite and strange to have an unmarried woman on your arm the entire evening. It would cause talk, the girl labeled a mistress, most likely. This concerned me: what was she to him?

I would have gone to Kaito first, but I found the girl more approachable.

"Hello." I demurred. Miku turned, eyes widening. She curtsied, as did the rest of the group.

I smiled at her, hoping to look friendly.

"Your highness." She said soberly. As she revered, I scanned her. Pink cheeks, shining hair, tiny waist. Her sweet smile betrayed no darkness or sneakiness. I wrinkled my nose as she rose from her curtsy. Her face was just so… happy.

"What's your name?" I asked bluntly.

"Miku, my lady." She demurred.

"What a lovely name." I cooed, waving my fan theatrically.

She smiled. "I'm so happy to meet you." She enthused. "I've heard wonderful things." I smiled coyly.

"What's that?" I asked sweetly. I was sure I had her now. Whatever she had heard, it must be awful. She was a liar if she denied it.

She blushed, making me grasp my dress tightly. Everything about her infuriated me.

"Well, your beauty is known throughout every kingdom, my lady."

Gritting my teeth, I pressed my lips into what was hopefully a convincing smile. "How sweet of you to say." I purred.

I stepped closer to her. "I must say, didn't you enter with Prince Kaito?" I asked innocently. She nodded shyly. Grinning, I took her arm.

"You must tell me all about him. I do so much want to get along when we meet; will you help me? I'd hate to embarrass myself!"

The naïve fool smiled widely, with excitement even. Nodding, we began to stroll towards a corner.

"So how do you know him?" I began.

She bit her lip, smiling to herself. "We are good friends. My father used to be the minister of religion."

"Oh." I remarked casually. "How nice. Do you see him often?"

Blushing and looking downwards, she nodded. "We like to enjoy each other's company."

Boy, this girl was not very subtle. Probably never lied in her life. She was as green as a new leaf in spring.

I tried to act as ignorant as she. "What do you two do together?" I probed.

Miku looked thoughtful. "We go for walks, and talk a lot."

"Oh my." I said. "You too must be close." I offered this suggestively and casually and tried to appear friendly. I had never had any girl friends, I thought most petty or idiotic. This one fell into the latter category.

She fell for it. Leaning forward conspiratorially, she revealed: "Yes. I suppose an observant eye like yours must have caught it. It is not too obvious, I hope?"

I restrained from rolling my eyes. "Not at all." I mused. "How lovely though. I wish I had such closeness with another."

As I lied through my teeth, her look grew sadly sympathetic. "I get so lonely." I sighed.

She grabbed my hand. I started, jumping at her touch. Her hands were very warm. Mine must be cold.

"Oh, Princess." She gushed. "I understand how you feel. Before I met Kaito, I always felt a little lonely. But he… he filled that place."

Her eyes shone, and for a moment, I could see it. Her and Kaito.

"Princess, you should come visit us. I would like to visit you. I'm sure your special one is out there simply waiting for you."

Her smile sickened me. She was so sweet, and enthusiastic, and…genuine. She was an angel, a little saint. Untouched and disgustingly pure. Her mind, her soul, her manner. It made me feel bad. It made me, with my mean thoughts towards her, made me feel…guilty.

My mind ran. She wasn't any better than me. How could she be? She had no idea what it was like. If she was in my place, she'd be just like me.

She probably grew up with parents who loved her, simply _adored_ their little green-haired freak. She probably was the type of child who was always surrounded by children, who fought over her like pigs at a sty. When she was older, boys most likely fell over themselves for her, to impress her. No one could possibly look at her with contempt. Everything she did was _perfect_. Even her love was perfect. He wasn't related to her, their love came with no price or danger. They could proudly walk the streets, hand in hand, and no one would look at them in disgust, in revulsion. No one would tear them apart, would separate such a pretty, _perfect_ couple.

I hated her. I hated her and her openness. I knew deep down that she would easily do anything for me, to help me. She would do it with a smile. And I hated her for it.

I felt bile rise in my mouth, but I smiled through it thinly.

"I would like that very much." I lied. I dropped her hand and backed up a few steps.

"I must go, can't neglect everyone else!" I told her sweetly. Her eyes lit up and she nodded.

She waved and gave a bobbing curtsy. "I hope to see you again, your majesty!" She called. I nodded and turned away. I hoped I would never have to meet her again for the rest of her miserable life.

I felt ill. I wanted to go and sit down, breathe. But I had to go see Kaito. I glanced around, and I saw Len drifting over to Miku. Good. However, the sight of her made me furious, so I turned around and grabbed a drink from a passing servant. Downing it, I walked on.

Kaito was also in the midst of a crowd, looking complacent. As I walked towards him, his eyes met mine.

He was handsome, even more so now that I was seeing him up close. His eyes were blue, dark though; Len and I had a lighter and brighter color to ours. Catching myself, I smiled at him.

Seeing me, he made his way carefully through the crowd to me. I observed him, noting how polite and proper he seemed. A good fit for the green haired angel over there.

When we met, he bowed stiffly. I curtsied delicately and gave another winning smile. He gave me a small smile back.

"How do you do?" I asked sweetly, but as he replied politely I noticed his eyes behind me. On her.

I decided to change gears. Turning around to supposedly look at what he was looking at, I made a small sound of false realization.

When I turned back to him, he looked embarrassed that I had noticed his attention elsewhere.

"Were you looking at that girl with the long teal hair?" I asked, giving him an innocent look. Kaito flushed.

"Ah, I was just..."

I smiled and interrupted him. "I just finished talking to her. She told me about you."

His eyes met mine, intrigued and surprised, He stepped closer.

"What did she say?" He asked eagerly, but hesitated once he realized his words. "I mean, did she say anything...noteworthy?"

While I tried to figure out how to turn this around to him, I noticed Len staring at me. Slowly I turned my head right and left, subtly telling him no. To Kaito, it must have just looked like a subtle gesture of looking around.

"Well..." I started once I thought of what to say. "She mentioned how much she admired you. But I got the feeling she wasn't sure if you felt the same."

His eyes got brighter and he glanced at her beyond us. "She said that?"

"Mmhm." I asserted. "But is it true? Do you not admire her as well?"

He looked conflicted, so I decided to take it a step further. I had to know if there was a chance for me and Len.

"Do her doubts of your lack of admiration reflect on her character?" I asked innocently. "I do not know her hardly at all..."

Kaito stood straight and became almost a different man. No longer was he not fully attached to our conversation.

"Not at all! I... I truly admire her, in every degree..." he seemed to beam, his eyes shining with only what I could assume was admiration.

"She is a better person than I could ever be, so kind and caring..." He trailed off, lost in his own visions of her. "She is truly a lady."

Suddenly, after a small moment, h added in a lower tone: "I want to marry her."

I found my mouth twisting in displeasure. Never had someone overspill with such emotions to me. And it did not go unnoticed that he was telling this to me, practically a perfect stranger.

"How nice." I murmured, distracted as my plans unraveled before my very eyes. I began to break out in a cold sweat. I could picture it; I attending his and her wedding as my own world shattered and I became a poor ruler of nothing.

I licked my lips and managed a smile. "I hate to leave so quickly, but I simply must go and attend to a matter I have just remembered. If we could converse later, I would be most pleased..."

He looked a little startled, being brought out of his escapade into some dream world of his. "Of course. I shall look forward to it." he bowed again politely, and I refrained from rolling my eyes. One minute confessing deep feelings, the next formal and distant.

I took my leave, and searched frantically for my brother. He was not where I had last seen him.

After a few drinks and rounds around the ballroom, I finally spotted him. He was in a corner, actually talking to the wretched maiden. Seeing her next to Len, my Len, made me want to scratch her eyes out.

She laughed. He laughed. Why was he laughing? When had I last made him laugh? Seeing this made me feel dirty and exposed again, and I wanted to throw up. I could feel the vileness, the ugly words in my throat.

I wheeled out into the hall, frantically searching for some air, something to cure my rolling stomach and the thoughts that swarmed like bees in my brain. Suddenly, I actually did feel something in my throat. Spotting a potted plant, I sped towards it and promptly emptied my stomach into it.

Feeling weak and cursing myself for drinking, I pulled myself up. I hardly ever drank. It ruined beauty and aged the young, and even worse made one act ridiculous and gave one loose lips. I preferred a clear mind.

I closed my eyes and edged away from the plant. I was glad no one was out here. Yet as the thought entered my clearing mind, I felt a light touch on my sleeve.

I inhaled sharply and my eyes flew open, but it was only Len.

"Rin, are you alright?" He asked urgently. I nodded and glanced down at my dress. It appeared that even when ill, I had good aim and had remained spotless. No sign of my upheaval.

I nodded. "I'm fine, thank you." I murmured. I looked up sharply, meeting his eyes. "How'd you know where I was?"

Len frowned, causing his eyebrows to draw down. "I don't know, I just knew you were in trouble." He looked back at me with almost pleading eyes. "Are you sure you're ok?"

I nodded and smiled. How could I have been so jealous of that girl just a few minutes ago? Len loved me.

"Well, I better go back. We could be seen." Len looked around for others.

"Len, wait." I grabbed his shirtsleeve and pulled him back, my heart pounding all the while.

He gave me a look. "If we stay here any longer, we are going to be seen." He hissed. I narrowed my eyes.

"This is important." I whispered. I clutched at his arm.

He stared at me and turned closer. "Are you sure you're alright? Your cheeks are red."

He felt my forehead for a fever, and for a moment, I relished in the feel of his touch before shaking it off.

"I'm fine. But there's something you have to do, for us." I started.

He looked increasingly concerned at my serious tone. "What is it?" he prompted. I breathed in deeply, the words making forming suddenly in my mind.

"I need you to kill Miku."

**A/N**

**Well aren't things getting interesting? I hope you guys like evil Rin, looks like she's here to stay :D Just kidding...**

**But I hope you guys enjoyed this! Sorry I didn't update last week. Midterms :(**

**Anyways~**

**Catatonic Inspiration~ Aw thanks! I'm glad you enjoy it. And that I converted one more to twincest... muhaha! Thank you for reading!**

**Cookiexo~ Sorry I didn't last week TAT Saw your review on Kagamine Love though and became more determined XD I'm glad I made your day TAT So sweet~**

**There is certainly a rivalry... I just don't think Miku knows XD But here's a bit of Kaito... and even more next chapter. **

**(Psh, I love Len the most.)*dies***

**Yes, yes evil Rin is here and living it up. And thanks~ Haha... Kaito seems otherwise absorbed, you know? Well it will be eventful I assure you XD**

**Valkyrievampire888~ Thanks! if only it would work out that way...**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ Thank you! Ah, you mean the novel version that Akuno-P wrote. It's a little different than the basic plot story. I'm just going by the classic Daughter of Evil/Servant of Evil/Regret Message/Re_birthday song combo. Plus, I'm not really going by the original story anyways~**

**Thanks guys! See you next week for sure!**


	13. Chapter 13

"I need you to kill Miku."

His eyes widened, but he did not step away. Never less, I increased my grip. I prayed he wouldn't think me crazy.

"What?!" Len whispered.

I felt my cheeks grow hotter. "She's going to ruin everything! He's in love with her!" I hissed.

Len checked behind himself and drew us into the next room. It was unoccupied, luckily.

"I thought that's what you wanted!" Len exclaimed quietly. "So he wouldn't bother us!"

I bit my tongue and nodded. "Yes, but he told me something." I stressed. "He wants to_ marry_ her!"

Len let go of me and rubbed his face tiredly before running a hand through his hair.

"I understand, but to kill her? Is that really necessary?" He asked softly.

I nodded. "You saw how in love she was."

He turned away and sat down, putting his head into his hands.

"She's an innocent girl, Rin… She was so nice; surely she deserves love just as we do?"

I tried to calm myself, but my hands shook from my nerves being on such an edge. Still, I walked over to him and kneeled down beside him. In the candlelight, I saw how troubled he was.

"Len." I whispered sweetly, running my hand down his cheek. "Please."

He stared into my eyes, his own dark. I leaned closer.

"It's either their love or ours." I told him. "We cannot do this without him, and he will do nothing with her. And I can't live without you."

Something slowly dawned on Len, and after a moment, he shook it off, his face decided.

"Can you do this for us?" I prompted gently.

"Yes." He said, without further hesitation. He stood and leaned down to kiss me lightly. "For you."

I smiled as I realized this: Len and I could be together. He understood how little this meant in the scheme of our love. She was simply something to overtake; a sacrifice so our love could thrive. And Kaito would never love again after such a tragedy. I wouldn't have to worry about him.

Len was making plans, running through things in his mind. Even though he was deep in thought, I went and slid into his arms, needing their embrace. Immediately they folded around me, and I relaxed. Len would make everything right. He would take care of everything.

He kissed the top of my head. "I'll wait for her to leave the main ballroom, then draw her away. I'll change my clothes and wait for you in my room." He explained.

I nodded and looked up at him. "Sound perfect." I approved, and waited for a kiss. He leaned down and gave me one, but it was much different than I expected. Harder, deeper, more intense than I would have expected. But this seemed to strengthen his resolve, and he bade his goodbye before slipping out the door.

For a moment, I waited in the empty room, caressing the silken tassels of the chair while I thought.

I felt completely relaxed and relieved. Inside, I felt a little mean gladness. Miku Hatsune. She was so…sweet. Pure. It made me uneasy, and a little angry. She was so happy, so nice. It made me feel mean.

But now she, the little obstacle, would be gone. Soon, I would have everything. Kaito, Len, and all the riches I could dream of. No more worries, no more plans. Everything would be perfect.

I returned to the ballroom, finding it easy to smile and enjoy myself. I entertained others with talk and small gestures as a princess should. I danced with countless men, all nameless in my mind. I watched Kaito slyly, but paid no more thought towards Miku. She was as good as gone.

I had a wonderful time for the next few hours. The ball was wonderful, the music beautiful. I was admired and petted, and for once, I enjoyed it. I basked in the light of a thousand candles, and smiled without care. Nothing could touch me, with my goals in such close sight. Nothing.

I went to speak with Kaito after a long while. He was sitting on his own in a secluded corner. I tactfully floated over to him and instructed a chair to be brought so I could sit as well. He smiled at me, but his mind was obviously elsewhere.

I laid my hand gently on his arm, which startled him, so I smiled reassuringly.

"Hello again." I cooed. He smiled again.

"Good evening." He said politely. His eyes darted away, like a rabbit no one could catch.

I giggled quietly, which grabbed his attention. "Your thoughts still on that girl?" I asked. He nodded.

"She must be special." I smiled. He smiled areal smile this time.

"She is." He told me excitedly. "She's the kindest, most beautiful soul. I wish I didn't have to pretend I didn't feel such a way about her."

I sighed dramatically. "I know how you feel." I confided. His eyes showed interest, and he leaned closer. Perfect.

"Really? Do you…as well?" He asked.

I nodded bashfully and unfolded my fan. "Yes, there is someone I also care very deeply for." I murmured. "But woe and behold, the council of my country want me to have a higher marriage…" I glanced at him carefully, sighing again.

"But really…" I leaned closer. "I just want to be with the one I love. You do too, as well?"

He nodded excitedly, grabbing my hand. "That is exactly it! We are in such similar positions. Perhaps-"

He was cut off by a high, trilling scream. Everyone's heads turned towards the west doorway, and many people began rush towards the source.

Kaito stood, letting go of my hand. I sighed to myself; but I would be able to get him later. Right now was an important moment, so I rushed after him as he walked away.

"What was that?" he asked me. I snapped my fan closed and pressed my fingers to my mouth.

"I don't now… I hope everything's alright…" I worried. "Perhaps someone saw a mouse?"

Kaito frowned. "I don't think so…" he mumbled. It took a few moments, but soon the crowd parted for us, and we reached the source of the commotion.

A woman lay on the ground, barely conscious in front of a door. It appeared that she had been the one to scream, and that she had fainted. A few maids fanned her, and I shooed a few of them away so I could talk to the woman.

"What was it?" I urged. The woman, dressed flauntingly in red, had blond hair piled on her head very tall, with little feathers stuck in it. As she moaned and rolled her head a bit, the feathers fluttered.

"A girl…in that room…dead." She whimpered. I gasped and looked horrified. A few guards that had been standing around immediately stepped over the woman and rushed into the room.

"What's your name?" I asked the woman tenderly, trying not to see into the room. "Did you see anyone else? Who could have done such a thing?"

She shook her head loosely, eyeing the crowd with rapt attention. I grimaced inwardly, realizing she enjoyed the spectacle.

"My name is Ann, Duchess of the west region. I saw no one but…" she paused, gathering a sob. "No one but that poor girl!"

Kaito gently tried to push forward. "Who was it?" he asked. As I stood and moved over so he could enter, I noticed his eyes scanning the crowd. Ann was taken away to a nearby fainting couch and fanned, and I followed Kaito into the dark room.

Once my eyes adjusted, I saw everything. The room, despite being cluttered with guards, appeared normal. They were all leaned over a small figure on a couch, and when they shifted, I saw her.

Miku lay as if asleep, her eyes closed peacefully. The only sign of her demise was the dark stain on her pale blue gown that covered nearly the whole front of it. In the dim light, it looked black. Her pale skin was luminescent, her hair shiny even after death. I ran my tongue along my teeth and grasped at my gown, feeling sharp pain inside. She really was dead.

Kaito fared much worse than anyone else in the room. Any composure he had deteriorated on impact, and he began to sob, rushing towards the dead woman. He fell to his knees as he clutched her lifeless body to him. They both rocked with sobs as he held her, tender and loving even now.

Such a scene made my own heart hurt, and I missed Len fiercely. I wished he was here. I backed up and bumped into a guard.

"Princess." He addressed me gently. "You better go; you shouldn't see such things. We can take it from here." I trembled, and nodded, barely able to tear my eyes away from the weeping man and his love.

I tore through the doorway and stood on shaky legs to address the crowd. Everyone stared at me expectantly. I felt like a lone island surrounded by the glaring waves of the sea. I inhaled deeply, trying to clear the choked feeling from my throat.

"A girl was murdered here tonight!" I announced, my voice wavering. "The perpetrator is unknown. Please return to your rooms immediately."

The crowd barely moved, only turned to each other and started to talk. Unable to stand it, I tore through the crowd into the mostly empty ballroom.

The ballroom was no less extravagant than before, but its shine seemed empty, hollow. The chandeliers and mirrors reflected back my image I found glorious before; however, I saw something quite different now. Something I didn't want to see.

I wanted Len. I wanted him to hold me and reassure me. He would be waiting for me upstairs.

I ran across the room and up the red velvet stairs. I was out of breath by the time I reached my room, my corset strings straining.

I rushed into Len's room through my parlor and flung the door closed behind me.

Len did not turn to me; he merely stood at his window. I gasped out of fright when I saw him, for he was covered in blood. His room was dark save for the bright moonlight.

"I did as you asked." Len said in a strange voice. It oddly reminded me of Kaito's when he saw Miku. Was Len…crying?

He turned to me. "She's dead." He gave a small, chocked laugh. His face also had smears of blood, as if he had forgotten his hands were covered in blood and wiped them there.

Everything he wore, from his boots to his tailcoat had at least some red on it. I swallowed hard, trying not to gag.

I held my hands out shakily. "Len, are you…"

He let out a sob, startling me. I rushed to him as he fell to his knees, and I kneeled on the floor next to him, wrapping my arms around him. He sobbed into my shoulder uncontrollably, and I trembled, my hoops pushing against his embrace, the fabric straining.

I was so scared. Never had Len cried like this, not even when he was a child. I carefully moved my hand up and down his back, trying to comfort him. My mind was confused and cluttered, disabling me to think clearly of what I should do.

**A/N**

**Well, Miku's dead... a little different from the story, right? **

**But alas, it might have some repercussions... Len already seems to be in pretty bad mental shape :( Maybe it's time for Rin to take care of Len! **

**So I hope you liked this, and did y'all notice Sweet Ann making her cameo? Just thought it'd be funny. Thanks for reading!**

**Anyways...**

**ScarperTheTheif9~ Thank you! You're so sweet TAT I usually am pretty canon-focused as well, but I often can't stop my imagination XD **

**That is so sad ;-; But that definetly wouldn't work with this story XD **

**hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ Aw thanks! And I'd love to give you tips! Anything specific, or just whatever you've written on here?**

**Cookiexo~ heehee, surprised ya huh? And of course... This may be different than the original story, but I generally like to stick with the same main events~**

**Really? I always thought she was like that in the videos and stuff. Rin doesn't like her at all, though XD**

**Part of it is definetly because Miku makes Rin feel guilty and ashamed because Miku is so nice and innocent and all that. Also because Rin is afraid Len likes that, and since Rin isn't like that, she's jealous... And because she wants her way and is a bit psycho XD WOOHOO A CRAZY RIN! She gets a little more creepy in my opinion in the chapter for next week.**

**Thanks! You'd be surprised though... There is still much to come. I hope there isn't too much drama... *wonders***

**No problem! If I had my way, I'd be writing every single day! And there would be lots of updates... It's my dream to be a writer, so it's easy to be devoted XD**

**XxWhitexKingxX~ Thank you! Wow! That is impressive! In my word document, thats at least 76 pages! Woo!**

**Heehee / I don't write lemons, but it will be... lemonish... Anyways, You guys will know when it's coming! And thanks again! :D**


	14. Chapter 14

Hurriedly I grabbed my handkerchief from my bodice and tried to clean up his hands, but since my hands shook as well as his, my handkerchief wasn't enough for even a single hand. Helpless, I whimpered pityingly, but Len gave no sign of notice. He seemed beyond himself, somewhere else.

I tried to draw inward for some sort of strength. I grabbed his face with my hands.

"Len, please, listen." He did nothing new, just continued to tremble, so I continued. "You need a bath, and we need to burn your clothes."

Len didn't move, so I tried to stand on my own. His grip was too tight, and I couldn't bear his weight, so I sank back down.

Feeling pretty unraveled myself, I realized he was hysterical. So I leaned him away from me and drew back my hand, wincing already in anticipation. I slapped him as hard as I could, but it didn't appear to be very hard. However he stopped and gasped, his hand flying to his cheek.

He looked up at me in shock, and I felt myself crying.

I drew in a breath shakily. "Sorry." I said huskily.

He nodded, and his grip on me lessened considerably.

"Come, we have to get you new clothes and such." I said as I stood shakily, then helped him up. He said nothing but stood.

I faced him, tenderly grasping his shoulders. "It's going to be alright." I told him. He nodded again, and I realized he was still crying. I swallowed the lump in my throat and grabbed his hand. I sat him down on a stool near the fire and left him there to lock his door.

"Len, I need you to stay here. Be quiet, ok?" He nodded, and I kissed his forehead softly, ignoring the red smear.

As I walked, I felt my throat begin to constrict and my stomach tightening as well. Was it anxiety, guilt, my consumption of alcohol? I tried to take some deep breaths, but my mind kept skipping to thoughts I didn't want.

_Murderer. You're a murderer._ The voice in my head was gnawing at me again.

_No I'm not. I didn't even touch her._ Even as I argued with it, I could feel its words hit me

_Oh, so just because you forced Len to do your dirty work means that it's ok?_

_I never said that. But it was for us. We had to. She was going to ruin everything._

_Do you really think this is going to work? You're a fool of you think it is, and if you think you're innocent._

_Be quiet. I hate you._ I hated these thoughts. I hated them. I wanted them to go away.

_Ha, I am you. Fool. I'm probably what's left of your conscience._ It spoke with an ironic tone, only infuriating me further.

_Be quiet!_ I yelled.

_You not only bloodied your own hands further but Len's as well. You've tainted him. Just look at him. He's hurt, but he did it for you. You should be ashame_d.

I swallowed some tears back as they gathered at my lower lashes, but she continued.

_You know why you killed her. You hated her because she was everything you're not. Innocent, sweet, caring, pure. Just simply talking to her made you feel dirty, having cast off and hurt so many. Not to mention you're in love with your flesh and blood…_

_I don't want to hear this anymore!_ I cried in my mind.

_Too bad. You'll never forget this, no matter how much you want to. Remember this: She was good, and standing by her made you realize how bad you are. How evil. You're not as innocent as you want to be. And now, Len knows it too._

Finally I was able to stop the inflow of thoughts, but those words still stayed with me.

I left his room and went to mine, hurriedly taking off my own dress. I then stuffed it underneath my bed, deciding to deal with it later. I unfastened the huge hoops and stepped out of them. I couldn't undo my own corset, so I simply put a nightgown over it.

I grabbed the cord in my room that I sometimes used to call servants. I tugged it twice, the bell ringing out somewhere. A maid soon appeared at my door, out of breath.

"Your Highness?" She asked.

"I would like a bath, so I can retire early." I lied. "This whole affair has left me absolutely exhausted."

She nodded curtly and hurried to alert a few other maids for hot water. One helped me remove my corset, and I put my nightgown back on afterward. I waited on my bed as they brought in the steaming tub of water to transfer it to my porcelain bathtub. The maids walked slower than usual, careful not to slip on the slanted floor. It was slanted so that that water would drain away on the black and white tiles to the long drain strip against the lowest wall.

Once all the water was in and they had poured in a few of my favorite oils-lavender, amber, and my preferred favorite, citrus, - I dismissed them. It took a few tries to convince them I didn't need three ladies of the bath to assist me, but they finally left.

Left alone at last, I went to go get Len, who had not budged from where I left him.

I managed to help him remove most of his outer wear, but decided he could just leave his inner garments on. I wasn't dealing with anything more than I had to today, so embarrassment was out of the question.

Once he was in, I closed the bathroom door and slipped in as well, leaving my nightgown was just big enough for both of us. I grabbed the soap and began to wash his hands and arms furiously. He stared down, his bangs covering his eyes again. I grabbed a bowl that contained extra water and dumped it on his head.

He jumped a bit; startled despite the fact it was warm. I brushed his wet hair away from his face and began washing his face. He watched me, aware this time.

"Rin." He mumbled. I paused.

"What?"

"I can do it now…" he answered. I sat back and gave him the bar of soap. As our hands brushed, I grabbed his.

"Len, why… are you all right?" His hand was slippery, but I tried to keep a good grip on it.

He sighed. "I killed a girl. An innocent girl." His voice was flat, but my heart ached at his words.

"Len…"

"I know. But still. Her blood is on my skin, my hands. I took away her life. And she…" He paused.

"She what?" I prodded. Len looked at me, his eyes full of pain.

"She forgave me."

My brow furrowed, I sank into the water. I felt…ashamed, drained, and confused.

"Why?" I questioned quietly. Len began washing himself, and I wondered if he had heard me.

"That's what I've been wondering." He answered, after a long moment.

I sighed, and tucked my knees to me, my nightgown swirling around in the water. There was a small strip of space between Len and I in the long, wide bathtub, but it felt like much more. He was quiet as the blood was washed off him, and I could not think of a single thing to say.

"Come here." He said shortly after a while. I started from surprise, and he gestured me closer with his long fingers.

"I'll wash your hair." He elaborated.

I turned around and backed closer, freezing when I felt his hands on my waist.

He adjusted me and began gently washing my hair. After he was done, he rinsed my hair with a bowlful of water.

I began to move away, but he wrapped his arms around me and laid his head on my shoulder. I relaxed back into his chest and brought my hand up to caress his wet hair.

"I love you." He mumbled. I closed my eyes.

"I love you too." I said softly. Then I rested my head on my knees and sobbed.

I was exhausted and overwhelmed. My own thoughts haunted me, as well as the image of Miku's dead body. _And now, Len knows it too._ Please, let it not be so. Please let him not know how horrid I am inside. Please.

Len said nothing, but wrapped his arms around me until I stopped crying.

We sat like that for a while, until the water began to grow cold. As I left the bathing chamber, I glanced back. The water was pink.

He managed to get himself new clothes, and while he changed in his chamber, I stripped off my wet nightgown to change as well. As I did, something in me hardened, and I felt something steely cage my thoughts and set them in a new direction.

When he returned to me, I had on a fresh new nightgown and was stoking the fire in my fireplace. I did it clumsily, hardly ever have done it before. He came with his old, stained clothes and threw them in.

"Do we need to do your dress as well?" he spoke softly. I shook my head.

"I'll tell everyone that the stains it has were from being near her body, brushing up against something."

He nodded, and hugged me from behind again, wrapping his arms around me and laying his head on my shoulder for comfort. I leaned my head against his and laid a hand on his downcast cheek. I watched the flames as they devoured his bloody clothes, the only proof of the crime. The flames licked at the yellow fabric, turning them to ash and burning brightly.

It was beautiful, the way it erased those moments in time, in everywhere but the mind. Mine held little of what the clothes had told; only of seeing the finished result. But I knew that in Len's mind burned every image his clothes had with their blood stained cuffs and linen. Len continued to suffer as his clothes burned, but I felt something lift in me.

It was the start of a new chapter for us, Len and I. After this, the world would turn smoothly, and we would be able to be together. I would marry Kaito, and everything would be as according to plan.

The fire would burn on, and everything, I realized, would be perfect.

**A/N**

**Hey guys! Super fast surprise chapter! Were you guys shocked? Just thought It'd be a good little giftie for y'all~**

**Anyways, Anyone thinking Rin might be turning over a new leaf? A new...evil leaf? XD Tell me your predictions for what craziness you think she'll do now? And no, she's not schizophrenic, her conscience is just mouthy XD**

**Anyways... probably wont be another chapter on Wednesday unless I get a lot of reviews or something. I always need more motivation XD**

**Anyways~**

**Cookiexo~ **

**Thank you! No problem~ Hehe small potato in the great expanse of rin's "evil" plans XD **

**Ah I see~ Everyone's been telling me about the novel, but I read it such a long time ago it really doesn't influence my story XD Plus it has such a huge expanse and entanglement of characters. I'm not such a great writer that I can easily write about a bunch of characters at one time TAT**

**When you kidnap Len, take him here so we can share him before he must go back to Rin. He can sing Spice and World is Mine all night long to us XD**

**At least chapter 20. I'm almost sure. Yea. *can't think about numbers***

**OOOOHHH brain freezes hurt! May your pain last only a second TAT **

**You wanna name your future kid after me? XD Chibirini would be a strange name for a child XD My real name is Alexa, but that may not be any better XD But you are welcome to them, it would be a GREAT HONOR! *spins***

**Ooh lucky! I may update Kagamine Love later, so feel free to go to town over there XD I do enjoy them, and look forward to talking to you TAT**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ Sent in PM! Hope they helped!**

**ScarperTheThief9~ I know, me too TAT Sobs everywhere, especially...at the end... TAT Rin isn't the best with time, you'll see that later... But she's also pretty darn crazy XD **

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy! I'm gonna go read some Fruits Basket. I love that shit.**


	15. Chapter 15

Len could not move on. His handsome face, smooth and patient, revealed nothing of the fire that raged in his mind until he succumbed to sleep. Then his features would become twisted, and he would twist and groan in his nightmares.

They happened almost every night. I would wake before they really escalated because I could no longer feel his body curved into mine. But I could tell.

His face would contort his jaw tight. He wouldn't wake even when I called his name; shook him. Within a few minutes he would begin to move as if awake, trying to escape such terrors and guilt he felt. He was hard to control. He tried so hard to fight against it, and he once hit my arm so hard it left a bruise. He was incredibly apologetic when he finally woke, even wanting to sleep elsewhere so I couldn't bear any more harm.

But I insisted. I wanted to help him, and I felt somewhat guilty for his nightmares. I was so blindly focused on Len, I didn't even realize what I had really caused.

I also insisted because he kept away my nightmares. They weren't scary really, but left me filled with horrible emotions and haunting guilt I had experienced that night. I barely remembered what they contained, just the after taste they brought. But with Len there, they came less often. So I bore a few bruises and fewer hours of sleep.

When Len finally did awake from his pursuing nightmares, he would be in worse condition than when he was in the dreams. Then was when he really needed me.

He would have his fits as he did when we were small. Panicking, he would gasp for breath and his heart would beat faster than a birds wings. He could never manage to calm himself down; so as when we were younger, I helped him.

"Len, breathe. Breathe with me."

Bathed in sweat and eyes bright with craze left over from his night terror, Len breathed too fast and quick. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, prompting him to copy me. I held his shaking hands as firmly as I could with my small ones. Len's eyes focused on a point beyond me, so I edged my face closer and squeezed his hands tighter.

"Len, look at me. Look at me!" I commanded.

His eyes fixated on me and I nodded as I breathed. Gradually, his breathing slowed and his eyes focused further. His grip was so tight it hurt. I tried to ignore it.

"There we go." I cooed. "It's alright, calm. Calm."

As Len's color returned, he withdrew his trembling hands from mine and turned away. I sighed. He was embarrassed once again; his face flushed with shame.

I slid myself to sit next to him on the bed. He held his hands tightly together as if to stop their shaking, but they just quivered as one. I rubbed his back and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Sorry." He mumbled. I shook my head.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." I refused. "You can't help it."

His cheeks colored more. "I'm supposed to take care of you, not the other way around."

I smiled and shook my head once more. Ignoring his listlessness, I climbed onto his lap and faced him.

"Stop that." I ordered. "We take care of each other. Twins, remember?"

I grinned and touched my forehead to his. Spreading my fingers, I pressed my outstretched hand to his. Our hands used to match exactly when we pressed our palms and fingers together; now of course he was bigger, his fingers longer too. But still, I could fell the warmth of the blood that ran through each of his veins through his skin: blood that matched mine, that ran through my own veins. Suddenly I was reminded of that thought before: _Your own flesh and blood._ I shuddered.

He lifted his lips into a small smile and kissed me lightly.

"You are my light, you know that?" He mumbled. I closed my eyes and rested my head onto the crook of his shoulder.

"Tell me once more." I plead playfully, somewhat. I really want to hear him say it, to convince me of what I'm not, and what he sees me as.

His arms came around me to embrace me, and I smiled a bit.

"My light in the darkness." Len said softly. "My Rin."

* * *

Weeks passed, and reports were dismal. There was no rain, they said. There were uproars in the west. Accounts of starvation in the north. A whole town had been set on fire.

With each one, I rubbed my temples and threw the reports away. I could do nothing for them anyways. Not until I got Kaito.

Len worsened. I noticed him picking at his food, and his face grew thinner. His expression sadder. At night, he didn't want to read his books. He just lay close to me. I held his hand, and he said nothing.

Inside he was hurting. I knew. Wasting away… something inside was eating away at him alive. Miku.

But I kept myself together. Even though food tasted like sawdust in my mouth, even though headaches plagued me relentlessly, I still kept my chin high and smiled grimly at everyone. They would see how capable I was.

Then a letter came.

_To Her Royal Highness Princess Rilianne Kagamine, _

_It has been concluded that the murder of Miku Hatsune was one premeditated by someone in your staff or court. Being that she was the daughter of an important political advisor and a close friend of His Highness Prince Kaito Shion, this is held as a strike against the Blue Kingdom and will not be taken lightly. The Blue Kingdom has severed all bonds between the Blue and Yellow Kingdoms, and will take appropriate actions. Safe conduct for citizens of The Yellow Kingdom will not be allowed to pass the border._

_~The High Court of The Blue Kingdom and His Royal Highness Prince Kaito Shion_

I fell to my knees, the parchment leaving my hand and falling to the ground. The Blue Kingdom had declared war.

* * *

Once war broke out, everything fell apart. Including me.

I sat in my room, refusing to leave or do anything. It was all hopeless anyways. But even as I confined myself, the number of dwindling maids and court did not go unnoticed.

When I finally mustered up the thought to ask Len, he informed me that almost he entire court and over half the help had fled. Whether it be war or an uprising, they had left. Len assured me there were still plenty enough guards to protect me, but I dint really care at the moment.

Even Claire, the most loyal of ladies handed in her resignation. At least she did it in person. But I was too far gone.

"Mistress, please!"

I stood over her as much as I could; being very short. I could feel my arms shaking. They trembled to hit her. My legs shook underneath my nightgown as I stood. Strands of my hair fell into my eyes, but I did not brush them back.

"How dare you desert me at this time." I hissed in a deadly tone. My eyes widened.

"Mistress, you aren't yourself… please, consider it! My family has to be safe!"

I raised my hand, my eyes widening further. But before I could decide whether to hit her or not, a cool hand slipped aroud my wrist.

"You better go, Lady Claire." Len said smoothly. "Thank you for coming and informing the Princess yourself. Very courageous." He smiled a small smile.

She nodded tearfully and backed away. I shook, frozen by Len's touch.

As she left, she turned back for a moment.

"You were a kind lady." She whispered. "You _were_."

Once she was gone, my knees buckled. Len caught me and cradled me against his chest. His eyes were tired, his skin pale.

"Len…" I tried to say, but it cam out in jagged syllables, for even my teeth were chattering as if I were cold.

"Shh. Lay down." He instructed me gently, laying me on the bed.

I turned away from him into the pillow. "What's wrong with me?" I asked. I had wanted to strike the closest thing I ever had to a friend. Just for wanting to live, and to keep her family safe. I had become a monster.

I felt him sit. His hand rubbed my back monotonously.

"You're just sick." He soothed. "Get some rest."

I sobbed until I fell asleep.

* * *

Only Len stood by me. When I made the effort to get dressed and walk down the empty, unkempt halls, the few guards and people left stared at me with angry eyes. It was as if I had discovered myself at the bottom of a deep hole. There wasn't even any blue sky to look up at.

It was comforting to have Len down there with me, but he also reminded me what brought him there: me.

A few nights later came the beginning of the end. I had fallen asleep after throwing everything and anything breakable in my vicinity against the walls. They cracked and shattered loudly. It gave me joy and a weird sense of relief.

Once I had tired myself out-and broken everything- I fell into a deep sleep. When awoke it was dark, and I could feel Len's arms around me. Shifting a bit, I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

It was a light, dreamless sleep, but interrupted by the sound of breaking glass. This puzzled me even unconsciously, for I had broken everything, right? What could be making such sounds…

A close one drug me out of sleep, making my eyes open. There was that sound again. Over there. After a moment, I realized it; it was someone _stepping_ on the fragments I had created.

Len was here. I was here. Who else was here? In my sleep-addled mind, it didn't add up. Unexpectedly, my heart began to beat fast.

I elbowed Len gently, afraid to move. But he did not wake immediately. After a few times, he stiffened with awareness.

He mumbled something, but the crunching sound did not stop. It was coming closer. Or was it?

Whilst trying to figure out what to do next, I suddenly saw a glint in the dim light of the moon, above Len and I.

"Len!" I gasped, but he was pushed away from me. For a moment, I saw two glittering eyes in the moonlight and I gasped again, my heart in my throat and my body frozen in fear.

Sounds of a struggle and a few grunts were heard. A mumbled oath and the hiss of pain. Finally, a long, low moan.

I gaped into the darkness, but suddenly Len's arms were around me.

"Rin." He breathed, holding me close. He kissed me again and again, smoothing my hair and pressing me to him.

I tried to breathe, but panic had seized me, so my lips gaped and trembled. What had happened? Who was that? Why was he here? Was Len hurt? What if-

Len held me a little bit apart from me and scrutinized me.

"Are you hurt? Did he touch you- Rin?" his eyes grew wide. "Breathe Rin, breathe!"

I wanted to, but it was if my lungs had closed. After a moment, Len pressed his lips to mine.

Unexpectedly, he breathed. Pushing the air down my throat through our sealed lips, I gasped as the oxygen hit my lungs and filled them.

I pushed myself away and gulped air down, feeling my heart beat frantically like a hummingbird. Len pressed me carefully to him, and suddenly my legs felt weak.

Len picked me up and held me close, nuzzling my head lovingly.

"That's it. Breathe, love. Good, just calm down."

I shook as Len set me on the bed. As I left the circle of his arms, a fright seized me.

Len left me for a moment, and suddenly guards filled my bedroom.

"Is the Princess alright?" I heard a guard ask gruffly as I heard something being dragged across the floor.

Lens voice surprised me. "Yes, just frightened. But what I'm more concerned about is how a complete stranger managed to enter a guarded palace. Do you know this could have happened?"

There were a few mutterings. "Perhaps one fell asleep on the job." A man suggested.

"That's unacceptable." Len raised his voice, it becoming like cold steel once more. "If I hadn't been in the next room she'd be dead."

The realization of this on my part struck then, and I inhaled sharply. All the men with the exception of Len looked at me. Their eyes held no concern or care. In fact, there was deadly intent. The silence was alarming and deadly quiet.

"It won't happen again." A voice said quietly.

"You see that it doesn't." Len replied sharply. "Dismissed."

They left, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly for a moment. My stomach hurt, and I felt faint.

Len went to light the candles, their smoky light illuminating his face every time one seized flame.

As he came close, I managed a strangled sound and reached out for him.

He softened at the sight of my fearful face and gathered me into his arms. I breathed easier, relaxing in his arms. He got into bed and held me, rocking me back and forth.

"It's ok; no one's going to hurt you." He murmured. "I'm right here. I'm here."

I couldn't stop crying, so I just pressed my face into his shirt and sobbed. Len lay down with me still clinging to him like a vine.

"Sleep, Rin. Close your eyes. I won't leave you; nothing is going to hurt you."

I did close my eyes, but Len was wrong. I did get hurt. As I fell into sleep, a dream seized me through and through.

* * *

_I was small. Everything seemed bigger. I walked down the corridor inaudibly, and noticed that this place seemed familiar._

_A door. I reached up for the elongated doorknob and pulled it open just for me to peer inside._

_Mother. A long forgotten woman, fully in front of me. Inside, something begged for her._

_Long blonde hair drawn up perfectly. Spotless red dress, redder than blood on snow. Black lace trimmed it. And a broach of shining topaz. If you looked into its amber surface, your face could be reflected in gold._

_She did not turn to the door, nor smile. She rarely smiled._

"_Mother?" I asked anxiously, but she appeared not to hear, only walking over to the mirror. A servant brought her a case of powder and walked past me as if I wasn't there._

"_Mother!" I cried, but she only examined the milky white skin she wore, twisting her head this way and that. _

_Alarmed, I ran to her, brought my small hands down onto her skirt. Shaking her, I peered into her face as I continued to call out her name._

"_Mother! Mother!" She did not look at me._

_I ran out of the room, knocking into things blindly. Any servant or courtier I passed, I tried to speak to. But no one even looked at me, no one heard._

_I sobbed in the corner of a room, alone and desolate. Suddenly a hand like frost grazed my shoulder._

_I turned, and saw Len. He was my age, but had an emotionless expression. _

"_Len?" I asked hopefully, and his eyes narrowed. I thrust myself forward and embraced him, glad someone had finally heard me._

_He was cold, like holding a boy of ice. I drew back and his expression had turned disapproving._

"_What's wrong?" I asked. His blue, icy eyes met mine._

"_You'll never be me."_

_I inhaled sharply. "Wh-what?" _

_His gaze did not waver nor stray. "You will never be as good as me. You are only a poor copy." He spat. "Not only that, but you aren't innocent. You're mean, jealous, cruel, unkind, uncaring, irresponsible…"_

_I gasped and took a step back, falling into curtain of fabric. Looking up, I met my mother's gaze._

"_Wretched girl." Her tone was colder still. "Useless and bothersome. Get out of my sight. You are tainted."_

_I scrabbled up, backing away from both. But soon I was surrounded, by courtiers, ladies, councilmen, everyone._

"_She let her own brother leave. Let her fend for herself."_

"_It should have been you." _

"_Not even worth a second glance."_

"_Just a bad spare." _

"_Mean, spiteful girl."_

"_Leave her to die."_

"_Leave her to be alone."_

"_Worthless."_

"_Pathetic."_

"_Evil."_

_I cowered and cried, but suddenly felt Len's stare on me. I met his eyes, praying for something. Anything._

_His lips parted. _

"_You should have never even existed."_

"Rin!"

I woke with a horrible start, shaking and feeling cold wet tears on my cheeks. But there was a warm hand on my back.

"Rin, what's wrong?" Len asked urgently, rubbing my back and holding onto one of my cold trembling hands.

"A-a nightmare." I managed. Reliving the images, I bit my lip so hard it bled.

Len pressed a handkerchief to my mouth and embraced me tenderly.

"Tell me." He whispered, holding me close. I shook my head.

Len looked at me sternly. "Don't block me out." He said.

I swallowed hard, gagging slightly at the metallic taste of my own blood.

"No." I told him. "It was nothing."

For a long moment, Len stared at me. I looked away. Finally, he exhaled a long breath.

"Alright. Do you think you can fall back asleep?"

I nodded, and we did, with him making sure to hold me close. As if he could fend off night terrors with his presence.

"Len." I began in a small voice. "Do you love me?"

"I tell you that every day." Lens voice held surprise.

"Once more." I prompted.

"I love you." He said, with a smile in his voice. My lip trembled as I held back tears of relief.

"Me too." I whispered, hoping it was enough to keep the dreams away. At least for now.

But no. Each night held another type of terror, each one similar but slightly diferent. I awoke from them feeling more rattled than the last, and began to fear sleep. How I wished for a dreamless sleep. How I prayed.

Len seemed to be doing better, at least at night. He no longer woke me; instead it was I who woke him every night. Or so I thought, until one night.

I woke up with a gasp, bathed in a cold sweat. Len was gone.

I swallowed back the air I gasped as I came from my own nightmare, allowing my heart to calm before I went looking for him.

He was in the parlor, sitting on the window bench and gazing out across the dark earth.

"Len?" I said quietly, coming up behind him. He jumped a bit, but welcomed my embrace as I slid my arms around his chest. I rested my chin on his shoulder and stared out as well.

"Did I wake you, Rin?"

I shook my head. "No." I held my tongue of why I actually woke up, and it occurred to me it might be why Len was up.

I looked at him. "Did you have a bad dream?" I asked softly.

Len was silent, but he couldn't keep me out. I knew.

"Oh Len…" It was Miku, I knew. I felt guilty almost immediately, but brushed it off.

"I'm sorry." Len murmured.

I nuzzled my head into him, trying to think of what to say without betraying that I was hurt he did not seek me out for comfort.

I bit my tongue. "She forgave you." I reminded him.

Len lifted his head. "I don't."

I felt angry. Irrationally angry. Wasn't I enough for the cause?

But because he was so distressed, and I felt his pain through my veins like my own, I took a deep breath.

"Come back to bed." I prompted gently. After a moment, he came, and we fell back asleep; intertwined as always. But the next night it happened as well, and it would have happened the night after that, if the night had went its usual path.

**A/N**

**I think you all know what happens next. But you wont really know till next week...**

**Anyways, Rin and Len both seem to be having a bit of trouble... and Who expected war from Kaito? Sometimes its hard just to write in Rin's perspective, because there's so much going on behind the scenes she sees.**

**Rin's dream I think gives a bit more perspective into her motives and "Evilness." Her fears, insecurities, etc. Crazy lady~**

**I hope y'all had a happy Halloween! I took my cousin out trick or treating and watched Rebecca ^-^ It was very good~**

**Anyways~**

**XxWhitexKingxX~ Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D **

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ I'm glad to hear! Aw thanks :'D**

**Cookiexo~ Yay for all the Rins :D Just kidding XD**

**Close! The blue country declares war on yellow~ To avenge his poor Miku of course. And Because Kaito may have met a certain red warrior who has very strong opinions... Kaito may have seen blinded by love, but he seems to realize that SOMETHING was fishy.**

**Ha, so optimistic XD But surprisingly, Luka does come into the story later o.o Very interesting how you guessed it XD**

**Yay! A baby is gonna be named after me someday :'D I'm so happy TAT I hope your opinions doesn't change when it gets er, a bit more angsty... **

**Haha rub a dub dub two crazy twins in a tub XD Well, I guess only Rin is a bit mad. MY BATH RHYMES ARE COOL! So is my perviness owo**

**Anyways, I look forward to your "creepy" reviews XD I just hope you all won't be mad after chapter 16 comes out... TAT**


	16. Chapter 16

That night, that fateful night, I was abruptly awoken from my dreams to a sharp reality.

It started with a hum that penetrated my terrible dreams, but it soon became louder. The sudden crash of glass completely jolted me, and my eyes flew open.

I was still laying encircled by Len's arms, but for once, felt uneasy despite the security they held. He slept on, but the hum of angry voices kept me from thinking I had just heard something.

For a moment, I hesitated. Maybe it was because I was warm, pressed against Len's chest, the feeling of security still lingering there. Fragile, but covered my mind with a sheen of peace. Or perhaps it was because inside, I knew. I knew this was fleeting, the last time I would lay there with him. So for a moment, I hesitated.

After a moment I sat up, the blankets pooling around me. Len stirred as I left him, and with another crash of glass he started awake.

"Rin?!" he called out into the darkness, but calmed immediately when he found me next to him. He sat up while finding my hand and listened. The roar grew louder, and the windows were starting to glow ominously.

"Len…what is that?" I murmured. He slid out of bed. I tried to follow, but he halted me with his hand. Without a word, he looked at me. I stayed.

As he walked to the window, I saw his face in the glow from the light outside. His expression became one of astonishment and fear, and he immediately backed away from the window.

"Len?" I said urgently, sliding myself out, but he swiftly turned and went to me.

He quickly pulled me to him, holding me tightly. He brought our faces close, so close that I could feel his warm breath on my own lips.

"Listen, Rin. I'm going to try and get us some help, but you stay here. Don't get up, ok? I'll be right back."

I pulled away and nodded. His arms fell, but one caught my hand.

"I love you," he told me. These words, usually comforting and warm, made me feel uneasy. What was so horrid that he would say it with such fear, as if he wasn't sure of himself? I nodded again and sat.

Once he was gone, I tucked my knees to my chest as I waited on the bed. Shivering in my thin nightgown, I brought his pillow to my face and buried my head in it, trying to block out the noise, but it became louder still.

My curiosity burned. My stomach tightened with nerves, my head throbbed. I held out, but Len did not return, so I decided to check out the window. I creeped to it, grabbing the rich velvet curtain as I looked out from the side.

A sea of people, chanting and screaming like savages. Holding bright flames in their hands as well as other things, they waved them in the air angrily. I brought my ear closer to the glass and realized what they screamed.

"WE WANT THE PRINCESS! WE WANT THE PRINCESS!" As I stood there, I trembled. The crowd was so large; I could not see the end of it, even from up here.

As the shouts grew louder, they changed.

"DAUGHTER OF EVIL! DAUGHTER OF EVIL!"

In a moment, I decided. I turned and went to my wardrobe, hurriedly selecting a gown. I did my best to lace myself up; luckily I still had my corset on, having fallen asleep after another one of my fits. Once it was on, I went to the double doors that lead to the balcony outside my room. I opened the doors and flung them away.

The chants fell over me as the sound vibrated in my ears. Never had I heard something so loud, and so angry. And it was directed at me.

The hate was astounding; it came in waves off the people. This was something I could have never in my wildest dreams imagined, a nightmare come true.

A ripple went over the crowd as I stepped onto the balcony, and it silenced for a moment. I nodded to the crowd numbly, completely unsure of what to do. And then they screamed again, at their best. I nodded again. _Yes, let the hate flow over me._ I thought numbly. _Let me drown in it. Direct it at me._

The noise was deafening, and I was completely mesmerized by the crowd. I had no feelings, hold of fright, and as I stood there, it occurred to me that what they sought was me, dead.

Through the fog I heard his voice.

"Rin!" Len had indeed returned, and he flew to the balcony to drag me away. I made a sort of strangled noise as he dragged me away from the beating crowd.

He slammed the doors hard and locked them all while holding me. As soon as we were away from the door, he turned me to face him, hands on my shoulders.

"Rin. Rin! Concentrate." I was trying not to cry while trying to catch my breath, and I felt myself sinking because my knees wouldn't hold me up.

I began gasping even more once I reached the cold marble floor. I saw my own reflection in the polished floor. My face was white, eyes wild. My hair hung in straggly strands around my face. I looked like a ghost.

"Sweetheart…I'm sorry."

Len lifted me back up and slapped me, hard. The sting if it was like a spark to my mind, and I inhaled deeply, breathing normal again, panting as I stared at him in disbelief.

He bit his lip as he watched me stare at him in shock. "Sorry. But you can't fall apart right now." I nodded as he gingerly placed his hand to my red cheek in regret. His eyes moved quickly, darting around.

"Can they be suppressed?" I breathed. Len gave me an incredulous look.

"They have almost completely surrounded us. Almost everyone left in the palace has fled."

"Bastards." I ground out, narrowing my eyes. "How dare they desert me! I'll-"

"Hush." Startled by this stern command, I snapped my mouth shut. He looked into my eyes. He was so serious, his eyes had turned dark. "They are coming, Rin, and there's no way to hold them off. There's only one thing we can do, and you are going to do it, because it's the only thing I can think of. There's not much time."

I nodded again. He took a deep breath, but the crystal, piercing sound of glass breaking was heard. I jumped at the sound, and Len grabbed my arm protectively. We waited, and heard no closer sounds.

He turned back to me and started taking off his shirt. "There's no time to explain. Take off your clothes."

I blushed and leaned back. What the hell? This was no-

"Rin! Do it now! We are going to switch clothes!"

With that, I froze. My brain flew as I realized his plan. He looked up at me due to my immobility, and I slapped him.

"No! You promised me!" I screamed, backing away. "No!" His eyes widened, and I clutched at my arms, clawed at them. My heart began to beat fast, I could hear it in my ears.

His shirt gone, he held his hands out to me. "Please, Rin. I'm sorry, but I have to protect you."

"You'll die! In my-" A sob escaped me. Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. Throbbing sounds were blocking out everything as I breathed faster. "In my place!"

He looked at me helplessly. "I love you, Rin. I could never let you die."

"Oh, but I can?! Since I'm such a…" My breathing hitched into another sob. "A h-heartless creature, like they say? No! I forbid it!"

He simply stared at me. I licked my lips and straightened my back. "I command you!"

He was suddenly by my side, lips in my ear. "Well, I'm not leaving. Would you rather us both die?"

Startled by his warm breath suddenly at my ear, I inhaled shakily before answering. "No! I will die for my own sins. It's better than living without you. And if you refuse to leave..." I placed my hands to my eyes, to force the tears back in. My mind was everywhere, focusing on irrelevant things.

"But if they find me with you, the princess…" he told me with a emotionless expression, "They will torture me, for staying loyal to you. If you go, it will be swift. And who says they will not pardon you?"

I bit my lip and grabbed onto him, sobbing into his bare shoulder. "I can't …I can't let you do this Len." He kissed my neck and pressed me close to him.

"Don't worry. No one will notice; we're twins after all, aren't we?" he smiled at me and I sobbed harder. If only we weren't. If only! Damn this fate. If only I hadn't… I don't even know. Regret flooded over me, sharp and cutting.

He sighed, brushing some of my hair back. "If you're not going to cooperate, I'll have to do this the fast way." He glanced at the door before returning his gaze to me, tenderly kissing my lips. "I'm sorry, my love."

Before I could react, he quickly spun me around, and began undoing my dress. I immediately started thrashing but he held me firmly against the printed wallpaper. I screamed for him to stop.

"Stop Rin!" he commanded. "Do you want them to find us both?" I shook my head and cried, placing my arms above my head to rest on the wall. He kept one hand on my waist to keep me from running and to keep my waist steady. I could feel him undoing my corset, his fingers moving quickly as he yanked the ribbons from the holes. I felt shame the entire time. How could I be so selfish to let him do this?

He turned me back around and ripped the dress off as well as my corset. I stood there in my shift, numb as he handed me his shirt, then pants. I stared at them in my hands, but couldn't stop the endless tears. My hands felt weak, like I could barely lift them. What was I to do?

He slipped on my dress rapidly, buttoning it up himself. He tucked something in the bodice and threw the corset under the bed. He saw me and sighed, taking the clothes from my shaking hands. He slipped the shirt on me and quickly did those buttons.

"Hands on my shoulders." He instructed, as he helped me into the pants. He switched our shoes and took out his band, hastily putting my own hair up. After that, he tied a dark cloak on me, even as I continued to sob into my hands helplessly. He gently pulled them down; putting an envelope into them I had not seen before.

He stared into my eyes. "Take this to the green country. Go to the town of Delisia, not far from the border. There's money in the envelope; I exchanged almost all the jewels left for money a week ago. Find a woman named Luka and give this to her. Do not tell anyone who you are."

I couldn't even nod. He kissed my forehead. "Go, Rin. I love you."

He turned to leave, but I grabbed onto his sleeve. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I saw Len's books on the nightstand, he hadn't touched them in a long time. As I picked them up, wrapping them in a blanket, I tried to swallow.

"Len, I-I-I…" _Get control_, I told myself as he turned back. "I'm sorry, and I l-love you."

He smiled at me, a picture I would hold in my mind forever. He clutched me to him and pulled me in for a deep kiss. Even at a time like this, I still felt that spark, that moment of closeness and perfection, like a wave of warmth over my freezing body. I loved him, and feeling how close we were, our bond, for a moment I didn't regret that we had been born twins. Yet here we were again, just like we were nine years ago. I had everything in the palm of my hand, I was in control, I ruled the world. Yet… everything I stood on crumbled into the wind.

"Go." He whispered as our lips parted. I nodded as tears blurred my eyes, and ran.

I would be the one running away this time.

The crowd was deafening as I pushed my way through it. I had been barely noticed, and right then I was just trying to get out, but was at the risk of being trampled.

They shouted loudly, for me. My cheeks burned as tears dribbled down my face, but no one noticed. I was shoved constantly to the point where I was barely even walking, just being pushed forward. Clutching my sad little bundle tightly to myself, I bit my lip till it bled to keep from crying out.

Suddenly a cheer rose up. I turned and immediately my eyes were drawn to the balcony I had stood on not an hour before.

There he stood. In custody of two others, people I could barely make out, but I could see him. He tossed his hair and struggled against their grasps, then sneered in the face of the crowd. Playing the part of me. Or at least what they thought I was.

Seeing him made my throat close. There was no way they wouldn't kill him. After everything I'd done, and the pulsing anger of the people, I would be sentenced to death. And of course, Len would pay the price.

Words pushed up through my throat; in a moment I'd be screaming. I couldn't, I couldn't. Time stood still, I felt my eyes blur and my mouth close with the hot fiery words in it, burning my throat. I must contain them, I must, for Len. For Len? What was right and wrong here? I was so confused, I felt faint. For a moment I recalled the lady who had found Miku's body and her fainting, her black eyelashes fluttering dramatically. I felt like I was going to be sick.

I turned and fled, for my heart knew what Len wanted. But his own plans would have to be delayed. I had to keep trying; I had to save my brother.

**A/N**

**Big sad moment TAT I was so sad when writing this ;-; I hope you guys aren't too sad reading it!**

**I'm wondering if you guys think this story is going on a bit long- this is the longest story I've ever written, and we've still got at least 5 more chapters to go. Probably more. Who can say.**

**So what do you guys think? Dragging on too long, or you don't mind...?**

**But anyways, next week on Thursday I'll be going home for a whole week! I'm so happy TAT I'll be sure to have lots of writing time owo**

**I'm excited~ Yeeeaaa! I miss my family TAT College is hard! I'm supposed to be writing a research paper right now XD**

**Anyways...**

**Cookiexo~ **

**Aw, you say that every time! Surely not~**

**Kaito likes to jump the gun, especially since he's got Meiko urging him on. And I hope so too TAT MAybe they will, maybe they wont't... *sighs***

**I feel bad now, maybe I'm a prophet o.O But that sounds cool! I'd totally be scared though too.**

**I mentioned her in this chapter, so you might be able to tell her part in the story~ She's kind of important, in the end.**

**I'm glad you like angsty, or else you'd probably hate this story TAT Ahaha sadistic XD Just a tad is good for the health~ **

**You are no more crazy than me, and definetly not Rin XD She's got crazy mind stuff! But evil is good, makes everything interesting XD But you just seem sweet to me! And your reviews always motivate, they all do *hugs* I don't like to do that thing where authors "ask" for reviews, but I really really love them so it's haaarrdd not to TAT Blah, stupid shallow author problems XD**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ XD Creepy indeed! XD**

**XxWhitexKingxX~ Thank you! Sorry to keep you waiting! I like writing dreams, you can do whatever you want in them! But yea, she's not been very good TAT**


	17. Chapter 17

I would never defy Len's efforts and let myself be discovered, but I could not leave him here.

So I did not leave the city; instead I found a place of lodging, and paid a month in advance with some of the money he gave me.

Wearing the clothes he gave me, I did little but pace the streets during the day. I circled the tower, the ominous jail of my brother. I did nothing to attract attention but stare with tears in my eyes at the fortress.

I ate little, not having the stomach for food or the money. I wanted to save it, I was fearful of losing it. For once, I realized how valuable things could be. Money and time, these things were not indispensable.

The first night, I cried alone in my room. Helpless, confused and angry, I had no idea what to do next.

I had nothing. No brother, no belongings, no clothes, no purpose. I was nothing, just a face in a sea of people. I had never felt so lost, never in my life. I had always been the center of everything. To awaken to a world where I was not and perhaps never was, was bitter and made my mind spin.

Other than stalking the streets and thinking, I read Len's books.

Reading his books again and again didn't bring much clarity to my situation, but I kept trying to understand. Perhaps they would shed new light on my brother, and why he would do this. And most importantly, how to change his mind.

When I walked the streets, I learned much. Ever since that night, things began to change.

Tattered red and yellow flags of the rebellion began to fly all over. Patchy hats of the same color were made for boys to wear as they ran about the street, showing off their badges of freedom. Initially confused about this rebellion, I soon learnt much.

The main goal was to search out those in favor of the monarchy or had been close to me. They were quickly imprisoned and then put to death. I listened as people I had once seen every day were captured, then silenced forever. It made me sick, but I did my best to appear supportive and therefore free of scrutiny.

For the rare villagers who still held onto the old ways and supported me, they were quickly met with hostile neighbors and ostracism. They either left in the night or were driven out by a spontaneous house fire or injury. Their number dwindled rapidly.

Another group that also left was boys. All men age fifteen and up were put into sad, gray uniforms and sent off to the front. Although the blue country seemed to fully agree with my takedown, they wanted the yellow country for themselves. The yellow civilians, already have overthrown one monarchy, were not so eager to be under another. The leader of the yellow rebellion parted ways with Kaito, and began a deadly war.

Mothers wept openly as they said goodbye to their sons, sweethearts and wives waved bravely while blinking back tears. I felt no empathy for them. Their loved ones had a chance to return.

Devastation rocked the country. Lack of funds, food, and resources made our army weak and villagers sickly. Quarantines were common to see, and I shivered in the thought that I would simply die by disease. I was careful about what I ate and where I went. After all of Len's sacrifice, to die in such a manner would be an insult.

Len. I listened for him every day as I prowled the streets and listened in the dismal, dark shops. There was always talk: There would be no trial, no time or council for that, execution by hanging was not appropriate, the execution would be in a few months supposedly, the sentence would be delivered privately. Nothing good to hear, but I listened all the time.

I had to see him, had to find out how much time he had. Had to try and convince him to switch.

But how? As I sat alone in my room, I pondered on this. I could perhaps disguise myself as a guard. Too risky, too easy to be found out. The only people who were allowed to see high treason prisoners were guards, people of the law, and priests. I didn't know much about law. But perhaps I could be a priest!

After a month of deliberating, listening, and planning I was ready. I acquired a worn bible, wore my robes and darkened my eyebrows with a burnt matchstick. The less I looked like Len, the better. It made me look a little older too. Underneath my shirt, I had bandaged up my breasts carefully. I didn't want to take any chances. Along with the bible, I took along some money. If my story didn't convince the, perhaps money could.

I went straight to the tower, assuring myself that confidence was the key. After conversing with a few guards at the bottom, I was led to the top of the tower, where my beloved twin was kept.

My legs shook as I walked through the sickly, dark corridor. Everything seemed damp, from stone walls to the stinking bars that rusted as time strolled by. Finally a light, and a man. Quite large with lidded dark eyes, he glanced at me with no emotion as we entered.

The man behind me grunted. "Says he's her priest. Sent for counsel or something."

The other man eyed me. "Looks a little young." He merely said, not moving.

I drew my darkened eyebrows together and tried to appear older. "I'm newly declared." I said assertively, lowering my voice a bit. "But well trained by the Lord."

I bit my tongue, hoping I hadn't gone overboard. I actually knew little about the church. I hardly went, and didn't often pay attention when I had graced them with my attendance. However, I knew enough to get by, and to know that Len and I were sinners in many eyes. Perhaps that's why this was happening to us.

Blinking back tears, I saw the man nod curtly, but still did not budge. "Well, I don't really think that the _Madame Evil_ deserves the word of any god, yes?"

I licked my lips and tried not to flush. "I believe everyone has a little good in them." I managed. Seeing his expression, I thought quickly.

"I also have a bit of compensation, for your time." I said quickly. His eyebrow rose as I dug out a few coins.

After a moment of stillness, he grabbed them with his paw and threw open the door next to him.

"Cell's in there." He said gruffly. "Ten minutes, no funny business. I leave the door open, see?"

"Yes, thank you." I agreed, trying to appear aloof as I passed him. The other guard left as soon as the door opened, so it was only the other man outside the door.

I entered, it was dark. I shivered, for it was so cold! My eyes quickly adjusted and I saw iron bars, many of them. Through them, gold hair and a pale face.

Len's face seemed guarded, but I felt my heart overflow with happiness and relief. Tears filled my eyes, but I didn't take off my hood just yet.

He appeared to be whole, but dirty and skinny. Wearing a coarse bundle of blue cloth that could barely be called a dress, his pale skin stood out even more against the dark fabric. The sharp, manly angles of his shoulders stood out. For a moment, I pictured the shining, golden figure I had seen the night of the ball, before things had gone so wrong. My stomach twisted. What a fool I was, to think I was so untouchable. I could have never imagined something like this would have happened.

Shakily, I reached up and placed my hood down. Lens eyes widened and he rushed to the bars, his long fingers clutching the bars like someone's neck.

We both said nothing, and I stood hesitantly a few feet away from him. We simply exchanged looks for a while, expressions of surprise, yearning, shyness, guilt, and simply raw emotion that were untouchable by words.

My brother and I always read each other like our own palms, and this moment was one of those in which we just exchanged emotions by staring at one another. But this could only last for so long, because I could not take it. I wanted to feel him once more, touch this pale, wan figure to make sure he was real.

He clutched my hands through the bars the moment we touched, but his eyes flashed angrily as he pulled me forward.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed quietly. "Leave now. It's not safe."

I was overwhelmed, made dizzy and breathless at his voice and his touch, no matter how tight it was on my arm.

Fluttering my lashes to regain focus, I met his eyes.

"Len…" I tried, but his dangerous look made me swallow those syllables quickly. "I… had to come. There must be some way we can-"

"Hush." Len growled. "Don't even think of such a thing. You should have never come to this dismal place. It makes me sick to think of you here, and it is not safe!"

I felt protest well up, even though I was so happy to see him.

"Why should you endure it? You look sickly! It's not safe for you either! Isn't there something we can do, perhaps you could escape-"

Len chuckled harshly. "I don't think so." He immediately retorted. "Leave it, and leave here. It is so, so dangerous." He walked away from the bars to a small, barred window. It was the only thing that let light into the dim cell. He peered back at me from the darkness, his eyes dark and guarded.

I ducked my head and pressed my forehead against the bars, tears falling from my eyes.

"If it was me in there, would you leave me here?" I whispered. After a moment of silence, I lifted my head to stare at him. "Would you?" I repeated.

Len looked away. "Would you?!" I cried.

Len rushed to me, to quiet me if nothing else. He grasped my hands tightly. They were like ice.

"Of course I would." Len whispered back. "I love you. But don't you understand what you're doing? There is no way to fix this, Rin. Let it be, and do what I ask of you."

I shook my head angrily. He grabbed my hand and pulled it through the bar, pushing my hand against his chest.

"This beats for you, Rin. Knowing you are free and safe makes me feel the same. It makes me happy." Len's eyes begged me for something. His voice dropped to a whisper. "When you come in here, endanger yourself, a hand closes around my heart. It makes me sick to see you here. Please, please Rin. Leave, and don't come back. I want to keep you safe, even if it's just by being in here."

"I'm so sorry." I whispered. Len shook his head, and used our joined hands to lift my chin back up. Pressing against the bars, his lips met mine.

Although the tears were still dripping down my cheeks, I was filled with strength. Len loved me. Here he was, and he loved me. What more did I ever need?

He smiled a little at me after we caught our breaths.

"I hate that you are here, but I can't say I'm not relieved to see you well." He whispered. I nodded.

"Did they hurt you? Are you ill? Are they feeding you enough? Isn't there anything I can do?" I pressed, but he shook his head.

"I'm fine." He said softly. "Relax, ok? Knowing you are safe is the only thing you could give me. I need that peace of mind."

I bit my lip, feeling guilty. But I couldn't leave him here! Didn't he understand? He was all I had, and to leave him alone was…

He was looking at me funny. "What?" I asked.

He gave a funny little smile. "I love you, that's all."

Feeling overwhelmed again, I kissed him once more, and we gazed into each other's eyes. Deep and sincere, his gaze filled me with a sereneness that was unknown to me in the last month. Only Len. His eyes, although shadowed by what I can only guess was lack of sleep and stress, reflected desire and perhaps regret. How I wished things were different.

The thud from the chair outside the door made us both jump apart and made me pull my hood up, and at the last moment I began crossing myself for effect. Or what looked like it, I really just waved my hands in the air.

"Times up," came the gravelly voice.

The guard stood in the doorway and I nodded to Len. "Goodbye, Madame." I said politely. As I turned to leave, Len called softly from behind:

"Oh, and Father, there's no need for you to come again."

I bit my tongue but paused at the doorway. Smiling calmly at Len, I replied:

"We'll see, Madame."

I left, although I could feel my twin's brother's pointed glare even as the door shut.

**A/N**

**Len's not letting Rin switch so easily... But I doubt that stubborn Rin is going down without a fight. **

**Sorry this is late! There will be another chapter on Wednesday, so don't worry! **

**I'm so sorry if you guys cried last chapter, I got a lot of reviews like that! I didn't want to make anyone cry! (Besides there like another couple parts even sadder than that so like I'm really worried now that you guys will cry again!)**

**This chapter may seem a bit anti-climatic right now, but just give it a few chapters...**

**So anyways, I'm free at last! Thanksgiving break is a wonderful thing. I'm re-watching all the Harry Potter movies. Hope you guys are having a good break too!**

**Anyways~**

**Avaflava1~ I'm so sorry, please don't cry! **

**Orange~ Well thanks for reviewing, it means a lot to me! But I am so sorry I'm making you cry! But thank you again!**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ I know! I'm sorry. I don't know! But all three of the great Kagamine Tragedies make me cry. I don't care if they're computers...to me they're plenty real! TAT**

**LucySamuiyuki~ I'm sorry, don't cry! Seriously? 4 hours? Please forgive me, I had no idea TAT I'm pretty upset it's happening too... Not sure why my brain wants to make sad things TAT**

**Thanks, I'll work hard! OOhhh the Hunger Games? Really? That's so sweet! Thank you thank you!**

**Cookiexo~ Thanks darling~ Ah, I think this story has like 2 climaxes... But you are such an angst lover XD You're like the only one cheering over here XD Youre so cool XD Bahaha, I realize now it may be more than 5... godness, I'm really awful at estimates. Forgive me!**

**Ah, Cookie-approved! A high honor XD Sorry it's late, been busy busy~ Now I shall go and right the next chapter for Kagamine Love~ Thanks for constantly reviewing!**

**xXWhitexKingXx~ I'm so sorry! Don't cry! Thank you!**

**Ah, I wish I could write in Len's perspective, but if you remember the beginning, Rin is telling this story to her daughter, so it has to be in her perspective, ya know? It'll all come together later~**

**Thank you! I will work hard in college!**

**VeryBerry96~ Aw thanks! I'm so glad you like it! I'm sorry you got your phone taken away, I hope you didn't get in too much trouble! Aw, thank you again, youre so sweet!**

**Really? Oh wow! That was very much my reaction to them as well XD**

**Ah, well... in this story, Len is very much alive! Sorry if that wasn't clear... He was simply captured, not killed, at least not yet... I know, Miku was so sweet, shame she had to die... But thank you again, I hope you like this chapter too, especially since Len isn't dead!**

**ILoveFanfiction-AnimeAdik~ Thank you! I'm so sorry I made you cry! Forgive me!**

**Sourpatchkid03~ CC? From The Nanny? **

**Ah, Rin has a few ideas...but will they work? Sorry bout cliffhangers, I like to be dramatic XD**


	18. Chapter 18

I tried to obey Len. I did. As I made my way back to my dismal residence, I considered my course of action. But there had to be some way. Some way I could convince him, and some way we could switch back.

Days slowly ticked by. I read Len's books and trailed the streets. My money hadn't dwindled too far yet, but I was still cautious with it, eating little, wearing and washing my clothes again and again in the privacy of my room.

It was strange, to be a boy. Pants were something very new, but mostly just the way I was treated. Fickle girls looked me over as I walked by, smiling sweetly and making me blush for reasons they didn't understand. Had I looked at Len that way? So foolish and desperate? And did I truly look so much like him that I could pass as a boy?

There was more freedom. Not only in walking and running and such, but in places I could go. No man denied me entry to anywhere. I could easily acquire the room for myself, could sit at a bar and eat quietly with no suspicion. Taverns were actually quite good places to get information. Although I never drank, I hung around them quite often. It was at a tavern when I first heard of the rally.

Taverns were smoky, dank and dark places. They stank of sweat and ale. I disliked it. I was sitting at the bar on a crude wooden stool, because the bar was one of the best places to hear gossip.

The bar was always the most crowded though, and I was often pushed against by some drunkard vying for another mug or just people in general. At first, I recoiled just from the smell of these foul men, and further from their brushes. I feared for my identity as a woman would be exposed somehow during these brief encounters, but after a while simply got used to it.

I talked little, but listened well. All talk these days were the war or the rebellion.

My ears perked up when I heard of the Red Warrior, the legendary leader of the uprising.

He was admired and deified, said to be the strongest of the strong. I recalled briefly the image of Len on the balcony as I fled that night, and how two figures held him prisoner. Had one been the red warrior?

The men speaking of the warrior were not simply telling tales of his greatness; they were discussing his return to the city.

Apparently there was to be a rally, a big gathering of the rebels. The Red Warrior having returned from the battlefield would bring news and encourage his followers.

The two men sat a few seats down, both with greasy hair.

"But the most important piece I heard isn't even that." The bigger one said. The smaller leaned forward

"What is it, eh?"

The larger of the two chuckled. "He'll be addressing the fate of Madame Evil, of course."

I almost choked when I heard this. Len!

I knew instantly I had to go rather than traipse around a bar, waiting for news of the rally and my brother. I had to, no matter how dangerous. Len could be sentenced to death!

My mind flew and I tightened my grip on the wooden edge of the bar. I had to see Len, tell him what I heard. He'd be furious of course, that I hadn't left the city and even more so when I told him of my plans.

But I had to! It could be the last time I see him, last chance to convince him. The rally was in three days. I could do this.

I paid and left the bar quickly as soon as the mens' conversation turned to let's say, other things. Hanging out in taverns, you heard some very unladylike things I probably shouldn't have heard. I was mostly used to it by now, but I didn't listen if I could help it.

The next two days, I planned. I listened hard for news, even dared to inquire about it myself. I got good reassurance of fact. Really the whole city was buzzing with the news, so I wasn't too concerned. I counted my money, and the night before I saw Len, bathed and washed my clothes.

The next morning I grabbed my bible and cloak. After darkening my eyebrows, I set off for the tower.

It was easier getting in this time, but also more expensive.

"This evil soul is quite a valuable one to convert, huh?" The guard wheedled. I handed over my coins a bit grudgingly.

Before I went in, I spotted a door down the hall that looked different. It didn't even have a small barred window on it, just an outside lock.

"What's that room for?" I asked. The guard grunted.

"interrogations mostly. Also for last rites and wills. The door looks funny cuz it's a soundproof room." I nodded thoughtfully. The guard gave an evil grin. "But mostly for those interrogations."

I shivered, praying my twin was not harassed in such a place. But I did note that a soundless room may be good for Len and I to switch, if he agreed.

I entered the room of Len's cell. He knew it was me this time, and was glaring at me. He must not have many visitors.

I came closer to him tentatively, finding my hands closing around the iron bars eagerly. Len stepped up to them with his arms crossed and eyes burning. I felt myself shirk.

"Rin." He hissed. "If I ever could despise you, this would be the time."

I winced. He was angry, really angry. I tried to hold them back, but my eyes filled with tears.

He didn't budge, but I cried anyways. Len.

He looked awful. Very thin and very tired, as if he hadn't slept. But he was still my Len. How I had ached for him. Just seeing him left my heart feeling as if it had been strangled and just now released. Emotions flowed freely, and my crying just was one thing I couldn't control.

While trying to wipe away my tears, I reached inside my cloak, cursing myself. I had brought some bread, cheese, and dried meat, but there wasn't a lot. I handed him the handkerchief that contained it all. He took it reluctantly.

"Len, you look sick." I whispered. He shook his head, but coughed.

"Rin, don't try and dismiss how angry I am with you. Are you mad?"

I shook my head as he hid the small bundle in his bodice.

I sniffled a bit, trying to catch my breath between quiet sobs. "I just want you to be free." I whispered.

Len looked almost enraged. "Funny, because I was just thinking the same thing about you."

This made me want to cry some more, and I reached out for Len's hand. He refused to relinquish it.

"Although you seem hell bent on killing us both and crushing my dreams, somehow I still love you." He snapped. I inhaled sharply and looked into his glaring eyes. We stared at each other for a few moments, but tears began to streak down my cheeks unwillingly once more. Len's face suddenly began to soften, his eyes betraying regret.

"Don't cry. I'm fine. I do love you, and nothing you could do will ever change that." He said softly, giving me his hands to hold. They were cold, like last time, but familiar. I pressed one against my face, which he held gently.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "But I had to speak with you." Len looked away, resting his forehead against the damp, cold bars.

"I understand, but I don't think you fully understand how serious this is, Rin." His sharp eyes slid over to mine. "This isn't a game."

I opened my mouth indignantly to retort, but thought against it. There was little time.

"Len, in one day the leader of the revolution will be coming to determine your sentence." I said quickly. Len raised an eyebrow.

I licked my lips and rushed on. "He'll be holding a rally. His name is the Red Warrior."

Len tilted his head thoughtfully. "Red…Warrior…" his eyes lit up after he mused over this. He gave a surprising smile.

"Do you know him?" I pressed. Len gave me a mischievous smile.

"Not him. _Her_." He whispered. I gasped. He nodded.

"If it's the same red warrior who captured me that night, then he is secretly a she. She was definitely a woman."

I shook my head slowly in disbelief. "She must be dressing as a man to keep her power." I smiled at Len wickedly. "How rebellious." He smiled back.

Quickly, because he seemed to have lost most of his anger, I said: "Well, I want to go to the rally, so I can find out the sentence."

Len's face darkened with rage immediately. "No Rin." He gritted. I increased my grip on his hand, feeling my heart hurt from his anger.

"I have to, Len. If they decide to kill you, then we must switch!"

Len's eyes grew even more shadowed, but his eyes even brighter. They reminded me of bright blue flames in the dark, glowing. I was mesmerized by them.

"Absolutely not." Len hissed. "I forbid it. We will never switch back."

I drew back. "But Len! This is ridiculous!" I decided to try another tactic. "Len, I have done wrong by the people, I deserve to be punished. Not you."

This only seemed to make him angrier. "Is that so, Rin? Perhaps you've forgotten that I killed someone." I saw his eyes get a haunted look. Still, by her death. Had he been having nightmares again?

This time it was him who grabbed my hands. "You must have also forgotten that we are twins, the same blood running through our veins." He whispered furiously. "I am at fault as much as you are, if not more."

I glared at him, holding his hands so tightly it was surely painful.

"How dare you!" I said heatedly. "I was the one who told you to kill her; of course I am the one at fault!"

Len's eyes darted to the door. "Keep your voice down." He hushed. "Rin, if you value my sanity you will not go, and you will leave the city like I told you a month ago!"

I bit my lip. "Len-"

He shook his head. "Rin, please. I want to do this for you. Just let me."

I cursed myself as tears pricked my eyes again. Not a tear left me during the cold nights at the inn, but now I was practically a waterfall.

"Why?" I finally said, exasperated. My reading revealed nothing, and Len's actions were more puzzling in the least.

He sighed and looked down, unexpectedly smiling a bit.

"Because I love you, of course."

I bit my lip, but the tears wouldn't stop. I tried to wipe them from my cheeks, embarrassed. Len laughed a bit and reached out to caress my cheek.

"Don't cry. Laugh. You have your whole life ahead of you." I sobbed against the bars.

"Not without you." I breathed. He smiled that sad smile again.

"He'll be coming soon." Len muttered, glancing towards the door. "Come here for a moment so I can kiss you."

I drew forward, reaching in through the bars, pressing against the horrible restraints. Len leaned forward and kissed me softly, but it was enough for me.

I closed my eyes, and tried to pretend. Len and I weren't here. We were at the sea again, the sound of waves in our ears. These weren't bars against my skin, just the cold sea air. It was just Len and I, nothing could hurt us, touch us. Nothing.

A clank sounded and made me jump, shattering my day dream. Len withdrew from me and me from him. It felt too sudden, like trying to run after just waking up. I stumbled, but caught myself.

"Time's up." The guard boomed. I nodded to Len, but he shook his head. I knew what he was saying, I knew what he wanted.

Too bad I was rebellious myself.

**A/N**

**Repetitive? Hope not. Next chapter will be the rally. And then the chapter after that... Well, we'll talk about that next chapter. Stay tuned.**

**Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it! My family does in a non-traditional way. We have steak instead of turkey. But we have lots of pie so I think that makes up for it. Yay! **

**Sorry this is a little late, but yesterday I wanted to finish the second Harry Potter book so I quit halfway writing this. Hehehe sorry.**

**Anyways, Now we see more of the lovely Meiko. I mean, we all know Rin's gonna do whatever Rin wants to do. Risking her life, being a little stupid, it's all there. She seems to have a good goal...**

**So I hope I can get next chapter out by next week. It'll probably be on Thursday or Friday though, just to warn ya. Finals and papers are due...A bunch of stuff! I'll do my best!**

**Anyways~**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ Same here, same here. I know! **

**Cookiexo~ Haha, hope. It'll kill you in this fanfiction XD That was so morbid, I'm sorry TAT **

**Nah, I get you~ Who doesn't like strong emotions from fanfics? It's cool to enjoy them!**

**Of course I do! You're silly and cool XD I love that emoticon- B) It just looks so cool!**

**Aw Thank you o/o Youre too sweet, really! **

**Heehee, prison-nap XD She would if she could, and if he would go! But Len seems to be just as stubborn as Rin... He'll die to protect Rinny TAT**

**Rin's definitely had a few er...adjustments in her life. But she's a strong girl, she'll make it through. Physical adjustments may be her strength as for resiliency, but perhaps not for mental/spiritual... If you get what I mean. **

**No way! We are on number 3. I'm reading the books as well, I never read them! Draco *hisses* He does get cuter though.**

**You are in no way pressuring me XD I hope you did well on your test! I simply adore any reviews, even flames (I use them to warm my room) XD All is encouraging! Thank you TAT You all are too kind.**

**COOKIE-APPROVED! Yay! **

**Sourpatchkid03~ You'll have to wait and see... I don't like to spoil! I agree with you though! I'm sorry to torture you ;-; Forgive me...**

**No I haven't! I won't then XD Thanks for the heads up. Sorry, I dont like cliffhangers either TAT**

**ILoveFanfiction-AnimeAdik~ Thanks! Oh, that's cool. Clues... Well, I already let it slip that she will be going to the rally. But another clue is that she has a plan involving Meiko. Whether it will work or not time will tell! Hope that helps!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Please read the bottom for an important notice. Thank you!**

When I awoke next morning, there were already people in the streets. I glanced out my window: they were all cheering and pushing. Had the Red Warrior already arrived?

Rubbing my eyes sleepily, I sat back down on my bed and thought.

Last night I had been up late, considering what Len told me. Somehow, if I could get to the Red Warrior, perhaps I could persuade her to let Len go for the price of my silence on her gender. Ironic, of course, considering I was doing the same thing, but perhaps it could work.

I quickly got dressed and mentally prepared myself. Whatever happened today, I could deal with it.

Outside, people were swarming. I had no idea there were so many people in the city. They all seemed to be heading towards the square, so I followed them as we all pushed forward like a herd of sheep.

As we passed the tower, I looked up, holding onto the edge of my hood so it didn't fall. I wondered if Len was watching.

Others however were shouting at the building as we passed, even throwing old fruit and garbage at it, so I began to hope that he wasn't.

It was a slow process, and uncomfortable. I was beginning to wish I had just stayed inside and read all day. The people were dirty and loud, and they all pushed. No manners. I still looked down on them, like a hypocrite.

Finally we got to the center. I stood on a wooden crate for a moment to see what everyone was gathering around. Had the Red Warrior already arrived?

She hadn't, but there was a crude platform everyone pushed against. That's where I needed to be.

Feeling a little guilty for my earlier thoughts, I began to push my way forward, not caring who I bothered. I had to get to that platform.

As I pushed through the crowd to get closer, I saw a girl and a boy my age standing together.

They were nothing extraordinary, but the way the girl beamed up at the boy, and the way he smiled at her so gently…it was so familiar. He leaned down to kiss her, and after they pulled apart, she giggled, her cheeks pink and glowing. I felt my heart tighten.

I wanted my brother. I wanted Len so bad it hurt. I remember him smiling at me like that, and kissing me. His hand caressing my cheek. His arms, holding me tightly in his sleep, like he'd never let me go. I missed him so much…it was just like the first time he left me behind.

I looked away, swallowing hard and staring at the ground with glassy eyes. Suddenly, I gasped quietly, realizing that if I didn't do something, it would be just like before. Only this time, he'd never be coming back.

I grew more determined by this, raising my head and setting my chin firmly. I deliberately did not look towards the loving two again, focusing only on the crude platform. I had to keep my will strong. I had to get Len out of there.

Soon I neared the platform. People whom I had shoved away behind me pushed me a bit, but I remained rooted in my spot.

Soon, the crowd quieted and then roared as a figure dressed in brown and red clothes with a painted red armor walked up to the platform. From my spot, I squinted, and realized she looked familiar. Her hair was brown and short but I could tell she was a girl. Perfect.

She smiled at the cheering crowd. I did the same to not stick out, even though I could not control my expression. She was the one who locked my Len in the tower.

"Thank you!" she shouted. "And thank you for coming! I am glad to see you all in support of our new country!"

More cheers, and I bit my tongue.

"We have a lot to discuss! I want to also thank you for sending your men to the front lines; we need them to keep our country free without a corrupt and uncaring monarch!"

People screamed and booed, and I felt a little ill. But the Red Warrior just grinned.

"You see that tower in the distance?" More screams of agreement. I looked back as well, but I was probably the only one with different thoughts on who was in that tower.

"The despicable, wretched Daughter of Evil, Princess Rilianne!"

Hisses and boos filled the air. How wrong they were. I was standing right in front of them, among them. Prince Allen, wonderful, kind, caring Allen was in the tower.

"Because we will no longer be oppressed and let one person make our decisions for us, I am leaving her fate up to you today!"

My stomach clenched as people cheered. No, please no.

"So tell me, who would like her to die?"

It was just like that night, when screams filled the air and clogged my mind. They cheered for Len's end, and I felt myself biting my lips so hard it bled to keep from wither screaming or crying.

"And who wants her to live?"

The cheers faded to a deathly silence. There was no one who did not wish for death, did not consider anything else. Not a word was said, and the silence stood in the air.

The Red Warrior smiled broadly. "Than it shall be death!"

People screamed. Women cried and held each other; children waved small rebel flags high in the air. I was frozen. Len had not been pardoned. No, I could still make it happen, I could.

"In three month's time we will have built or weapon of death, the guillotine! And after those months, we will christen it with her black blood of evil!"

Three months. I was going to be ill. Three months if I did not do something. Three months of life if I did not fix this.

I blocked out the rest of the speech, holding on tightly to my plan, rehearsing it over and over in my mind. It would work, it had to.

I sensed the end, and with more cheering, she began to exit the platform.

People began to disperse, and I watched as the Red Warrior made her way into an alley way with two others to evade the crowd. I pushed after her, running.

"Red Warrior!" I screamed, but she did not pause until she saw I knew where she was. She turned and dismissed the other two, smiling. They went ahead and she called to me:

"Sorry, no time! Have to get back!" She turned again to leave.

"Wait!" I called out, desperate. "I know your secret!"

She paused and looked back at me. "Is that so?" She mused. "Well, come here and tell me."

Shakily, I walked towards her, noticing how familiar she seemed. Had I seen her before somewhere?

I leaned in and said quietly, "I know you're not a man."

I stepped back and examined her expression. She didn't have a look of shock, fright, or even anger. She only raised her eyebrow inquisitively.

"And what is the price of your silence?" She wondered.

I licked my lips, standing tall. "A pardon."

She looked amused. "For whom?"

I inhaled. "The Princess."

She smiled, and I suddenly felt uneasy.

She took a step closer and leaned down, for she was almost a whole head taller than me. She pushed me, and I fell down into the mud, barely stopping y fall with my hand. My wrist ached and I feared it was sprained.

"Stand up." She commanded. I didn't want to, but I had to. She was so much stronger than me. I didn't want to die here, by her filthy hand. She smiled again as I tried to stand.

"I'll tell you what. You tell everyone you know, see if they believe you. But it won't save your pathetic little princess. And if I hear that you did tell, I'll personally hunt you down and kill you."

I shook with fright, but froze when I saw her fingers reaching for me.

"After all, I already know what you look like; it'll be easy tracking you down." She cooed, her hand reaching to pull down my hood.

I felt every hair stand on end, felt my heart increase two fold. For a moment I was still, and then I was gone, legs pumping, heart racing, my eyes swelling with tears.

I glanced back, she was laughing, turning away. She didn't even need to pursue me.

I swallowed hard, slowing. I was relieved to have gotten away, for if she had seen my hair she would have known the resemblance between Len and I. She had seen Len up close.

I leaned up against a wall in the alleyway. I gasped for air and my hands shook as I covered my face with them, trying to hide my tears.

I had failed my twin. He was right. All I had done was endanger both of us and possibly put a bounty on my head. Len would never be free. He was sentenced to death.

I sobbed into my hands, not even caring how dirty I was. What was the point?

I drudged my way back to my room, trying to be inconspicuous. I heated water for a bath and tossed my dirty clothes on the ground angrily.

Why didn't anything ever work like they were supposed to? Why couldn't I do anything right? Why wasn't I stronger?

As I sat in the water, I began to cry again. I missed Len so much. What would I do without him? Why would I even exist? Without him, I also lost the only thing good n my life. Len was so special, so gentle and good. I was so… mean. Len was the only one to ever make me feel like I could be someone of worth. Without him, I would be nothing but a skinny, idiotic piece of scum. I had ruined my country and killed my own brother. How was I to ever make up for that?

I had tried to get Len pardoned; I had tried to switch with him. Nothing had worked. It was so ridiculous; I wish I hadn't been such a coward that night. Perhaps then I would be in there and Len would be out there. I'm sure he would have already figured out a way to free me anyways.

I was the bad one, not my perfect, kind brother. I deserved to die. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to live without Len, and I didn't want him to die. I would rather die than face either of those never less both.

But Len was always right. Even if I could convince him to trade places with me, miracle that would be, how would we even be in a position to do so? My ten minute visits with him would not even be enough.

I sighed and closed my eyes, remembering my last visit. How wonderful it had felt to see him, to touch his skin and hear his voice.

I wished he was with me. I placed my hand on my own cheek, remembering his touch. I tried to pretend it was his hand, not mine. When I felt a tear on my hand, I let it fall. It wasn't the same, not even close.

I tucked my knees to my chest and rested my chin on my knees. Closing my eyes, I wished things were different.

Suddenly, my eyes opened. That door. That room! That room at the tower by Len's cell!

It was all coming together. It was perfect, it had been right in front of me! I would make something up, anything, to get me and Len alone in that soundless room. I could argue with him freely in there with no constraints or worries; we could switch our clothes back with no one the wiser once I had convinced him!

It would take a lot of money, I'm sure. I glanced over to the bag of my coins, wondering how many would be left for Len. But Len was capable, right? He'd find a way out of the city without money. He wasn't helpless and useless like me. What's important is that he would be free.

It was the perfect plan. Finally, finally things would be put right and I would be released from this horrible feeling I had all the time. Of guilt, worry, anger, regret. Finally it would be over. Len would be safe, be free.

I spent the rest of the night carefully planning my argument and washing my clothes. Tomorrow was the day: the day I would free my brother.

**A/N**

**Hello darlings! So, so sorry about the late review. School is so busy I had no time! But luckily I already have next weeks written and read, it will be on time, I promise!**

**IMPORTANT: Next week I will be changing the rating, so if you usually just scan the T rating for a new chapter, be aware that it will be changing next week! **

**Now no one get excited. I do not write lemons, but if I did... well this would be it. But no one be disappointed because there are no graphic sex scenes, ok? **

**I'm really excited. This is personally my favorite chapter, and I actually have had it written for a long time. I'm excited to show you guys, especially since this chapter was depressing/boring/whatever. Don't worry darlings, next week will be exciting and on time!**

**Again, I apologize for this being so late. School is super busy with finals! I think I'll do good, just a lot of assignments and stuff. For those curious: I'm pretty sure this story will be finished within this month or an early part of the next. It's the beginning of the end~**

**Thank you for your support and patience! Your support is everything!**

**Anyways~**

**ILoveFanfiction-AnimeAdik~ Meiko is loving the power of the people, and she doesn't care about anything Rin has to say! Of course she doesn't know it was Rin, but still.**

**Yes, Rin's ignorance has caused her to be rather stupid lately. She sort of means well, but we'll get to that. Luka will appear in about three chapters, I think. She will be an important character after introduced. **

**Sourpatchkid03~ So sorry about the late update! Thank you for your PM, I am glad you enjoy this story so much!**

**Sorry about so many cliffhangers, I didn't realize I did them so often. Sadly, there will be more.**

**Very perceptive. Interestingly, the end is tied to the beginning, even more than I originally intended. I don't know if you will be able to figure it out before the end though! Although, I feel the ending is too predictable. I hope it will be memorable though!**

**Cookiexo~ Hey darling! Sorry to be late~ **

**Ha, they get the irony. They think it's funny since they are doing the same thing but Meiko doesn't have a clue XD **

**Yes, Len gets progressively pissed XD Sorry it feels repetitive... Next chapter will definetly be different...**

**Rin has so many mixed thoughts and emotions, it's so confusing when writing about it. She still has that selfish part of her, but she's incredibly torn and confused since she was thrust into this whole new reality. Blah, I would hate to be her.**

**Len does. Len's a gentle soul, and he genuinely liked Miku. The memory of killing her will continue to haunt him until his death. Rin also feels guilt at the moment, but mostly because it affects Len so. **

**Ahaha I personally thought it was kinda hot too XD I was like "Oh, so sad and romantic!" I feel so cheesy sometimes. **

**Please, Rin's plans never go well. Mostly because she doesn't quite understand the workings of the real world and how small she is in it. But this next one will work... somewhat, to her own ideas...**

**No problem XD I'm glad your test went well! Studying is always good.. I'm so bad at it... ;-;**

**Ahaha, I despise them as much as you, but I've never flamed because I don't want anyone to feel sad ;-; Even if it is MikuxLen... Thanks for your review! Hope you are well~**

**LucySamuiyuki~ Darling! Please don't be so sad! It breaks my heart to hear that it affects you so much!**

**I completely understand though. Relating to a story often leaves me broken and upset inside too! I have to remind myself it's not real, but it doesn't always work. I'll tell you a secret though, so you won't be so sad. I always end the story happy somehow. So don't fear, it will all be ok! I fear for you in the next few chapters, they tend to get sadder! PM me if you are so sad again!**

**Thank you very much! I try my best to really get in the story and in the characters minds. I am honored you think so highly of this story, thank you!**

**Of course! I have had my share of writer's block! One thing I always find important is once I think of an idea for a story, to expand it before I even wrote anything down. So I know where I'm going and stuff! Now, since you've already had an idea and wrote on it, I would suggest considering taking it in a new direction. Don't be afraid to change things or even consider revamping it completely. You don't have to consider some things set in stone, you can still change them! You can also free write your characters in a different scenario or situation to help get the mind going. When I'm having a hard time writing a part, I sometimes skip ahead and write a future chapter. Try changing something up or adding something new! And if you really love it, you could just hold onto it. Maybe you will come up with something later!**


	20. Chapter 20

I thought it through. So the next day, I prepared myself, deciding to go at night. There would be less guard and less people. Easier in all aspects.

I headed out late into the night. I brought all my money with me, and donned my cloak. I was ready to go.

No one was out except for a few drunken men whom seemed to be trying to find their homes. I avoided them with great care. Most houses were dark, except for a few places of prostitution, which kept their lights on late into the night.

After slipping around in the shadows, I made it to the tower. After initial security, I was brought up to Len's floor.

The guard looked at me, surprised I was here at this time. I wondered if Len was asleep.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. I moved my cloak a little, displaying the money attached to my hip. His eyes traveled over it.

"Here to request the use of that private room for the Princess' will." I said flatly.

The man's lips twitched in amusement, than eyed the bag again.

"It's awful late. I'll have to keep a good watch at the door."

I narrowed my eyes. "I'm willing to pay the price." I told him. He smiled.

He took almost all of my money, demanding no less than twenty gold pieces, five silver, and two bronze "for his services." But I bit my lip and paid him. I was granted three hours, until dawn. Perfect.

He opened the door to Len's cell, but this time he went inside. I waited outside.

There was metal crashing and muffled voices. Len didn't say much, and I swallowed nervously in anticipation.

Len's eyes widened slightly when he saw me, and I tried not to wince at the sight of him in handcuffs.

Luckily, Len didn't say anything. I handed over the money and we were led down the hall to that room. A different guard brought two candles, handed them both to me. Len was released from the cuffs and shoved into the room, and I followed.

"We'll be locking the door now till dawn. Understand?" the guard said. I nodded.

The door shut behind us, and I echoed. The lock clicked, and I turned to Len, pulling down my hood and setting the candles on the table. They let off a dim light, but lit up the dim room. There was one barred window with pitted glass. Len was staring at it, but turned to me after the door locked.

"Rin, what are you doing here? What is this? Why are you spending all the money? You need it to leave!" Len immediately said, his face even more furious than I had ever seen it. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought he was going to strangle me.

I swallowed, feeling scared. When I didn't say anything, Len stopped angrily pacing and looked at me.

"Rin?"

I walked slowly to him and took his hand. Feeling it in my own hand made me feel more assured. I lifted it to my cheek and closed my eyes for a moment, relishing the feeling of him I longed for every second we were apart.

"Len, I… I realize that I did two horrible things." I started quietly.

"The first was to be so careless, to let this country go to ruin." I said sadly. My eyes met his. "And the second was letting you pay for my sins."

Although Len began to protest, I slid my arms around him and laid my head against his chest. His words died, and his arms encircled me once again, as they did so long ago. In this moment, I realized I couldn't do it. All the things I had read about, all the things I hadn't understood, I did now.

Len wasn't going to let me switch. All the arguments I had prepared, all the things I could say would never convince Len.

To Len, it wouldn't have mattered if I had strangled Miku with my own hands.

To Len, it wouldn't have mattered if I had been tearing this country apart on purpose.

To Len, it wouldn't even matter if I had thought of him taking my place at the guillotine myself.

To Len, nothing mattered except that he loved me, and he wanted me to live. He was selfless. I kept trying to figure out how Len fit into the equation, what he would gain from this and what kind of motive or thought would make him do this. But Len didn't even out himself into the equation. He didn't care. For some reason I didn't understand, Len valued my life over his because he loved me so very much.

For this reason, I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit there and argue with him, wasting this precious time trying to convince him to go against his very grain of self. To argue with Len like that, would be an insult to him. It would anger him and worry him.

I wanted to trade with Len because I loved him, yes. Because I wanted him to live, of course. But also because I wanted to be free of guilt. Because I didn't even want to try and live without him in a world that rejected me.

I couldn't do that to Len. I couldn't, not with realizing how much he truly loved me, and how exquisitely good he was.

I felt still so guilty inside. All I had done was cause worry and anger and grief for Len, who I loved and loved me so much. If only he knew how much I lived him.

For a moment, in his arms, I stood still, and then I decided. Immediately, I knew it would be right.

"I realize that you are going to…to…" a sob escaped me, surprising me. Len shushed me, rubbing my back and holding me tight. His presence was soothing and made me brave. I knew what to do, but I was still nervous.

Inhaling, I drew back. "Knowing…that… I…I..." I felt blood flowing into my cold cheeks, but I forced myself to look into his eyes. "I want to give myself to you, all of me. As if you and I had really been declared man and wife, like I wished. Let me give myself to you, at least before you…"

Realizing I couldn't say it, I met his bewildered eyes once more before I laced my fingers together as I slid my hands around his neck, kissing him deeply. He responded back for a moment, but struggled as shock appeared to wear off.

I pulled away to hear him breathe deeply, his hot breath on my lips.

"Rin-"

"Shh." I hushed, nudging myself even closer to his body. His breathing hitched, and he quickly put his hands on my waist, to halt me.

His eyes stared intensely into mine, and he looked completely shocked. "Don't, Rin."

I licked my lips. "Why?" I tried to sound confident, sure, but my voice came out shaky and needful.

"Because, you have your whole life ahead of you."

"But I only want you."

"Rin."

"No Len! I don't want anyone else, ever." I looked into his eyes. "I could never love someone the way I love you. Never."

He still seemed hesitant. "Len, you're giving my life for me. Can't I at least give you myself?" I pressed.

He looked away for a moment before turning back. "I-It's not that simple." Len said.

Our chests rose and fell together as I leaned on him. Our faces were inches away, and I could read every expression in his eyes.

I knew what he was thinking. But I wasn't a little girl anymore, innocent and needing protection. I was a woman, despite my years in ignorance. I wanted him, despite our shared blood. Inside, need rose. In me pounded something that told me that this, what we had, was nothing to be trifled with, and not an everyday occurrence. He was my everything; my one, perfect match. We were cut of the same cloth, but it only made us more perfect for each other. I would never know a love like this anywhere and with anyone else. I had never loved before, but I know that this was different than anything else.

He knew it as well; I could feel it every time he touched me, every time he kissed me. Our love bubbled over all the time; it wasn't made to be contained. I knew he wanted me. But as usual, his concern for my happiness, my wellbeing was over shadowing his own. Our own.

"It's all I want, Len. To have and to give to you." I tried to smile, but failed. "Will you grant me this last request, my love?"

He faltered then gave, closing the gap between us. The kiss that was made between us swept every thought out of my brain, every breath out of my body, yet set every nerve on fire. I could feel his hands, his touch on my skin, and we hurried to undo each other's clothes, throwing them to the floor in haste, kissing each other every moment.

He paused, his hand on my waist when we were both down to shifts.

"Wait." He said thickly, clearing his throat a bit. He took a few garments and spread them on the stone floor, making a makeshift bed so I wouldn't be on the cold stones. I watched him, clutching myself a bit; I was feeling emotionally overwhelmed. He turned to me and held out his hand.

"I…I'm sorry we don't have a bed." He said quietly. I nodded, giving him my hand. The moment he touched it, I felt calmer.

We knelt together on the floor. He let go of my hand and tore off what remained of his clothing, staring at me unashamedly. I trailed my own eyes down to myself and slowly lifted my shift off as well.

I raised my eyes over his glorious frame. He was still well built, lean but muscular. Pale, but handsome and masculine despite posing as me for the last months. His hair shone in the dim light from the moon and the single candle, as well as his eyes, which swept over my own body. I flushed, and had a strange sensation. I felt comfortable enough in front of Len, yet was embarrassed. This combined with the flurry of every other emotion I already had made my head spin.

"You're beautiful." He said quietly. I felt my cheeks grow hotter. He was so serious, and the…intensity in his voice made this so much more…serious. I had been told I was pretty before, to flatter me, but this was very different.

"As are you." I replied. He gave a slight smile.

"Well," he replied, taking my hands in his, "We are twins, aren't we?" I nodded breathlessly.

He chuckled. "What?" I asked curiously.

"In here…I'm the boy and you, the girl." He replied, referring to our switch. I loosened my hand from his and ran my hand over his smooth, muscular chest.

"Well, you play the part better than I do." I whispered. He laughed quietly again, but didn't reply, only pulling me closer.

He then took me in his arms, kissing me, running his hands over me, setting me on fire.

It felt wonderful, to be caressed and loved like that. I exhaled loudly; feeling overpowered by my own emotions and need. He responded likewise as he pulled me closer into his lap.

He caressed my back, teasing me as he pulled me up to him. I wrapped my own arms tightly around his neck, pulling him closer to me, to kiss me deeper, to give me what I wanted. We could barely part for air, so as we kissed he carefully laid me down, hovering above me.

"Len." I said, urging him on as he kissed my neck, trailing down to my collarbone. He raised himself back up so we were face to face, kissing me again.

"Are you…are you sure…Rin?" he said between the clashing of our lips, barely able to keep them apart for the delicious tremors that racked our bodies each time they touched.

"Yes." I asserted. I was ready. He held himself back and looked into my eyes.

"I love you."

"And I you."

* * *

When it was over, he held me close, our naked bodies hot against each other. I had a strange feeling, one of odd pride, and another that was a little embarrassed. Or at least made me feel like I should be embarrassed. But why let such a thing bother me now?

He turned to capture my lips once again, and lingered there. I closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his lips, his skin. I felt tired, but there was no way I was going to miss a second of this.

"Tired?" he asked, reading my mind. I opened my eyes and shook my head. He looked so serious, it made me smile.

"Are you all right?" he asked me urgently. So that's what was bothering him.

"I told you, I'm fine. Perfect." His thumb moved against my arm in a nervous way, so I brought my hand up to his cheek.

"Smile for me." I instructed. He did, relaxing, and I returned it. He kissed me again before laying back down beside me. He gave a small sigh.

"What?" I asked. He turned his head to me.

"I've been selfish." He said soberly. I wanted to laugh, for that was pretty morbid. His look however, did not convey understanding.

"What do you have to feel selfish for? You're the one dying for me." I said, my voice becoming choked at the end.

"Hey…hey. Don't cry." He sat up onto his elbow, leaning over. "I only meant…that I wish for you to be happy. Even if that means to fall in love again, marry someone else."

He caught my angry look. "I don't want you to be alone, Rin. But now I fear… I just hope that you do not wish for me after death." His look was completely sincere, but this only made me more furious.

I sat up, pushing him away from me as hard as I could, though it barely budged him. I held the cloak we had been using as blanket up to cover myself and glared over to him.

"God, do you not feel as I do?" I cried angrily. "We have something extraordinary, Len! Something once in a lifetime!" he opened his mouth, but I cut him off.

"Even if I found someone I felt I could tolerate, they would _never_ match up to you. I love you!" I pressed my palms to my eyes again, trying to hide my tears. "How can you say such a thing to me, after we-"

I felt a light touch on my arm and I tore my hands away from my face. "Do you not find what we have special?" I whispered.

He sat up as well, reaching out to smooth my hair away from my face, coming to rest on my cheek.

"Rin… You have absolutely no idea how much I love you. It sickens me to think of you with another man, of another touching you-" he paused, controlling the abrupt anger that had suddenly arose in his voice, his hand suddenly balled into a tight fist.

Len swallowed dryly, and I found myself doing the same. "What we have…is the most precious thing in the world to me. I am thankful for every second we are together. I could never think of loving another either. I just… want you to be happy." He returned his eyes to mine. "I love you."

I threw my arms around him, pressing my face into his neck. He stroked my hair, his hand coming to rest there as he held me close.

"Well, I'm forever yours." I replied, and he did not protest.

* * *

After that, we lay down again and said little for a while. His finger trailed across my skin as I lay on his chest, and I listened to his heartbeat, steady and reliable. His heart beat now, but for how long? He was giving it up for me.

I bit my own tongue to try and hold back my tears and wondered where the end of Len's selflessness was.

"Why does this have to happen?" I asked him quietly later on, huddling in closer to his skin. I didn't really expect a real answer; I just hated the reality we were faced with.

"Hmm." Len moved his head to the side, pondering. "I suppose it's just fate. Destiny has always divided us anyways." He turned to nestle into my hair, but I propped myself up to look at him, holding the blanket against myself once again.

"Len, fate is not the answer." I said determinedly.

He raised an eyebrow. "No?" he said lightly. I shook my head.

"Do you really believe that our lives are just determined by such a thing?" I pressed. Perhaps the reason Len was so set in his decision was because he saw the past and future as something woven by an invisible hand, uncontrollable.

He sat up, silently drawing me into his lap. I couldn't really resist him, but I kept staring up at him firmly.

"Len, please. I think our choices are our own! We cannot simply be puppets." Len smiled and trailed his fingers up and down my arm.

"Aren't we?" He sighed, his smile fading. "We have been from the start. Just pawns in the royal game, never having any real power. I suppose it's just the same in fate."

He looked away. I reached up and placed my palm to his cheek, firmly moving his face to mine.

"We are not pawns. Me and you, we are not following anything. Who can really say, but I know that we are better than that. I love you, and I don't care what brought me here, I'm just glad to be here with you."

Len smiled and leaned forward, kissing me deeply, and my hands slipped from his cheek to his neck. I cared not where the blanket fell, and as I felt the spark of heat between our lips, I thought of something.

Pulling away, I stared deep into his eyes.

"Len, it is not your destiny to save me." I told him. His look changed a bit. "You don't have to do this-"

"Hush, Rin. As you said, it was my decision. I'm not doing this because I have to, but because I love you. And I'm not changing my mind." His eyes were cold, yet burned fiercely, and I knew there was no arguing with him. For now.

My cheeks burned with emotion. Love, anger, lust, frustration, sadness. He captured a few as he kissed me again, and I closed my eyes in happiness as we lay down again, my arms wrapping around him as we achieved bliss again.

* * *

Len was humming to himself. I had almost fallen asleep. Opening my eyes, I turned my head.

"What are you humming?" I asked drowsily. Len shrugged.

"Just a song I made up to remind me of you." I blushed, embarrassed of the sweet gesture.

He leaned down so we were nose to nose. I stared at him as he considered me with a gentle look. He tilted his head, a small smile on his lips.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" he asked quietly. I felt myself reddening further as he continued to stare at me.

"Don't be silly." I objected hotly, pulling back, but Len moved his arms so I couldn't escape.

"I'm not." Len shot back. "But you didn't answer my question."

I sighed, exasperated. "Sure Len, I do know." I said exasperated, hoping he'd be satisfied. But no, he shook his head.

"I don't think so." He said softly. I looked into his eyes, so full of love, and smiled.

"You don't realize it's just you." I replied. He looked like he was about to retort, but I leaned forward and kissed him.

I rested my head on his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck.

Len sighed happily, holding me tight again.

"I wish we could never stop this." Len said kind of dreamily. I kissed his neck, hoping he'd continue.

"Me and you, just talking and living together… somewhere where it was only us."

I nodded and inhaled deeply. Len smelled nice and he felt nice. His very presence was calming and just sitting together and holding each other made me feel more connected with him, closer to him. Which really, was what I always wanted. I pulled away and examined Len.

He looked back at me kind of calmly, like he knew what I was thinking.

There was no way to describe it, and I didn't know if it was a twin thing or just love. But Len was…Familiar. Like I had known him, loved him forever. Spanning across lifetimes and lives, I had always just wanted to be with Len. Always wanted him. Like I had always had this unbroken bond with him, and that I always would.

I reached out and caressed his cheek, wondering how long I had really waited to do it. His skin was soft and warm, but there was something else to the touch, like two magnets pulling together, or a flower reaching for the suns warm rays. How long had Len and I waited for each other, really? How long had we searched for each other, two souls desperately reaching for the other? There was never any doubt, any hesitation that I loved Len. Why?

I shivered as Len gently wrapped his fingers around my wrist, pulling my hand down to his heart.

He looked at me tenderly. "Forever." He said.

Startled, I gazed into his eyes. Had he understood what I had been wondering? Had he thought the same? Feeling his heart beat under my hand made mine go faster, but in sync. So I took my free hand and made his other hand touch my heart.

He felt my heartbeat and closed his eyes, sighing happily. I felt it too, the relief and like…we were connected. Our hearts beat for each other's.

I leaned forward, and so did Len. Still holding our hands over our hearts, we kissed, and it was perfect.

His lips were warm, pushing forward and back against my own. It was if we were both filled with sparks, and every kiss brought a feeling that felt so wonderful it hurt. We moved back and forth, warm breaths brushing against our lips only occasionally. Beneath my hand, lens heart beat fast like mine, and it connected us. We kissed, and for a moment, there was only us.

* * *

I slept a little later, just a few stolen moments. I didn't mean to, but Len let me sleep. Later, Len gently woke me up, and handed me my shift. He had already slipped on his, and he left me to stare out the barred window.

I stood, slipping on the shirt as I neared him. I leaned my head against his back and slipped my arms around him as he stood.

He placed a hand over one of mine, but continued to look away. I looked too, and saw the streaks of light just starting to cover the night sky. Our time was almost over.

I cleared my throat nervously.

"Len." I said softly. He didn't reply. I felt my heart beat faster, my mind flying. I know I promised I wouldn't, but if only he let me switch, this would be our only chance...

"Please?" I asked him, not being able to hold it back any longer.

He turned to me, removing my arms from him so he could take a hold of my hands. He stared at me unemotionally, not the anger I expected.

"No." Len said firmly, kissing my forehead gently.

I looked down, tears filling my eyes. Guilt washed over me, and I considered stealing his clothes, knocking him out, anything.

He lifted my chin to stare into my eyes once again, and I saw how fiercely his eyes burned.

"Do not ask me again." He threatened. I swallowed and nodded before falling into his arms, trying to hide my burning tears. I was forever helpless.

He smoothed my hair tenderly, but said nothing. He knew there was nothing to say that could make this better. We both knew the reality of this; there was no chance for the Daughter of Evil. And he would never relinquish the role to it's me, its owner.

After I finished crying, he only said one more thing about it:

"I know you see it as unfair, Rin. That I die in your place, it is a sacrifice. But I think you will suffer more than I… a price to living, I guess. If I could, I would shoulder that for you as well…" he trailed off, staring past me. Was he second guessing himself? I felt confused, and mostly cast aside such words. Understanding would only come later.

I released him, but looked at him questioningly.

"Len, don't you regret anything?" I asked quietly. It seemed like that was the only thing I felt lately, unless it was self-pity.

Len smiled a real smile and cupped my cheek.

"You've always been trouble." He said, and I blinked, stung. But he continued.

"I knew you were trouble, Rin. You were always too beautiful, too sweet, too perfect. From the moment I returned, I knew simply from seeing you that first moment that I loved you more than I should ever have. I knew I could not keep myself from loving you, but I prayed I could at least keep it from you. But you, you were just too much."

He stepped closer, his other hand coming up to completely cup my cheeks. He smiled at me so tenderly that all words died on my lips as he continued.

"You were always everything, and I wanted you for myself. At first, I felt regret for letting you know of my feelings. I felt like I was soiling you, dragging you down into hell with me. But from that moment on, I never regretted it. So much happiness we shared, so much love. An overwhelming amount of myself was no longer mine. It was yours. I was all yours, every bit. Putty in your hands, my love. The happiness, the love I feel with you, about you, for you will never change, and no shadow of regret will ever darken that light. No, I could never regret any of this. A few things I wish had been different, but I own my choices, and I own his one. All of them brought me here to be with you, and I could not ask for any more than this."

He pressed himself to me, and kissed the top of my head as his hands firmly held me to him. I could feel his heart beat through our clothing.

"I love you so much, Rin." He whispered. "I could never regret that."

Tears swelled in my eyes, and for a moment we were still. My heart was full, my chest full as if he put the air there himself with his tender words. I wished he knew how much I loved him. I wished I had more time to show him, to tell him.

"I don't know how to be brave." I whispered to him. Len smiled.

"Rin, you were never afraid to love. You were never afraid to do something so we could be together, even if it wasn't very smart." Len said. "Don't be afraid to live without me. You've done it before, and you are brave. You just have to find that strength in you again."

I wanted to protest, but he kissed me again, and I closed my eyes, not caring.

A loud knock startled us.

"Five minutes!"

My breathing immediately began to hitch, my throat began to close.

Len grabbed my hands and squeezed them tightly. "Rin. Breathe. It's going to be ok."

I shook my head as I felt the sobs come, squeezing through my tight throat. Len grabbed me and held me close, pressing me to him in one quick motion.

"Don't." he whispered. "Go."

I shook my head again against him, the tears coming fast now.

"Stay with me." I sobbed, even though I knew it was impossible. "Please."

"It's going to be alright." He repeated assuredly.

"Please Len, please," I cried, clutching at him like he was the last breathe of air in the world. "You're the only one who's ever loved me!"

Len's hands tightened around me. "I know." He mumbled, but his voice sounded choked. "I know."

"Don't leave me alone." I begged. "I love you."

"I love you too, Rin." Len said, pulling me forward so he could look at me. "That's why I have to do this."

I opened my mouth again to retort back, but he pressed his lips firmly to mine, capturing me in his embrace. There was a horrible feeling of finality all around us as he kissed me with utmost passion and love, and it nearly broke me. I pressed him to me, my hands winding through his hair. His hands pressed against my back, and I felt every movement of his body against mine. I felt near to exploding, this heat growing faster and faster to the point of burning.

As we kissed, I gave a silent prayer, the only thought in my mind: _Please don't let this be the last time._

We parted with a gasp, and he held me apart from him.

Before I could begin to cry again, he stopped me. "Don't." he simply said, but I knew what he meant. It was a last request from him; how could I not honor it?

He looked into my eyes once more, as if to memorize my face.

"Don't ever come back here again." He commanded. "Never. Leave this town immediately, and don't look back."

He paused for a moment, then caressed my cheek once more. "Carry my heart with yours, ok?" He whispered.

I nodded, at a complete loss for words. He wiped my tears away with the cloak and tied it securely before making sure he was dressed properly. He stood me at the door and went to stand behind me.

For a moment, his hand slipped into mine, and he squeezed it three times. I love you. Before I had time to squeeze back, his hand was gone and the door opened in front of me.

After a gentle nudge from Len, I walked out as Len was put back in chains. I tried not to watch lest I be sick from seeing my own nightmare.

The guard began to direct me to the door at the opposite end of the corridor. I looked back only once at Len's retreating form back to his cell. He stood tall; his back straight as he walked solidly down the hallway. He did not look back.

* * *

**A/N**

**I'm so embarrassed o/o I hope you guys like it though. This is a big turning point, so I'm excited to continue. Next week should be on time, but if not I'll post sometime next week, because I'll be going home on Thursday! I'm very excited.**

**Also, a bunch of you guys have mentioned that you wish Len's Point of View would be written as well, to see things through his point of view. I totally understand, and if you're familiar with my stories you know that I ALWAYS do both Rin and Len's POV. However, if you guys remember, this is a story being told by Rin to her daughter... although it's a little weird to be telling all this stuff to her daughter, technically that's what this is. So we can't have Len's POV because this is Rin, telling the story of their lives. Thought I'd clear that up!**

**I hope you all are well and enjoyed this chapter!**

**Anyways~**

**Sourpatchkid03~ Thanks XD I hope so. Aw, thank you! I like stories that are suspenseful, so I'm glad mine's not too predictable XD**

**That's fine! As long as I can understand, it's fine XD You weren't a bother at all! Don't worry about it. And I agree, Bambi is a tragedy TAT I always cry TAT**

**ILoveFanfiction-AnimeAdik~ Rin hasn't thought of that, because she hasn't really experienced the loss yet. But she also wouldn't commit suicide since Len died for her so she could live, and she would be a waste and an insult to Len if she did.**

**LucySamuiyuki~ Oh I am so glad I could help! You are too sweet! And you are totally fine, I'm very emotional as well, don't even worry about it XD I'm glad you liked it! I will work hard to keep doing my best! And yes, Rin's plans never do quite go through XD She's a bit hasty.**

**Cookiexo~ Hey! Everyone keeps laughing at Rin's stupidity XD She'd be furious if she knew. **

**I hope your homework goes well too! Im really bad at math TAT I have to take it next semester and... TAT Im so scared. Ill do my best to keep updating XD Thank you :D**


	21. Chapter 21

I cried alone in my empty room that night, but soon realized I didn't have the money to go anywhere. But I was determined to carry out Len's request.

However, the revolution was full force, and transportation going out or into the city was practically impossible. Unwilling to become a stowaway on some farmers wagon, I waited another three weeks before the roads finally re-opened. I didn't go see Len, but I did listen to every piece of gossip I heard. He wasn't sentenced yet, but I feared the worst.

So in the meantime I delivered messages, running to and from different businesses to deliver urgent news of the war and of supplies. It was good, all I had to do was be fast, and I didn't have to speak a lot. I saved almost all of my money, and although it took about a month a few roads finally opened.

I was on one of the first carriages out of the Capital. I paid the driver to take me to the West Village, where this woman, Luka, lived. Supposedly Len had stayed with her and had continued to correspond with her after leaving. I hadn't even known he had, I had no idea he had such long friendships. I was so blind. What else he kept from me, I don't know.

The ride was two weeks, stopping at several inns along the way. As we drove past the sea line, I looked away, not wanting to remember the times I had with Len there. Any thoughts of him were painful, and it was a daily battle to try to live without him in my mind. Other's also joined me on this journey in the carriage, but said little to anyone else.

I kept up my identity as a boy easily, wearing the few clothes I had again and again. To others, I merely appeared to be another poor boy, looking for work or distant relatives. Few asked me any questions, so I told few lies.

It was a lonely journey, sleeping in a different bed every night and traveling in the cramped carriage every day. The roads were bumpy, the lack of bathing atrocious. I smelled no better myself, but never had I experienced anything like this.

As we rode, it occurred to me that I slept on the same two beds for almost my whole life, and now I was sleeping a new one every night. After leaving the nursery, I slept in the same bedroom until the night I escaped. These people seemed to give no thought to this, but after a while, I realized I was the strange one, not them. One thing of many to separate me from them, the normal people. Another thing to get used to.

Finally after almost two long weeks of bumpy riding we reached the border. The town of Delisia would soon be in sight.

I was exhausted and I was so sick to my stomach from the hard, constant ride. It felt like my bones ached from the constant jolting of the cart going up and down, and I was so sick of people around me. I just wanted to close my eyes and hear nothing.

For a moment, I did close my eyes. We would be there soon. But the woman beside me who had been jabbing me in the ribs for the last two weeks gasped.

"Oh no." She breathed. At once, there was a chorus of similar sounds from our whole wagon. I opened my eyes slowly.

In the distance between a few sparse trees lay a dark black smudge. I squinted, and suddenly realized what I was looking at. It was Delisia, or what remained of it. It had been burned to the ground, only a few black pieces of framework left standing between the ashes and bricks. No smoke rose from it, signifying it had not been done too recently. A casualty of war, I was sure. I swallowed hard. Did this mean that this Luka was dead, or gone? I swallowed hard. As the rest of my fellow travelers panicked and strained to see, I sat still and cold.

What was I to do? Where was I to go? I had no one but Len, who was currently serving my death sentence. I felt panic rise in me, and I wanted to puke. I breathed steadily and shivered as a cold wind blew a few strands of my hair across my cheeks. I closed my eyes.

"What will we do?"

"Perhaps there will be some survivors nearby."

"Should we tell someone?"

I wanted everyone to shut up. Their voices were crowding my mind; I was going to explode. I hated these people, I hated this wagon, I hated my life.

"Hey! Over here!"

We all raised our heads to the left to find the person who had shouted. In the gray distance emerged a tall man with dark hair. We all piled out of the wagon and approached the man. He looked pretty worn out and was wearing a broken pair of spectacles. He smiled.

"Hello, you must be from the yellow country, yes?"

We nodded, and our driver stepped forward. "What happened here? Was this the town of Delisia?"

The man nodded. "I am Kiyoteru, and yes, this is the town of Delisia, or what it used to be. We were invaded by the Blue country and they burned down our village. Most of us escaped, and many of us are still living nearby."

Everyone was cheered by this, but I was still worried. I didn't even know what Luka looked like, and it's not like she was expecting me!

He led us into the woods to a crude camp. People spilled out and surrounded us, making me feel incredibly nervous. Many people embraced each other, finding family or friends they had been looking for. Others simply talked, trying to figure out who was dead or had left. I nervously stood alone, but realized I should be doing the same thing.

I made my way over to Kiyoteru, the man who had led us here. He seemed friendly. I cleared my throat and licked my lips before approaching him.

"Hello…um, do you by any chance know where a woman named Luka is?" I asked. He looked thoughtful.

"Luka…Yes, Luka Megurine! Used to run the bakery. She actually left a week before the fire, went to go start a new bakery in Seligh."

I couldn't hold in my sigh of relief. She was alive, and sounds like she didn't even lose anything!

He smiled, thinking I am relieved because she is a friend or family.

"Where is Seligh?" I asked eagerly. He hummed as he considered it.

"About a week and a half by wagon, double that on foot."

I winced. How am I supposed to make it there? I have some money, but who knows where the wagon will go after this. I definitely cannot walk there. I had a feeling I would have some sort of breakdown.

After a small but polite conversation with Kiyoteru where I avoided any personal questions, I faded away into the background until the driver announced he will be going back to the Yellow's capital. Some are going back with him, and I swallowed hard as I raised my hand to join them. I'll have to travel all the way back from the beginning and catch a ride that is going farther into green country so I can finally get to Luka.

We didn't waste a lot of time, getting up early the next morning to start back on the road. I didn't eat much at the camp, feeling ill. We bid goodbye to them and left.

About two hours into the ride, I feel sicker. I tried closing my eyes to ignore the feeling, but it just grew stronger, and I couldn't figure out why. Suddenly it all came at me, and I knew I was going to be sick. I leaned over the wagons edge and threw up everything in my stomach.

Everyone in the wagon edged away, but we kept rolling. It's over pretty fast, the sick feeling fading away.

I wiped my mouth off, my hands shaking. One man slapped me on the back.

"You ok son?" I blinked, and then thought of something. Nodding, I kept remembering "son."

I counted to myself, then counted again. I thought about it. No. It couldn't be. Such a thing…

I sat still, numb for a while. I felt fine now, a little hungry. But my head hurt.

I couldn't be. We couldn't be! We couldn't have, it's just my mind being paranoid.

But what if I was? What would I do? What would we do?

Oh no. Oh no oh no. Please no. It couldn't be!

I counted again. One month, two months, one week. 9 weeks.

I was. I had to be.

How could I be? Why hadn't we thought of this? Why was this happening? What would I do?

Son. A boy. I wish. I wouldn't have this problem then.

I was pregnant.

**A/N **

**Sorry this was late guys, but since the last chapter was so long and I was EXHAUSTED I decided to take a week off. I was really worn out from finals, but I did really well and am home now!**

**Expect a chapter next week, although it probably won't be very exciting. I hope you enjoyed Rin's little road trip XD**

**And yes! Rin is pregnant. It's beginning to tie into the first chapter, you know? Rin doesn't exactly exude motherhood though, does she? Well, people can change. And yes, she's got another plan. Like it'll work. But she can try...**

**So I hope you all are doing good and have a wonderful Christmas! Thank you for your patience!**

**Anyways~**

**Sourpatchkid03~ Already predicting his demise, huh? We shall see... And thank you XD**

**Nope, I don't speak Spanish. Sorry!**

**Cookiexo~ Aw thank you XD Sorry you were sad though TAT I'm glad your angst loving self can pick yourself up though XD **

**Oh yea o/o Thanks! I'm still embarrassed though XD**

**Rin is so stupid that I feel bad for making her so stupid! But she is so stubborn, and hasn't known anything else ever, so...I'm glad you think it's interesting, at least XD**

**My parents always question my sanity XD I saw the last Synchronicity! It made me cry so much TAT But I love it. I wrote a story based on it, and that story is still one of my favorites...**

**You never bore me XD I love Unicorns. 0.0**

**Thats such a good thing to believe in TAT You're so cool Cookie TAT**

**TheSapphireRose~ Hey! Thank you! I'm glad you caught it ;D I would expect no less! Thank you again!**


	22. Chapter 22

I had to tell Len. I had to! Oh lord, what would we do? A baby! I couldn't raise a baby!

I had never even held a baby. I had barely even seen a baby. I don't even remember being a baby! I wasn't one of those girls who dreamed of a mother; actually, the thought never crossed my damn mind, which is probably why I was in this situation.

Well no wonder I was throwing up. I felt sick, just sick. I was pregnant and on a rickety cart pretending to be a boy.

I had to tell Len, I had no idea what to do. I couldn't do it on my own!

Then I thought of something. They couldn't execute a pregnant woman. If I somehow, someway switch with Len, he could be free and I wouldn't die too!

But I was miles away from him. What was I going to do? Wasn't there a lot of things you couldn't do when pregnant? All I remembered was that you couldn't ride horses, but I didn't have a horse!

What would Len say? Len would want me to go to Luka. He would want me to be safe. But he had to know!

I tried to calm myself down, I had begun to hyperventilate and people were staring. Perhaps they thought I was going to be sick again.

I couldn't walk back, it was too far and too dangerous. And what if I ran out of food? Surely that would be bad for the baby.

The baby. I was suddenly growing a person inside of me. I was going to be in charge of a whole other person. I was going to be sick again.

I calmed myself down again, praying we would get to a town soon. I just wanted to cry or hit something. I felt so low.

The trip back was horrendous. I was violently ill and starving the rest of the time. I spent what was left of my money on food. I wouldn't let my baby suffer just to save money. Besides, Len would know what to do.

Finally we reached the city, but it was a different place than before. A few buildings were burnt and destroyed, and the place was full of raggedy people. The second I got off the cart, poor children began tugging on my cloak.

"Please sir, a few coins?" I shook my head and backed away, horrified. However, it soon became clear what was going on. The Blue Country was closing in, burning villages and attacking them. The villagers fled. And they were angry.

I wanted to go straight to Len, but I had to find a job. Unfortunately, there was none to be found. Everyone was poor or barely hanging on, and I realized I had no choice but to pawn Len's signet ring. The man accepted it with no words and paid me for it; much less than it should have been. But still it was more than enough.

I went to the cell as usual, and noticed it was busier than usual. There were not only more prisoners, but civilians arguing at the front. I glanced at the newly filled cells. Were they traitors? Blue warriors? Deserters?

Either way, the guard was irritated to see me. Never less, he took some of my money and led me to Len.

I waited until the guard was gone to move towards the cell. Len had already come forward.

I rushed to the bars. Len's face was tight with anger.

"What are you doing here?" he exclaimed, eyes narrowing. He was so explosively angry, he could barely keep his voice down.

I clapped a hand over my mouth in an effort not to burst into tears.

"Luka moved." I tried. "And…there's something else."

"Rin! Damn it… I…" As Len tried to figure out a solution, I placed my hand over his and squeezed, hard.

"Len, it's all right. I know where to find her." I said quickly, glancing behind me.

Len breathed out in relief. "Well you should have gone straight there!" He proclaimed furiously.

I swallowed hard. "Please Len, listen to me… it's important."

Len stopped and looked at my flushed face and teary eyes.

"Rin? What's wrong?"

I bit my lip and inhaled. My stomach churned so bad I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Len, I'm pregnant."

Len sucked in sharply, his eyes brightening into sapphire shards.

"…Pregnant?" he breathed. I nodded and leaned my head against the damp iron bars. A tear ran down my cheek as I stared at the cobblestones below.

Len suddenly grabbed both my hands and squeezed them so hard I gasped. I looked up, and his eyes were brimming with tears.

"A baby… oh Rin…" His voice was filled with happiness and pride, and I gaped at him.

He leaned forward to kiss my hand.

"Rin, our baby… Are you sure?"

I nodded again. "Positive." I managed. He beamed, overflowing with joy.

"Oh Rin…" he whispered, reveling with happiness. I suddenly started, my senses returning.

"Len! Perhaps you've forgotten you're in a cell!" I hissed. "And I'm pregnant…The baby will grow up without you…" My eyes brimmed with tears.

"I don't know anything about babies!" I continued. "I'm a horrible princess, a horrible sister, so what kind of mother will I be? A horr-"

Len stopped me cold with simply a look.

"Rin." He said quietly. "I know you will be a wonderful mother, because you are a wonderful person. You are the only person whom I love and trust completely. I know you're strong enough to do this. You don't need me."

I shook my head, but he reached out and caressed my cheek lightly.

"I'm so happy." Len whispered. "I never thought… a baby. Our baby." He could not hold back a persistent, overjoyed smile from his face.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned forward and kissed him through the constraints. He laughed quietly as we parted.

"Len, perhaps…" I started, but he was taken up in joy.

"Rin, you've given me so much." Len said. "Your love, and now I'm a father…" He laughed again.

"I'll be a happy man to go to his grave." He teased, but the thought of that still made me feel ill.

"But Len! Listen, don't you want to not miss everything? If we switch-"

His smile dropped. "Rin, what did I tell you?"

I interrupted him. "But if they find out I'm pregnant, they can't kill me! Perhaps-"

"They'll simply add conceiving out of wedlock to your list of offenses and wait until the baby is born." Len stated coldly. "Our baby will be given to some poor family and you will be sent to your death. And how exactly did you plan this switch? Slipping through these bars?"

I bit my lip, realizing he was right. My hopes were dashed. There really seemed to be no way to save Len.

Seeing my expression, Len's eyes grew softer. "My love, I know you're scared, and I know what you want. But it's simply not possible."

I bit my lip harder, willing myself not to cry. Len squeezed my hands.

"I want you to leave this place and go to Luka. Take care of yourself, and take care of our baby. And someday, if you can, tell them about me."

I looked up at him through my tears, and he stroked my cheek and smiled.

"I'm happy. Really, I am. I want you to be happy as well, and safe. Will you do that for me?"

I nodded wordlessly, gathering the strength Len always seemed to give me.

"If it's a boy, I'm going to name him after you." I vowed. Len laughed.

"Well, if it's a girl, name her after you." I wrinkled my nose.

"I can't name her after me, she'd get confused."

Len looked thoughtful. "Then name her Rinna. It's like your name, and it's pretty."

I nodded, realizing Len would never see our baby. At least his or her name would come from Leb. I could tell the baby that.

I glanced back shyly and grabbed Len's hand, lowering it down to press against my clothed stomach through the bars.

"There's nothing there yet, but…" I whispered. Len looked down and smiled up at me, pressing his hand firmly through my clothes.

"Our baby." He repeated, eyes shining, and I smiled back tearfully. Len leaned forward and I did as well to kiss him. As we parted he glanced behind me and drew back his hand.

I stumbled away from the bars and whirled around just to see the guard turning the corner of the doorframe. I turned back to the cell quickly.

"I love you." I whispered hurriedly.

"I love you too." He replied smoothly. In a slightly louder tone, he instructed: "Do as I told you, Father."

I nodded and backed away just as the guard neared us.

"Time to go." He said shortly. I nodded and headed for the door, readjusting my hood. I sent Len a last glance, and he gave me a small wave as the door closed behind me.

I tried to figure out what to do as I left. The best thing to do was probably to go to Luka. I sighed and went to rent a room with some of the money left, falling asleep immediately.

I was awakened by chanting, constant and fervent. I went to the window and looked out into a sea of thin and angry people. I immediately felt sick, but not from any kind of morning sickness. No, it was the memories of that night…that horrible night that induced such a reaction from me. However, this time eyes were not all on me. They were swarming the tower…the tower that held my brother.

I dressed hastily and ran down stairs, asking others for answers and letting myself be swallowed by the crowd. Eventually, I understood.

They were hungry, they were tired. Starved from either poverty, devastation or effects of war, they saw only one at fault: Me. The people could not put food in their stomachs or free themselves from their poverty, but they were demanding to satisfy the one hunger within their grasp: their hunger for justice.

My heart beat fast, but it was not out of concern for my identity. My heart no longer beat as my own, but only for Len. And they wanted to kill it…they wanted to end his life. And mine with it.

I clutched at my cloak and listened intently as the crowd hushed. I could not see over the people for my small staure, but a familiar voice rang out in the new silence.

"It is time for us to finally free ourselves from the last bond of oppression! The last of the traitorous Kagamine line is in our hands, and with her death our suffering will die as well!" The Red Warrior. Her voice, like a bell, voiced words I knew could nto be true. The death of my brother or even I would not help these pathetic, desperate people. They were a fools words, ones to try and keep power through hope. A tactic I had never used myself, but one I recognized none the less.

I felt sorry for these people. Honestly, I did. I had lived among them and I understood at least a portion of their horrible lives. But they were not doing anything but gaining another hopeless leader. One who was keeping her position by lying and false words. I knew better than anyone this would come back to bite her in the end, and would only prolong this suffering.

But I was not a princess anymore, and by removing me from my throne I had been stripped of my responcsibilities for these people. I was more one of them than I had ever been. Ironic, that now that I knew of such problems and pain, I no longer had the power to do anything.

I couldn't even save my own brother.

Meiko continued her rant as waves of naseua flowed through me and my thoughts plagued me. But two words caught my attention, two words that forever would change my life.

"Three days!" The red warrior cried. "Three days, and we will hang her from the gallows that have been waiting for her since she was born!"

Three days. My brother's life was marked, a set date. He had three days of rotting in a cold, damp cell until he was led to the noose. The noose made for me.

I back away, horrified. The people let me through, and I went until my back hit a wall. With shaking hands I felt behind me for a latch. I needed, I had to get away.

I found my way to my room and collapsed on my bed with great heaving sobs. "Len…Len…" I sobbed. "Stay with me, stay with me Len…" I stayed like this for a long time, crying even when I had no more tears to cry. Until I fainted from exhaustion, I cried. It had seemed so unreal…something that would not happen. And now…it was over. His blood would stain these streets forever. And it would be my fault.

**A/N**

**Hey guys. I am really, truly sorry for not updating for so long. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately, especially with depression and anxiety and stuff. But I won't bore you with the details. Just know I'm good, and I will be finishing this story, hopefully going back to my schedule of once a week updates, but don't be surprised if they stretch onto every two weeks. But God help me, I will finish this story! XD Half of the rest is already written!**

**Again, I am so sorry, and thank you so much if you are still following and reading. You guys really are the best, and really motivate me! I always feel lethargic now, so it's really hard to keep going sometimes, but you guys are totally worth it.**

**Still, I won't be answering reviews this time, I'm sorry ;-; If I try to, I'll end up not posting this for even longer. But know I cherish each one, and if I can, I'll answer them next time. Thank you all again so, so much. I hope you enjoy this chapter, at least! I don't know if it was worth the wait, sorry .**


	23. Chapter 23

I woke with a start. The first of the last days. The moment I reached consciousness my hands began to shake and I felt ill. I knew the child inside me needed nourishment, but I could not keep anything down but water. Placing my hand in apology over my stomach in the privacy of my room, I vowed to get a hold of myself. As these last days went by I would only get worse…and I could not hurt the small flicker of life inside me.

So I managed some bread and stonily glared at myself in the mirror, willing my body to keep it down. After a while though I could not bear my own appearance; it was too much in likeness as my brother's.

I had to see him. I no longer cared that I would be defying his wishes for the hundredth time or so. I suppose I would not be me if I did not do what I thought was best. Besides, did it all really matter? It did and it didn't…I felt so hopeless. I needed Len, I needed him so badly. He always was my guiding light, even if his presence was not near. But to have it wiped out entirely...I would be lost. I needed comfort; I needed a way out of this hell. But it seemed that this time, even Len could not grant me this.

It was more foolish than I considered at first. The money I had left wasn't even enough to pay for the journey I was supposed to take, yet I was willing to give it all up. For Len. That would not please him for sure…But not only that, I did not consider that the situation had changed.

When I reached the tower, I was surprised to find a small crowd of people, jeering and calling in hopes their insults would reach Len's ears. I was instantly angered. They were going to get his blood shed, yet they continued in persisting to make him suffer even more so? I pushed through them more roughly than I should have to stay inconspicuous, but my emotions were far from controlled.

I entered and noticed how many guards there were. As soon I passed through the doorway, one turned his attention to me at once.

"Out. You know the rules. No one sees the princess." The man's dark eyes glittered in the dark lamplight as they ran over me. I suddenly felt nervous. Perhaps Len was right to tell me such a thing was dangerous.

But I had come here before. Where were the guards I had paid off before? "I've seen her before." I told him. "I'm her religious consultant." I added.

The guard scoffed. "No one is allowed in except for a select few, and you, _Father_, are not one of them. Guards were changed out as soon as the announcement went up for extra precaution. Don't want anyone getting sympathetic." He looked at me as he drawled the last word for emphasis, but I could not back down now. I had to see my twin.

"I have money." I said more quietly, but I did not look away. He lifted his chin and glared down at me with a strange look, and once again my nerves made my body tense.

After a long moment of silence, he finally uttered his answer. "Out!" Seeing the looks of the rest of the guards, I did leave. It was impossible and unsafe.

Back in my room, I still racked my brain. But nothing made sense. I could not reach Len. I could not reveal myself. I could not help him escape. I could not switch with him. There were no options. There were no choices for me. They had each ended the moment I had turned my back on my brother and ran. My cowardice was not only the end of me, but of Len.

Eventually I fell victim to my stress fueled exhaustion and slept, waking to find one day passed. Shocked, I did not know what to do with myself. What was there to do? Feeling more alone than I had ever felt, and more hopeless than even the day before, I sobbed until I ran out of tears. Finally recalling my new responsibilities, I picked at the feeble meal I had but kept a small portion down. As the day drifted by, I lay in bed and tried to comfort myself. I imagined a child like Len…Golden, intelligent, sweet. My own Len…

* * *

And there it was, staring at me in the face in the form of blinding sunlight. The last day. The day my brother would die. The day I too would die, in at least one form.

There were no tears in this morning. They were too selfish. I tried not to think, to not imagine my thin, pale brother being put in chains and readied for his death. I tried not to think of what I would see, what I would hear. What I would do when it was all over. What it would feel like to be completely alone for the first time in my life; half of a whole with a missing piece.

One. Not two.

Alone.

The shaking of my body could not be stopped; I violently trembled with every beat of my racing heart. Inside, a selfish girl begged me not to go, not to see the damage she had done. A harsher side of myself practically slapped her into silent submission. But the stress of this day took its toll on my body, and I fell to my bed, passing out.

When I awoke I heard it, the horrible chanting. It seemed to swell and quiet again and again. After a moment of blank listening, I realized it had begun.

I rushed to prepare myself, leaving most of my things in the room. I ran down the stairs, noticing how utterly empty the place was. Everyone in town had gone to see the red blood of a Kagamine spill.

The place was not hard to find, following the loud sounds to their source. It appeared I was later than I thought, for the Red Warrior was finishing up her speech of triumph, which resulted in roars of approval. And then just as I turned the corner, the loudest cheer yet. They were leading Len out.

The crowd was overwhelming to me, the sight swimming before my eyes. Due to my short stature I couldn't even see the platform from the back where I stood. I had to get there, I had to see him, I had to let him know I loved him and was sorry.

I pushed through the crowd, images and memories flying through my head. Len, smiling at me. Len, sleeping. Len, laughing. Len, staring out at the sea. Len, his mouth moving to say my name. Len.

They were cheering. Len must have been brought closer to the guillotine. I stopped and jumped up, trying to catch a glimpse. I was still so far, but I could see a blond head being led to the platform.

I began to run, slamming people out of the way. But they pushed back almost as hard as I did. My heart beat faster and faster, and the crowd began to quiet. There were muffled sounds, and as I neared, I swore I could hear the sound of heels on the platform. My twin, being led to his death.

I opened my mouth to scream, but someone, someone I didn't even see, pushed me. Hard.

I fell to the ground, the air knocked out of me. I struggled to get to my feet, but my breaths were shallow and I felt dizzy. Still, I tried, I had to.

And then I heard it.

A deadly swish of something slicing through the pin-quiet air. I could feel it as it pulled down all my hopes, dreams, and love as it flew down through the air, and sliced through my brother's neck.

A cheer rose up, loud and piercing into the cold air. I stood shakily in a trance, and as the crowd began to separate, I saw a blond head being held high into the air.

I realized I wasn't even close to the platform, and that my brother, my twin, my love was dead.

I leaned over and threw up all over the cobblestones. With loud groans, people stepped away from me hastily. I almost fell to my knees, but an older man grabbed me by my collar. I should have felt fright, but I felt so ill and numb that I was ready to die.

"Aw, first time, eh lad?" Somehow, I think I nodded. He laughed a bit then set me down, giving me a rough pat on the back. "Too bad your breakfast has gone to waste. Come to the next one, and ye'll get used to it."

He left me alone, and I turned my back to that horrible scene.

I was too late.

I was too weak.

Len was gone.

* * *

The night I left the country, it stormed. Rain beat against every hut, and right through my cloak.

But I felt nothing, not the cold, not emotions, nothing. I was empty, a shell tossed in the wind. I trudged on with little will, and if not for Len's wish and our child, I would have simply laid down where I stood, curled up, and waited for darkness.

I fought to keep my memory free of thought, of memories. They brought forth feelings I could not handle, not now. Brought guilt and swells of sadness so thick and overwhelming that one sweep could knock the air out of me. But I had to go on.

I reached the border, I found an inn, and even in the late of the night, secured myself a room. I hardly noticed the man's expression when he saw me, completely wet and dripping, asking for a room in a flat voice I could barely muster. But although I may have noticed, I no longer cared. He took the last of my money with one swipe.

Once in my room, I stood, frozen and numb for minutes, maybe an hour. Feeling the water drip off me onto the dusty boards beneath my feet as my eyes watched the flicker of the candle granted to me by the innkeeper. It moved by an unseen wind, its color flickering as its flame. For I moment, I was tempted to throw it to the floor, to leave me in the darkness. But I knew I could no longer be selfish. Not anymore.

I stripped from my wet clothes, leaving them on the floor. Across the room on the wall was a secured mirror. I met my own eyes in the glass.

Dead eyes regarded me emotionlessly. It took in my red eyes, stringy hair, and ghastly skin with little consideration. I swallowed hard and fought to keep myself from tearing it from its nail and smashing it to pieces. I forced my eyes away from my image as another face, similar to mine, flicked across my mind with searing pain. I instead looked down, to a small bump that was barely noticeable. Nothing in it stirred yet, but I could feel a small spot of warmth there, as our baby fought to grow.

A drop of water fell onto my stomach, cold and startling even as I watched it fall. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't water, but a tear that had run down my cheek. I wiped it away and cursed myself for selfish tears.

I crawled into bed with little willingness despite the shivers that racked my body. Soon enough, sobs took over my frame, rocking me where I lay with the force of the sadness. I soon slipped into sleep from exhaustion, but not without the thought that my first day without Len was over, but there would be thousands more to endure.

**A/N **

**Well that was pretty sad ;-; But next chapter we meet Luka! I promise it'll be out sooner than this one. Either way, were you guys surprised? I know you guys didn't want Len to die ;-;**

**Thanks for reading and sticking with this! I am really grateful, and I would rather die than not finish this story! So no worries ;)**

**Cookieox~ Yea, so nice of me after all that silence! *snorts* **

**Thanks babe...It's pretty serious. I have been doing some intensive treatment and since it's a chemical unbalance thing that can't be solved with just talking about it, I've also been put on a few medications. But I've been feeling much better, thank you.**

**God, you are so sweet! Your support means everything, babe. Thank you 33**

**Tokioo~ I'm sorry dear ;-; I promise it'll get better! If it doesn't, you can take away my keyboard ;D**

**Oh, thank you for telling me that, but I do know I'm doing it wrong XD I took a creative writing class two years ago and it was pointed out, so I usually do write correctly. But this is sort of the habit of mine, and since it's faster for me to do it this way than constantly reminding myself to do commas and such. On all my professional and serious writing, I do do it right though. Just a bad habit of mine :P But thank you for taking the time to point that out for me, I know that if I wasn't so lazy it would make the dialogue look better! My apologies if it bothers you, I know the feeling .**

**Thank you very much, that's very kind of you! I promise I will not disappear. Everything will be much easier now that I'm out of school!**

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**VeryBerry96~ Thank you! I'm sorry your friends are going through it too, it really sucks :( But thank you for the well wishes!**

**IloveFanfiction-AnimeAdik~ I know! And they passed pretty fast...Thank you, thats really sweet of you / I promise to update sooner.**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ I'm sorry it's so sad . It'll get better! That's not weird, all stories have different viewpoints! In this story, Rin is obviously a bit nutty and does do some horrible things, but we sort of see it isn't all her fault, you know? **

**Heartgold~ Oh I'm sorry! Don't cry! *hugs* We'll see Luka next chapter ;)**

**Anonymous~ Thank you!**

**Oh don't worry, I am aware. I've done a good amount of research and been on the lovely Mothy's page several times~ But after thinking about it, I thought that adding a touch of Re_birthday would be good since it was a part of my original inspiration. But I do know the correct storyline that has been outlined by Mothy~ But if you're worried, the part with Re_birthday is very small. So no worries!**

** . ~ Thank you! I will do my best to upload soon. Thank you for your patience, I hope your tea was good XD**

**Thank you all! I'd say anywhere from a week to 3 weeks before the next chapter. A lot of it is already written, so cross your fingers! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm also almost to 100 reviews, something thats NEVER happened in one of my stories; So THANK YOU AGAIN! You all make writing even better.**


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning was damp, with clouds but no rain. I followed the directions given to me faithfully, and soon enough reached the door of my destination. For a moment, I paused, my hand shaking. The letter Len had given me had been soaked, but dried out with the ink hardly blurred. I kept it clutched in my other hand like a sword to protect me. Inside I mustered something, pulled up my hood, and knocked on the door.

A curvy, tall woman considered me suspiciously as she opened the door. She had long pink hair that draped behind her.

"Hello, may I help you?" she said firmly.

_Think, say something, say something,_ I urged myself. But I could barely even open my mouth, so I woodenly moved my hand up, to hand her the letter.

She gazed at it for a moment before taking it. Eyes the color of a night sky- blue, but not as light as mine or Len's- examined the damp envelope carefully. She opened it, read the first line than halted.

"Come," she said, motioning me with a jerk of her head to follow as she walked into the house, her long skirts trailing across the dirt floor. She sat in a chair delicately, and pulled out the letter again. I stood awkwardly by the door, unsure of what to do. I felt like a caged animal, wondering whether to run or stay.

Her sharp blue eyes swept across the page swiftly, her lips moving occasionally to mouth the words she read. Only once did she stop, and looked at me sharply. With one look I trembled as I felt like a brittle piece of glass, she could see every mar and scar as well as seeing through me. Once she returned to the letter, I calmed, but could feel my hands still shake.

She read it twice, and once she had done so, she put down the letter and looked out the window. Suddenly, she turned to me.

"Is he gone?" she asked bluntly.

For a moment, I could not move. _Gone…_I nodded as my legs began to shake. The memory of the blood flashed, and I barely held back a sob, a noise barely audible, but like a scream in the silent room.

She stood and walked over to me, and looked at me with hard eyes.

"Did you love him?"

I expected pain, but felt only warmth, a reminder of how I had always felt those few, precious months. I gazed up into her eyes.

"M-More than anything." I replied, with a slight tremor. She nodded slowly, and then gazed at my hood intently. Carefully, I pulled it down. As I did, I heard her inhale.

"In his image, you are." She commented. "Truly twins." My hand flew above my chest, my fingernails digging into the skin where I hurt. Twins we were, but no longer. Now I am no one.

She crossed her arms and looked into my eyes, causing our eyes to be locked and denying me the ability to look away.

She sighed. "You have done horrible things, things I cannot really understand, because I don't even know what I would do in such a time. Your brother truly loved you. I knew it when I first heard him speak of you, and just reading that letter makes me wish I had such a bond."

I stared owlishly when she paused, but only continued: "Right now, I am angry for things you have done, but I realize Len made his choice, and you are not always at fault. There are many things wrong with that country." She gazed off, and a looked at her more closely. Her expression was one yearning for something lost, but at the same time she struck me as slightly familiar…

"However, before me I don't see the 'Daughter of Evil' people so heinously describe. I only see a trembling slip of a girl, lost and carrying many things, as well as a baby, I see."

I moved my hands to my stomach as she nodded to it, and felt that warmth again. "How did you know?" I asked, startled. She smiled very slightly before it dimmed. "You've got the look of a deer caught in the headlights."

She shifted. "You may stay with me. For Len, I will protect your identity and the child's, as long as you follow my rules, and don't do anything to expose yourself. However, you must earn you keep within reason. As you get bigger, things will change." I sighed out, breathing my first relief. But she continued.

"But remember this, Princess. You are Rin now, and only that. And any kindness other than those stated, you must earn yourself. I will pay you no false feelings or gestures. And you must never lie to me. Understood?"

I nodded, and then cleared my throat. "Yes. And tha-"

"No thanks. Not to me." I nodded, swallowing dryly. _Thank you, Len. _I thought to myself.

* * *

She gave me her guest bedroom and I laid down in it and slept for hours on end. The first few weeks were a blur of sleeping, eating, and learning the ways of my new life.

In a way, it was easier than it was before. I knew no matter what that I would have food in my stomach and a room to sleep in, and there was nothing to think about or prevent. Luka was kind enough to me, but she was true to her word. She did not spare me on hard work with exception to my pregnancy, but she was never cruel, grudging, or even unpleasant. She never seemed to mind me eating more than her, occasionally encouraging it if she saw fit. She had great patience when explaining how to knead bread for the fifth time, and introduced me to every person who walked in the door.

For the time, I was claimed as her niece. We were not too far off on age; less than ten years, but this was a good, believable story. Almost everyone was welcoming and kind. At first, I was clueless to any kind of conversation or manners. Although I had lost my expectations and royal manner, I had not gained anything else. In the palace I spoke to who I wanted about what I wanted. If a conversation did not go my way or went in a direction that bored me, I'd simply leave. Sometimes without even excusing myself.

But what did one speak about to a stranger? How did you greet someone? I soon learned both. Unfortunately, most people were curious. Where I had come from, who I was, what I knew, why I was here, and as I got bigger, who the father was. I told the truth if I could, but lied for most of it. I memorized the lies in my head so I wouldn't mix them up. That was important not just for me, but also for Luka.

At first I was only concerned about them finding out because of what would happen to me, but the longer I stayed the more I realized. Luka was really helping me out and putting herself on the line. She had told people I was her relation; of the truth got out they would know she had lied. To her, I was grateful. To Len, I was even more grateful for his friendly nature and ability to create such lasting bonds and impressions on others. Without him, I'd be even more alone in this world.

As time passed and I got bigger, I felt things change. Luka and I became closer, sitting by the fire and eventually talking every night. It began with her asking about Len, and only went from there. She granted me more kindness than I deserved as we became closer, and I did my best to return that to her. But in many ways I was still selfish.

* * *

One night, I gazed at her, getting that feeling that I had seen her before. Without looking up from her knitting, she asked: "Is there something in my hair, Rin?"

Startled for being caught staring, I shook my head. "No, I…I thought I had seen you before." A fine pink eyebrow was raised, and a hint of a smile was brought to her face.

"That's because you have. I wondered if you would have noticed." My eyes widened. Oh no…What had she seen? What did she know? Had she seen me…as I used to be?

She looked up and gave me a sly smile. "I worked at the palace for a while." My eyes widened farther and she returned to her knitting; a small blanket for the baby.

"Your brother got me the job. We met in my old town when he was on his travels, and he wrote to me and told me he had gained a job at the palace and could do so for me. I needed the money, so I went. It was a fine job that gave me enough money to help start this bakery, but I only saw you a few times. I worked mostly in the east side of the palace." I nodded, recalling the palace once more. Len…

Her smile dimmed and then flickered out. Seeing it, I waited for a moment before asking, "Why did you leave?"

Her needles paused for a moment before starting up again. She looked at me, and then sighed. "While at the palace, I fell in love. I had a romance with a man you know…Gakupo…He was an advisor, I believe." I gave a small gasp and then nodded.

"Gakupo? He…loved you?" I remembered what he had done to me, and in turn, what I had done to him. Luka sighed.

"I thought he did. But it turns out his status was more important than any love he felt for me. I became pregnant, and asked him to come away with me and start our family. He said no." My heart thudded when I heard that, my anger for the tall man growing. Luka said he had felt love for her but…in the end, his greed won.

I swallowed. "I'm sorry…" I said, but I sensed there was more to the story.

"Thank you. In the end though, I lost the child and his doings were found out by you. I had enough money saved up, and your brother came to me and warned me of danger to come. I pressed him for more and he told me the entire story. He knew he could trust me. I left then, but I ended up here rather in my hometown where I had told Len. It was too dangerous there, and I knew war would break out. So I traveled over the border and settled here." She set down her needles as if tired by the entire affair.

I shifted in my seat and caught her staring at the fire intently, as if visions of her life were held there. "I'm sorry that happened to you…I wish it had been different." I said honestly. My hand lay on my growing stomach as I imagined what it would be like to lose the only piece left of Len and I's love. Horrible…with a shudder, I felt my eyes sting. Sympathy was a harsh thing.

* * *

Despite the kindness I received from Luka and my new life, every day was hell.

Every morning I'd wake up, and in that moment between dreaming and consciousness, I'd forget. I'd be sure Len was right beside me, waiting for me to wake up as usual. And every day, he wasn't.

Entering reality always tasted like blood.

There was hardly a night I didn't cry myself to sleep, or at least wake up with tears on my cheeks. The most wonderful dreams could be the cruelest ones, tricking me into thinking he was with me.

But he wasn't. I was empty, alone. Every smile was nothing, every word was nothing. This world was nothing, because everything wasn't him.

Everything I should find joy in I only found more sorrow, because Len was not here to share it with.

The first time the baby kicked, a beautiful day, the moment I finished both of Len's books and understood them. In the moments I should have found the most happiness only made the knives of hurt dig deeper.

Those times were the ones that would kill me, make me dead inside. Those were the times that Luka would send me into the back room and hold my hand or let me cry on her shoulder. She understood my longing, my pain for love. And she did not think it was unjustified.

So as each morning was another day without Len, every night was the end to another as empty as my heart. And that never changed.

* * *

It began on a Tuesday.

I had been scrubbing out pots, too big to scrub the floor or lift anything heavy. My stomach was so large I had to be careful when I walked so I would not tip forward. The baby was so active it kept me up at night, the small thing so active it kept reminding me how dead I felt. Compared to how lively it was, I practically was dead.

But there it was. A small clench to my abdomen, one that surprised me. Had my emotional pain somehow found its way to my body?

I ignored it, but it steadily increased by the hour. Clueless, I scrubbed the pans harder and harder, waiting for each swell to bowl over. God, what had I eaten?

It was only when Luka found me, scrubbing hard with a sheen of sweat covering my body when I realized it: I was in labor. I stumbled away from her, catching myself on the counter when I felt a wetness on my legs. I looked down then up, meeting her shocked eyes. For a moment it was silent, so quiet you could hear the birds chirping. And then the pain.

I groaned out and held onto the counter tightly, the pain washing over me so bad I could barely stand. Luka directed me towards my room and set me up in bed before running for the midwife and shutting down the bakery.

I gasped as another wave of pain hit and clutched the bed. Just as it was dying down, I let my head roll down to the side onto Len's books on my bedside table. Len.

I was having our baby, and I needed him.

* * *

"No…" I moaned, feeling like I was going to die. Hours later, nothing had happened but the pain had increased. I was weak and tired, and I wanted this baby out.

Luka brushed back her long pink hair and fixed her eyes on mine.

"Rin, you have to, there isn't any choice."

I started to cry, pain seizing me. "I can't!" I said. Luka shook her head. I fell back onto the bed with a gasp, feeling so tired. Hour after hour of pain but what seemed like no progress. It was the middle of the night, and the midwife had left after telling Luka what to do. We didn't have enough money to pay for her to stay all this time.

"You have to." Was Luka's only response. I was sobbing as Luka propped me up on the bed and checked the water. She gathered a bunch of clothes as I lay there, wishing I would just die.

Pain kept coming in waves, only letting me breath every so often. It got stronger and longer each time, making me start to panic. Although it had been happening for hours, it was coming so fast now, barely leaving me with any time to breathe.

"Luka…" I groaned, reaching for her hand. She grasped my hand firmly as I squeezed on her hand, and I saw her wince.

"Sorry." I gasped. She nodded and began folding a cloth up and gave it to me to hold.

"Squeeze that, I have to be able to take the baby."

I couldn't breathe. "There has to be something you can do to stop this. I can't do it, I can't."

Luka glared at me. "Rin, you're going to have to suck it up. There is nothing you can do but push, and we have to wait a little bit longer or the baby won't even be able to make it out."

I shut my mouth and gritted my teeth. This was all happening so fast now. I was so hot I was sweating constantly. It hurt so badly, like something was slowly ripping me apart.

I didn't think it could get worse, but it did. For two more hours the pain came and left in short bursts, making me cry out and sob in pain. It was as if all my emotional pain had transferred to this and was finally actually ripping me apart. Luka couldn't do anything but make me comfortable, but it didn't matter. By the time the pain was almost always present, I couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't do it, I can't do it." I sobbed.

"Yes you can Rin, just breathe. Focus on breathing. You're going to have to push soon!"

I sobbed, which did not help my breathing, and although Luka was here, I felt alone. I wanted Len. Len. He could always calm me down. Len wouldn't let me be in such pain, oh how I wanted Len. He wouldn't be here for the birth of our baby.

"I want Len." I told Luka, and she got a furrowed look.

"I'm sorry, Rin." She replied, patting my arm.

I cried harder. "Len!" I screamed. I wanted him here to hold my hand, so I wouldn't be here alone.

Luka looked up. "Rin, it's time to push."

I couldn't, and I told her so. "Not without Len, I can't, I can't."

Luka got up and grabbed my chin, making me look at her.

"Len is not here, Len is gone. This baby is coming whether you want it to or not, so unless you want to lay here in pain some more, it's time to push."

Scared, I nodded. I closed my eyes and pushed.

"Good job Rin, now breathe." I tried just to focus on her voice and do what she told me, but it hurt so badly. I was being ripped in half.

"Push!"

I pushed and breathed, pushed and breathed. I was so sick of it that I was ready to hurt someone, I was so upset. I could never have even imagined this pain, and god it hurt so badly.

"Push Rin!"

I pushed, damn it. I pushed and then I heard Luka inhale. I felt like I was going to pass out. There was no way I could push any more.

A wailing cry pierced the air.

I opened my eyes and tried to raise my head. The crying continued, and Luka stood up.

A screaming, red thing was wrapped in a blanket in her arms. I stared at it, shocked.

Luka smiled and walked over to me, holding the bundle out.

"Rin, you have a daughter!"

Stunned, I tried lifting out my arms to hold her, but I wasn't sure how to move them to hold her. Luka adjusted my arms and placed the little thing in them.

I was stunned as I looked at the angry little face. She was really beautiful. A hand reached out, and it was so, so small. Five tiny, perfect fingers. So beautiful.

She had wispy, blond hair, just a little. Her eyes were closed, so I examined her tiny nose and pink lips. She was so small. Was she really mine, mine and Len's?

My throat was dry but I was crying, trying not to get it on the baby. I vaguely felt Luka cleaning everything up and preparing a bath for the baby, but I couldn't stop staring at this little baby.

I swallowed dryly and stroked her warm cheek. "It's ok," I whispered. "Don't cry."

I held her closer and kissed her. I was shocked to discover how much I loved her. She was so precious, she was everything. After a little bit of soothing, she calmed down. She sort of opened her eyes, not too much, but enough to see a pair of beautiful blue eyes. Just like Len and I's.

She kept her arms up close as well as her legs. I wrapped her blanket in a bit more; I didn't want her to be cold. Soon, Luka came to bathe her.

"Will she be ok?" I worried, holding her close. Luka smiled.

"I'll bring the tub over here so you can see. She'll like the water."

She did, and emerged nice and clean. She yawned as Luka handed her back to me, her pink lips curving sweetly as she nestled into my arms.

"Talk to her Rin, babies like that." Luka advised. Licking my lips nervously, I gently ran a finger around her face.

"Hey, baby." I cooed. "I'm Rin. I'm your mommy." She moved a little, I think she liked it.

My throat swelled up. "Your father's name is Len. He loved you very much." I told her. I could feel tears running down my cheeks again. I wish Len could be here to see her.

"Rinna…" I whispered to her. "Your daddy named you Rinna."

**A/N**

**I did an A/N for this but the stupid thing deleted it...so I'll do it later. THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS! 2 chapgters left!**


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